Judge — October 24, 1885 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

i f | ee SY out, too. THE JUDGE. PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK, TERMS TO. CRIBERS, One copy. one year, oF 52 ny THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY, 824, 326 and 328 Pearl St, NEW YORK ~ 10 CORRESPONDENTS AND CONTRIBUTORS. “A Cl'arin’-up Time.” It seems to be what Aunt Chloe called “a general cla’rin’-up time” in politics, It was incredible that men could be so blind h confidence in their own exceeding pur- ity as to suppose that they could make the slimy-green cesspool of Democracy pure and and pellucid by simply their own clean persons in it, This sort of reversal of Naaman’s cure of leprosy by bathing in the Jordan is one of the impossible miracles. They found it so, ‘They not only did not cleanse Democracy any, but they got them- defiled and their clean Republican garments nearly ruined. Noth- ing sort of aswim in Republican principles and arubbing down with real reform soap (no lie in it) will set them right. As for their clothes, they will need new suits throughout. Those they have worn are past cleansing. Even the sag-tag and bob-tail of Democracy would not wear them, dippir The Mugwamps manifest their plecsure at getting back to the right side by taking hold to help about the chores at home. They haven't even intimated a preference for veal and they are ‘doing work meat for repentance.” be gone long, anyway; they ‘ca’culated ” to come back after they had seen the Demo- cratic clephant. Now that ‘they’ve had a time of it,” they will pitch in and make up | coal. | man nature in man and Mugwump, still. | and they have to hant a good deal for buy Indeed, they say they did not intend to | THE JUDGE. for lost time getting in the winter's stock of Well, boys will be boys. Some of us old Republicans quit the Whig family and staid Some of us went off on a spree with Horace in "72—the wildest scrape that Republican lad ever went into, It’s hu- man nature to get tired of being decent, oc- casionally, and has been ever since Adam performed ** Over the Garden Wall” so dis- strously. ‘There's a trace of our savage an- 1 of hu- cestry in the best of us, a gooddea RULINGS. Ir tir Democratic party is solid for Ilill why is it hollowing out so much? Wuat LIne OF work will the artistic liars of the daily press take up after the 3d proximo, CLEVELAND oveut To get his party down and sit on it until it can be vaccinated for reform. THE ADMINISTRATION is supposed to take the oath of allegiance—to the Democratic party—every morning. A Democratic POLITICIAN having “ Lis ward in chancery.” as bad for the “ Jarndyce.” boasts of Tt will be ard as it was for those in Tue Rerenercan canpipate in Vir- ginia refused to fight a duel but the Demo- cratic leaders seem bored by him, neverthe- iT Tune 18 No mistaking the fact that “Jumbo” is dead, The lish pa are short of heavy enough subjects for torials. A Hipernran paper declares that “the cause of Irish Independence can never be lowered.” Ah, but its leaders can be hired, can’t they? WHILE THE ADMINISTRATION i3 on the watch for timber frauds in the Northwest, it might go a little slower on appointing block-heads everywhere. A New Yors Demonatie paper says that “Davenport isstuck up.” We expected this, New York mud is very sticky, and these organs know how to throw it. We pon’? BrLreve that Ben Butler said the voters of Massachusetts will sell their votes for 85. They can’t get more than $2. ers at that, Democratic COUNTRY PAPERS seem ut- terly oblivions to the fact that they are ad- vertising Jones-of-Binghamton’s scalce gratis all this time. tising. Oct or THE 408 convicts in the Minnesota Penitentiary, just one is a Republican—the only member of the party who passed the Democratic style of civil service examination in that state, THE SILVER AND GoLD plank in the | Democratic platform is the only thing that looks like planking down the money in the canvas. ‘The moneybags shell out as badly as superannuated clams, VIRGINIA HASN'T § blood since the on EN so much fun and das during this The Old Dominion must be ruled by gentlemen, begad, if they punch out the eyes of every man who votes against them, campaign, Wues 1s Ginns’ city investigation com- mittee going to begin on the bunce and saw-dust exc! es and the stock and pe- troleam dens? The produce exchange is not a bit worse than the panel-dives. No favoritism, gentlemen! ENGLISH IRON-CLADS are to be hereafter coated with India rubber. It is queer no one ever before thought of putting goloshes on things that are out in the wet so much, We commend the rubber over-coat to Secre- tary Whitney for the new navy he is to con- struct. AN onGAN frantically calls on everyoody to “turn out for Hill.” Good advice, as it no further aroand a Hill than over it. Wise men always turn out for any offensive object. The trouble with the ‘very hungry and very thirsty” in New York is that the president does not ‘‘turn out for Hill” enough Republicans, De Prerota, ex-dictator of Peru, has been banished four times. When a South American statesman is banished he goes into the back districts and starts a little govern- ment and a revolution of hisown. Whena North American statesman is ordered to “git” by his fellow sovercigns he joins the lobby, gocs to practising law or enters the stock exchange or in some other way gets rich and revenge on his banishers at the same time. Botany Bay Del Norde. Indiana has a thriving colony in Canada of ex-school directors. The first eleven— All Indiana’s eleven—took with them about $50,000 apiece to insure the success of the settlement. If this thrives more will prob- ably follow. It is to be hoped that the emi- gration of her yeomanry will stop before it gets down to the Democratic voters who sold their votes to the Republicans at #2— crisp new greenbacks—apiece. Some one ought to remain in the state to do the chore.s comicbooks.com