Judge — October 31, 1885 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

With a f And while we had ad We never wrote ublime; lar lef a line And when, with some kind editor's aid, Within thi Weds Asw garden here Hirt with the pretty barmaid rer beer Hemian days— Bat, after all, it never pays To tritle with the heart And now that 1 Why do That T shouted For a bit of ta wife, chide ine s ha life ve up st I do not love this girl, my boy, However Ani while it gives me little I would not yet be free And though she m model s] Tl have no. to sigh, F her mother keeps a And that's the rea: vrarding-house— why! 3. a. o'0: seu Saranac; or, Leaves from a Fisherman's Diary. Acoust 24ru.—Went fishing in the fore- noon and ¢ t several salt mackerel. In the afternoon I received several commun, tions about post-oflices and foreign missions; and nsed the MSS. in chinking cracks in the skiff. Acoust 25tT1.—Canght a fish that looked like an over: ntad-pole, It was equipped with sharp, offensive weapons on its head that ought to make it very formidable in fierce, side-long char, ‘The boy that ¢ ried the worm-gourd for us called it a “ cat- fish.” Acoust fishi at break. 'T f trouser inst anail in the stern of the skiff. Lost a sus- penier-button and substituted a ten-penny nail. In the ev ¢ 1 climbed a tree after a bird's nest. ree broke down and owner of the ground insisted on remuneration, Ave Spent a busy night sus- pending offensive ticks, Woke up with arid 3 and unstrun Worms hard to fin Lost another button in swin: ing the grubbing-hoe. Utilized arake tooth, One member of our party imagined that he had been bitten by a snake during the night. He applied a spirituous remedy and remaine in bed all da Avaust 28ti.—Tor “Juck the Giant-Killer,” Boots” all da is cattle king offerin fat calf, Declined melon at sun-sct. neighborhood had st the camp. weak toddy. Avevst 29rH.—Woke up and found sev- eral frogs in bed. Drank a enp of coffee. Found a lot of dead flies in the sug: bottom of thecup. Had good luck. nine-hundred fish before dinner. weight five pounda. Avoust 30TH.—Canght five hundred fish before breakfast. Caught shark in the afternoon. ‘Took a walk at night and killed a deer with a rock. Avoust 31st.—Got up and weighed before breakfast. Weighed again after breakfast. Fattened four pounds while eating. Friends attributed it to the bracing atmosphere. G. C. iT. —W day- holiday, Read and“ Puss-in- ved a letter from a a birth-day present of a water- tod in the all the bread from ‘Took supper on fried fish and THE JUDGE. JUMPING TO A CONCLUSION, Words, Words. What is the use of a dictionary, anyway ‘The meaning of a word depends altogether on where you are. For instance: the wont “* Good A good man in New York means one whose bank-account is never over-drawn; who stands in with the mercantile reporters on his rating. In St. Louis a good man one who always holds a flush in an emergen- ey. In Louisville, a good man is one. who goes under the table last. In Cincinnati a good man means simply alarge pork-packer In Washington. one who is always in, whieh ever party is out. — In Boston, one who has either had an article accepted in the Allan tic Monthly, or been on a drunk with John L. Sullivan. In ‘Texas a good man_ is one on whom no other fellow gets the drop. In Harvard and Yale, a good man’s a successful rusher, In Chicago a good man—we there are n't any, ‘They don’t use the word. A tel named aphic item sta nn, who was es that a om. once a millionaire, house down south, seems, had lost its recently died in a poor This particular gun, it barrel. Briefs Submitted. * Man wants but little here below,” Because he knows, He'll waste his When little’s you bet, «in wanti all bell get! much That's a terrible c of mal-aria,” as ving physician said on listening 6 Signor Tenori-Robusto’s shaky singing of h opera tion. Ere this, o'er all our wide domain so glorious and free F Ta tain high to vally low—from inland lake to sea From broad and open prairie to the swamps with al Drake Chie Has clanged the base-ball toesin,® * go takes the cake! mitherkins calls the entrance to oun his Dul front yard ** Hel cause he met her old man there the other night and experienced a wrathfal explo- sion a's ‘The parents were discussing the relative merits of their church's old and new pastor at the Sunday dinner-table, after listening to the latter's first sermon He—** I believe [like Whitney the best, after all. ‘The new man pitches in to the z much, W husband, you must son's delivery 18 very fine sudden interruption by youthful thusiast on base-ball)—Oh, pshaw! ~Whit- ney and Clarkson’s n. g., both of ‘em. You delivery! admit Son (en- ought to see Micky Welch’ My, but can’t he pitch in the lally-coolers with the curves on ‘em, though, and didn’t the w Yorks win their series with both the Bostons and Chicagoes, with him in the box?” Alexander Fitzgerald McGregor DeMash, Wedded Rosamond Genevieve Maud ( Both married for c But ye gods what a crash When they learned that neither'd a cent to buy bash! adash; GOING ONE BETTER. “ Children should be seen, not heard,” times they are too retiring but so 1 undemonstrative. Two of a Kind. ‘The conductor was a big, burly Scot man with a dialect broader than himself; and the passengers smiled audibly as he cried ou « Tuckets, gentlemen, tuckets!” As the train drew up ata small way-sta- tion, he opened the door as he stepped out onto the platform. ‘The train had Iwen flagged by an anglicized dude. He liad been shooting and carried a pair of wild rabbits slung over his gun. “ Wewhut lack, my mon?” good-natured conductor. “Aw, only a couple of “ares, you know,” condescendingly replied the dude. “ Wewhut? “ Only a conple of ’ares.” “Ares? Why, down this way we ca’ them rub-bots! accosted the J. 5. O'CONNEL! comicbooks.com