Judge — November 21, 1885 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. THE JUDGE. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. (Usrrep Starrs asp Casapa.) Ws ap Le coples 10 cents each; THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY, 924, 326 and 328 Pearl St., NEW YORE RCT WE DISTINCTLY REFUDIATE ats. KEATON! IwevERY case, WHERE 4 Pick THE MAIDEN TRIBUTE TO TAMMANY. Every year there is an open contest be- tween savages for the possession of one fair maiden. This year it has resulted in her rape by the Tammany ‘Tribe, and for a twelve month those lustful, cruel sachems will have their will of her sweet body. It is her misfortune that she has the gift of perpetual rejuvenation; that though thus foully abducted and brutally rifled of her | charms, she remains fair and sweet. If she could grow able as the result of her continual defile- ment by these savages, there might be some hope of her ultimate release from their foul embrace. But, yearly growing more attrac- tive to their concupiscent gaze, she is the chief martyr of history.” “ The Niobe of Cities, there she stands!” WHAT IF THE MOON WERE BECLOUDED? It isa long, weary and perilous journey | that Uncle Sum has made, and his path has been strewn with rain and disaster; tomb- stones of buried fortunes and dead indns- tries were his mileposts. This was the result of contraction of the circulating medium and the steady shrink- age of values of all property in consequence of the reduction of business to the gold basis, The only thing that guided him on the road and kept him from utter destruction in the chasm was silver. whole currency of the country would have gard, repulsive and unenjoy- | | gotten into the grasp of that powerful syn- | dicate, the bankers of the Clearing Houses. | The government’s collusion with the banks to conform national finances to the | gold standard has wrought great distress by shrinkage, it is true; but this is as nothing tothe ruin that would have been wrought by putting the whole currency and specie of the country in the control of these men. We should have had a gold corner any time they chose to order it, and a perpetual Black Friday—or deliverance by popular disturb- ances and political revolution, Silver, a bi-metallic standard of value, a free coinage for the people and trade, a double and elastic basis for business have saved us from the crowning evils. And now it is said that acloud resembling the face of Cleveland threatens to bury sil- ver and darken the perilous path of the country! It will be a cold day for some one when that eclipse takes place. PICTORIAL PROPHETS GONE WRONG. “Young man,” said Josh Billings, ‘Don’t never tri to go into the profesyin bizness until after the thing happens.” ‘That is worldly wisdom. «Josh ” meant, of course, that you should postpone your prophesy in order to make it conform to the facts; not to oppose thei. A worse mistake than prophesying before the event, is to withhold publication of your prediction until after the event and then have it contradict the result. This is distressing. And a prediction-gone-wrong afterwards, when done in pictorial form, is worst of all. It is one of the disadvantages of pictorial arguments that they are so inflexible—you can’t deny them. Words are more manage- ble. An editor can swallow his own words, but the operation of deglatition on a fall- page cartoon is necessarily difficult and painful. The souls of the prophets protect us from perpetrating a cartoon that was made before election, has met its defeat at the polls, and can’t retire up Salt River with the rest of the minority! There is no place for it to hide save in the freak department of the dime museum. In the Beer Stage of Development. California, in her onward march towards civilization, is in the beer stage of develop- ment. The whiskey era has passed. The third act is about being opened by the sel- ling of native wines at 5 cents a glass. Na- | tive-wine booze has neither the dementia of whiskey nor the fat idiocy of beer, and as it will enable a man to forget his debts and | domestic infelicity very sataly and cheaply, at the price, the new era is likely to come a-whooping right along. The new dispen- sation will probably be @ success until the dispensers of it begin to make wine with more rats-bane in it than there was poison |in the mining-whiskey or railroad-beer, | vented. | RULINGS. Wovtp Nor acertain mugwump cartoon paper like to restore the status quo ante? Tue Mvawemps seem to be like small- pox—no party has ‘em for the second time, and for the first he is to be pitied. SoME OF THE PRESIDE: later ap- pointees are commended as ‘“ Democrats simon-pure-thorough party men.” — Look out for more stealing, then. Some PERSON says it would take 9,512 3 to count a billion. We don’t know of any one who has time to test this except the stool-holders in the N. Y. city departments. THINGS SEEM TO BE all going the way of the Democratic party. ‘The largest corn crop known in years is one of them. Corn makes whiskey, and whiskey makes Demo- crats. A Democratic paren defines Mug- wumps euphemistically as “men who had become dissatisfied with the Republican party.” ‘The whole South, then, was Mug- wamp from ’61—" i. THE MOST GRATIFYIN election is the reassurance that both sides cannot win. We had become thorougly con- vinced of the contrary from reading cam- paign papers and the figures of the sing committees on both sides. RESULT of the canvas- New YORK STATE PRISONS are becoming over populons with rich men and it is only a question of time that the state must erect another prison. Wall or Broad street would be a convenient and appropriate location. It is a remarkable fact that this great me- tropolis is without a state prison. THE GREATEST DEFECT thus far found in the civil service examinations is that the smart rascals pass and the stupid honest men are plucked. ‘The eystem needs an annex for either converting the eligibles into honest men, or giving the honest contestants brains; or both. Mr. ATKINSON, THE Boston figure-pres- tidigitateur, makes out that railroad build- ing is an unfailing index of the condition of trade and industry. We had supposed it to be an unfailing index of a willingness to bond the towns for twice the cost of the road and take ‘N. G. stock preferred ” for it. NEGROES ARE VERY ‘slow to learn the science of government. Hercules Wilson, colored, has resigned his seat in the Georgia Legislature, giving as his reason that he can make more money by laying brick at from $4 to 85 aday. No white man was But for that, the | and then some new tipple will have to be in- | ever known to make such a humiliating con- fession. comicbooks.com