Judge — November 14, 1885 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

netting. With another attempt at an apology I made an attempt to get on my feet, but, quick as ptning, a pair of parentheses chest-protector with ing me quickly to the There they lingered, one hundred and forty pour them, while all the other extremities in the room, my own excepted, 1a ring and cireled wildly about, guy: me the while unmercifully, and laugh- ing over my misfortune joke of a long anc for almanacs, liberty. jumped nimbly on my a * Hoop-la,” floor. s if it was the best nlarly good. season I begged for my noone but myself heeding my pa- lings. A man’s power of lung, let me tell you, is severely handicapped when he has a hundred and forty pounds of cory. phee perched on his wish-bone, and I be; to fear that only death would relieve me from my peinful position when a rough voice —was heard above the din’ of my y for the first act, ladies,” “ Good: darling,” said she whose charms had m Wan impression on my tender bosom, o the floor and run- Dye, amy,’ a bony pair of shanks exclaimed, fetching me a royal good kick in the short ribs and following their leader, “Olive ¢ dear boy,” said the next, a brace of guarled shanks whose perfectly ap- parent age would have commanded. th spect of any man and who: in the iborhood of my second would have brought tears of envy to eyes of a mugwump. And so on each pair, before skipping out, paid me the attention of bidding me some ort of farewell and bestowing on me a love tap more forcible than gentle. Farewells always always have been most painful to me, but, for a fi I never was 50 painfully affected by any parting in my life as by those with the ladies of Bill Board’s ballet. Ilow I got out of the place I never could tell, but I did finally gain the exit, my limbs paining like a tooth-ache and every breath a pitifal groan. ‘Thorongly dai limped out of the stage door and ran up inst my friends Cusby and Brown “Tall Lang,” Brown where the deuce have yon been since din- ner. W been looking for you everywhe We're going in to see the show, You'd better come along. The : better than ordinary, I believe, badly stuck on the ballet, you kr on the ballet!” [ejaculated t Scott! Boys, if you love me, never that word in my hearing again. Pat in a cab, my friends, and send me to the hotel.” I'm sick, Tsay, Of the balla, But you can bet You'll never get Me more to set These eyes of mine On the ballet And no one ever did. L. L, LANG. | quested not to fee the waiters.” THE JUDGE. Briefs Submitted. A Hubbab—A Boston boy. As a general thing, what'a man sews he rips. A Mr. Cain has been arrested in York for burglary. Blood will tell. “The man who fights and rans awa: prose, is the man who gets the lickin Look at your Uncle " think the old man can’t endure ff Moral philosophers seem to differ in their doctrines; but give ’em time. They will all tumble to the Ethics of the Dust, at last New best com- I that, Robert Robert Toombs lived in the all his life.” For al language. A correspondent asks who wr pen ism n the sw The pen wrote it, of course. The sword can’t write, and that’s where the pen has the bulge on the sword. At the Denver hotels ‘“ “The rests, hungry traveler will do itall the The guest who has not feed the waiter, learns that the waiter 1 not feed the guest. “Bi convicts in the Georgia Probably they fear being urged. Georgia women biding their time can make outdoor life a terror. Philadelphia girls are learning to play the violin, Probably they will ‘tire of it when they thoroughly realize that it is an art which permits the performer to handle the bow with but one arm. Ile received the trust funds; ¢: curity; paid the interest} when the trust expired hi thing clean and sq cial circles he triechap, Brown, ding enterprisers to have failed to improve his profane of life now relieved, reposes the friet He was not orth the schemer; ved She never wet her whist On a Doctor, Te who gave the quietus to so many men Is now Jaid away on t ° He might have lived on u Had he never prescribed On an Unhappy Lo As bis heart had not known a Till the unlucky moment he He might have been happy again, Had he lived on and learned to forget her. On a Theatrical Manager. Here lies a man who put to the blush The whims of his fanciful Hit that he w a full house. flush, 2.4, o'cosseL, | Wealth Makes Wisdom. <o, it’s like wirtuous, My in one time he keep a Iunch house not pan-box, di damaged h t liberal degrity get him nossings nd by hones’ ine ig name and a pile like that Wandergoolds, as now the re- porters want to know what his obinions on our next bresident, and dose St. Louis | strike. ole Creele: de artic rechion. A GRACELE. Rev. Mr. Peawe something before I eat. Nepues (exnita such cooking y—"0, T know! (about to say grace YOUNGS )J—“ Wait, my dear nephew; generally say You are going to say just what father does— comicbooks.com