Judge — December 5, 1885 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS (siren © sp Cas, Ove copy, on One py, abe mon y. for Stale cop THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY, $24, 326 and 323 Pearl "TO CORRESPONDENTS AND CONTRIBUTORS. DTI OFPICK AT THERE OWS Ke erases cas, WHERE A PRICE [8 S07 Al Warne THAT PART WILL me AOREED UPOS FOR THE WHOLE, QUENT LAN ‘conson MEST. CIVILIZED COW-BOYS. What is our busine best, but a‘ stand-and. scheme? ‘ Hold up your hands” is nota greater terror to the derfoot on the Plains, than is ‘* C. O. D.” to the helples Our whole business aystem is founded on the cow-boy principle, caveat emptor—Let every buyer look out!—which means that over- charging and cheating are proper and legal up to the point of detection. No more is claimed in behalf of any robbery than that Might makes Right. Let the traveler and the pater familias be- ware. The gent, the milliner, the bunco-steerer, the plumber, the Wall street sharp, the gas man, the dress maker, Old Santa Claus and Old Nick are on their trails. Well, a man has no with than he can use on his own needs, and they who supply the artifi modern life are the socialists who help to secure a divide and keep the money in cir- culation. iver” s citizen in the city. road- business more al wants of “WHEN THIEVES FALL OUT.” The senate investigation into New York misgovernment has gone to the point of causing the thieves to fall out s..1 begin tel- ling truths about one another, Each bureau that has been opened has revealed its own peculiar and excelling rotteness, while there isa delightful preservation of the Demo- cratic unities in a proper increase of the steal- THE JUDGE. 1 corruption as they ascend the offi- It answers Metropolitan ideas of propriety that a bribe of $25 should eof a humble policeman’s je th month out Ward, by Grace; etic ings cial seale, be the honesty, Mayor is making 30 per cent. a f his connection with Ferdinand the brevet custodian of the city funds, and that where aturnkey sells his 1 trust the police just y of the clerks and of their salaries for for a small honorarium, es maintain t bench by usse art stenographers 80 per c¢ the and beboof of the bench— and of the ward politicians back of it. ‘To still further support official digni we are edified by M and truly clusive r Grace’s indignant irtuous arraignment of the I let and cashier all the dishon of the city, even tho offic Mem:—These uncovered cals are Democrats and the head of the gang ** Democratic reformer.” Kingdom of Democracy. commissioners, ow, the legislature arra 1 it leaves not one in all is a And of such is the JAPANESE POLITICS. The Mugwump courtiers of the deral Mikado were determined to show their zeal and importance by cutting off some one’s political head. They had everything ar- d for a capital act. The execution went off with eclat and chocolate eclaires. But when the returns were in and it ap- peared that the Magwump executioners had made the grie ake of trying to cut off the head of Nanki-Po Ifill, the heir- apparant to the Mikado Cleveland's seat, the the tables were turned. The Mugwamp had blundered, and in independent politics a blunder is worse than a crime. Since then the fate of the Mugwamps has been a lingering one, with humor and frying mixed. Everbody jokes and roasts the Ko-Kos, Pooh-Bahs and Yum-Yums of our politic: FRrienpiy assurance—the conduct of the man who hails you Tom, or Jack, and proves his friendship by a whack and, “lend mea V.!” THE PRESIDENT ANNOU no time to give for office. es that he has ‘o considering applications Yet, several million of Demo- bout three month’s time last year to considering only one man’s application for office. Cleveland was his name—Cleve- land, of Buffalo. erats gave Because Tuk Nw Democratic collector of customs at Boston is a gentleman, clean, well-mannered and decent, the Democratic papers all denounce him as a Mugwump. And the Mu do not seem to feel insult nor are the Democrats made blushingly self- conscious by the reflection on spoils Democ- racy. t officials | RULINGS. Tue Lance Nuuper of mulattoca and quadroons indicates the general prevalence of color-blindness in the South, Miss ANDERSON’S PAILURE is an encour- aging rebuke to American Anglomania. heatrical dudism is too high-priced at Tue ENG.isn pea of stumping in the pending canvass, seems to be, an oceasion for throwing ars und cabbages at stumps of ci the speaker. ‘Tue New Youn World insists that it is not an organ. What does the World know about it, anyway. It does not even who owns and edits it. know A MAN IS WRITING Inter-Ocean addressed to a Mugwump. We fear they will all land in the dead-letter office, marked, ‘Party addressed not found.” long letters in th Cot, Bor INGERSOLL seems the most suc- cessful faith-cure in the country, He cures everybody of faith in anything, or tries to. Some chronic cases he can’t t fello ich —happy ‘THERE IS ABROAD more hostility to slug- ging mai than there is dz them. A prize fight now literally fills the ancient description of a tournament—“ a gentle and joyous passage-at-arms.” A BRILLIANT SOCIETY SEASON means a time when much money is spent by people who can afford it, more by those who can’t, most by those who spend other people's money and so can best afford it. A PAPER HAS BEEN STARTED in Pennayl- vania called Death, devoted extensively to chronicling cases of suicide and murder. The first dailies of New York already occupy this ground, and they claim to be live papers, too. A New York oirt, who married an English nobleman a few years ago, has learned from a London weekly that her hus- band is “a card-sharper and an unmitigated blackguard.” She ought to congratulate herself that her husband is astep in advance of the typical English “gentleman” who considers it a husband's prerogative to larrap and kick his wife ad libitum. THE PREE-TRADE CONVENTION at Chica- go was the first ray of hope that the fearfully depressed shipping and manufacturing. in- terests of Great Britain have seen from this side in along time. Inasmuch as the de- bates showed that the convention was made up of stark cranks who represent no one outside of the lunatic asylums, it was not much of a ray, either. comicbooks.com