Judge — November 28, 1885 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“ES? an | tilential Nuisance 1 a Sneak Thief. | f ” exclaime oO S! OYES! * 1 NEST (01 Morul— Never try to defend yourself by ex: iment. © Timely ition or apolo; The'safest course is | timely,” added th 3 good as is sent. When two per- | * ted chestnuts in to quarrel the world will wag. its head and remark, * Six in one, half adozen | i" Most folks would rather save thi in the other.” — [Boston ‘Transcript. One mother in Wilkes-Barre, who discov- Merchant Travel ‘i lered that her daughter was being taught ___ Pisreaae Teseeler: Man (who has just called on Dr. Dio | physiology and hyg: before yeate The actor who drinks from a pasteboard cup wis)—"* Doctor Fam not well.” Doctor— | day addressed the following note to her Tome ona Stop smokin } Ihave pains in| teacher: Anut lie, from wh : . , eee : Dear Miss : od To-morrow may by the roa y cl Btme.” | Docior And he who is counting his vieti q i Mn , What would vervthing, w Traveler. I's very sweet, you know, to kiss A winsome, fair and mode But when the lady isa Mr don’t. want: my daughter to be taught about her insides, It isnt r , and I don’t like it Amb he fora hon . fa cranton Republican, v Ww may HL shoes to liv exarka 8 glass for And she who is Lin her queenly silk, é C1 medical ps _ Wife—"T must the children some vis but dust picce to a lamp. y that — blue-looking imney, and keep it up all day.” This all's Sun. | suggest a pane in the stomach to some — ‘ ‘ant idiot, —[N. O. Picayune. D if you call the bue- looking stuff linsey= e you'd call the There are people who never get out of a| A disciple of Blacks b Albany, ¢ red-looking stuff Cardinal Woolsey, wouldn't rut and who are so narrow that they could carrying home i Jle w not straddle one if they did. shed, ‘Hello, J, what is that? Pos- [Kansas City Journal. | “What are you going to do wi him? I'm going to have a big.’ ‘tucks feanax'be _ A late book is called Ihdf Honr with | suppei “Tow many will be there?” sey ab may, Oe ng HERE insects.” The anthor protably undertook | +/['wo-—me and the ‘possum.” come in ¢ bute with wey one who can stim- to spend the night ata M polis Hotel [Goodall’s Sun. ulitellestnal ellon —_ [St. Paul Herald. (Arkansaw Traveler. You've got less sense than any man | ever saw.” 1 the temperature of the United rw we have it that our own Mary An- | States be changed asks the utifie derson has adopted the English trick of | cLmerican. We ean'tanswer for the whole : . turning her toes in. This is abominable, | country, but we take. pleasure ins replyin “ Lady,” s © woman, stopping Turn the rascals out.—[Albany ‘ . that itean as fur as New England as ¢ at the ofa prominent citizen and ad- 7 cerned. In fact, we have known it to wob- | dressing the mistress of the | ae A Boston man was taken ill out ble seventy di ? ore inside: wants ter tell yer dat Tha er de When asked if he wanted anything, hi twenty-four houre —[Somenrillo Journal. | louse jes’ ercross de street, iif T fin's * Oh, give me anything made of bean yer's de Hil neighbor wid the doctor gave him some ca il, f. Brown received $2 [Goodall’s Sun. i poem at the Boston Grant eu 4 wretty steép price, but boy, how do? prot een y 3 Fs It bef H fj much, Edit | er that it "| worth more than § ther per- son's poem—and perhay author would $100 to read a poem written by the | yyy [Norristown Herald. Go on away from here, you good-for- 1d Papa—“ Tm sorely puzzled what thing.” sion to select for my boy, He doesn’t aidy, Vl gin yer one mo’ chat I om to indicate any preference.” Visiting | likes ter ha nd neighbors whar eber I Have you consulted him about | libs, gwineter be rash erbout . Freddie, what trade would you en’ me dat dress ter wa'r ter de to leat Master Fred—"* Pap sin” Why *Go on away, T tell you. T won't lend a “Well, that’s a new idea. [never heard | ‘Cause when I grew up I'd get to be Sher- | dress. Do you think fd wear a dress after of puttin’ spittoons on the side o” the house | iff of the eity.”—[ Philadelphia Call, you had worn itz” before!” remarked an old countryman, us| Not long since a school ee “Fil gin you one mo? chance, fur ez I he walked up to our telephone transmitter nite iceechio yer Eneber is rash. Len’ me er dress, and made a bull’s-eye the first sho ty little Bovrceeil ive the, den aittel oT wants ter be er neighbor wid yer. Is {Palmer Journal. | the word ‘average? ked. For yer gwineter let me hab dat dress . It is well to be exact, although the belief | time no pred, but finally e] rite ee yeeen fore policema. ining be nied ‘90 far for the a h of a | puch best a nen , fur T kain git no satisfackshun onten young friend. A more or less poets a bichet J aA "se ig’ ‘ler erbou y don River Railroad. conductor. remarked, | Yea, air; my book ays 20; and aie trot oer ae Oey eid one ie tr pit good when asked the usual qu i Her wear- | ted up to her questioner and pointed to this 8, ean ag z $e ch iu spirit sank to res M315, railroad time | sentence in he reading boo be ghtors ee den: gereticed! -Nomy:twonie [Sho ather Reporter. every day otvan aren ‘The lady slammed the door. Mary Anderson brought over a lot of tur- | 5 Funny idea, 4 [Arkansaw Traveler. nips right from Anne Hathaway's garden at | pockets in night shirts.” — Stratford-on-Avon, to, introduce into her | Sn 4 MM aE ieee S, Sha JOUN HENRY IN DISGRAC werinoaehe alot of cabbage heads from the |wan2” de Well, you see, if you kept a| | You, dohn Menry,” suida Last street London theatres, to. support her. ‘Truly, | little change in the pocket and dreamed that | woman to her belated spouse, ** where have Mary's show can’ well be balled a’ theatrient | YOU Went into a barroom to get a drink you been, and what have you been doing? jled dinner. —[Peck’s Sun, would have the money to pay for it.” | * Been havin’ time. fi di : _ | (musingly)—“That’s ¢0.”—[Boston Courier, “Been having atime! Didn’t you know “A Dog mecting a Fox with a Hen in its that I was here alone? What's to prevent mouth acensed Reynard of Burglary, The |‘ How will that do?” said the new re-| burglars from breaking into the house and Fox, having his mouth full, did not. deign | porter to the city editor, as he handed in a| carrying off everything we've got, and not to reply; but, after having eaten his Sapper, | little jokelet on the falling leaves, “It is|amanon the premises? Been went around amongst the Friends of the | timely,” replied the unfeeling editor, as he | time, eh? You'll have Dog and reported that the latter wasa Pes- | threw the manuscript into the grate. WOULDN'T BE RASIL 1 lady. Jes’ wants tef ver’s de right sort 0” pusson, » PM neighbor wid yer. Lady, 1 gon my father justat presen 3 ¢ wants ter borrer er dress ter wa'r ter de fu- T thought vour father died lon he did, but'T have a new one— ihe ment pap.”—[Philadelphia Call. “ 1, Doctor,” said a bailie of a small | n to friend, ‘he maun hae an extraordinary man, that Shake- There are things hac come into his never would hae come into mine .—[ Exchange. having a nother time right here if you don’t take to getting home ear- comicbooks.com