Judge — October 3, 1885 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“THE WICKED PLEA WHEN NO MAN PURSUETH, 1. EDGAK JONES. Prin bout from place to place, of syt . void of fear; hopy Ob, the flea, the beautiful fleat Skippin Packa: Void of uppis and air is he! metry form lu Freedom's atmosphere Ob, the flea the scallawag tleat Standing erect on the ruftian’ Nestliz no respecter of j nose rsons is he; in maiden’s silken hose, Ob, the tlea, the ticklesome fl and ne'er a sprain, Stimulant cause of words profar Biter of bites, r who are th ims of his will, Oh, the th hours of darkness he! Nibbling al pes and the just Ob, the tlea, irrepres Ki Stirrin: UI the pirates he, SADLY Lavy prom Tstenio J ever seed snow ‘Wall, 1 OLD fust time declare, this be ther shoes.” Our Little Folks’ Post-Office. CONDUCTED HY AUNT JANE. Dear Citupre ‘ou have missed me for some time, have Keeping the lazy one ay Ob, the tlea, the lucky Arched with iron hi Warranted neither t After an hour's long battle fou: . Who ever killed the one he caught? Ob, the flea, the merc Laughing a mocker of all creation het cares Chucklin tmanly digs and swear as did his savage sires, dagger tipped Oh, the flea, th Glot Type of impartial p ible courage packed, rarely cuptured 1k ed, lispens Irrepress d never cracked, Oh, the flea, the Making lively th Boldly bitin Were all active and brave as thee nus flea; cheapest luxury made the Pope of Rome p, then would be lively ti A “GOOD SAMARITAN” NOT APPRECIATED. bottle of and receive your sight.” me fur wurk oi'll caress yo wid Bio Mepicrne (the only, Nature's remedy, ‘ Herbs of Sunflower, Bu tT“ An soul yer be after meself ouwit of er job? Cum nare me, me club!” original, ete.) —“Take one wantin’ an’ | you? You want me to explain the cause of my absense, do you? ‘Ah, if you have pondered over this came subject as I have, you | would hesitate ere dragging it forth once more. If you grow to become nice little men and prematurely aged women, “and “become of u shrill, relentless desire to write for the press, you will ayecdily find out why your Auntie hasn't greeted you as of old. ‘There are blasted hopes as well as returned agonies of the mind col- lect two, four or six cents postage. Do you tw You Let us fervently hope that there will be no’ more discouraging pull- backs to your Auntie rary promises, It _grieves your dear Auntie when she can’t appear before you. It is worth ten dollars to her every time she gets there, my little loves. Would you tum- ble if an empire, one of the mossy, effete empires should’ drop on you? “Twill now give you a very few choice, bon mots, yanked from the chaotic depths of infantine cerebral acumens, with few re- minders from yours to invite next summer thrown in free of cost with ten cents additional for ahobby-horse in Tue JupGe’s merry -round, chi pt. 10th, 1885, Dear Aunt JaNE:—I am in sorrow. Flossie is dead. ‘The little, cold nose will no more rub against my cheek and thrill any part with bli taken with a fit of indigestion last week. y before yesterday she had a severe chill, caused by wearing a ace bow instead of the maroon velvet. A naughty, naughty, ve her dog-button instead of extract of catnip. Even Georgie cannot console me. MATHILDE, Poor Mathilde. Iam sorry for Georgie. There are as good fish in the sca as ever were lied about. Please send me the address of the nau . New York is just yearning for a man of his calibre. We are pest-ridden with pet dog My hesrt in broke. Saratoga, Sept. 12, °85. Dream Avunt Jane:—Distwessed am I to wite you about my twouble, I’m bwoke. Burry’s occupation’s gone. I'm sold out and my valet gone and give away that howid affawair about my gar- ments on the bushelman’s peg—viz: I didn’t have the venty cents | Nem, What shall I do? W. ALL. + Barry, You're in a bad situation, — Now, if you’d only followed a jack plane with the same degree of eclaf that you did ish, you know, you could now smile to scorn the petty ments of adversity. If you had pulled as many iron rails through the rolling mill as you have pants over yoar bunions, you could ha, ha! in a sardonic manner at your woes. — Again, ou had been more of a bread winner and less of a honey-sucke: vou wouldn't go about now shorn of your fleece, with the mercury heading down hill. Barry, I cannot advise you. You might turn uple of libraries, get some gray matter to swell out your hat-band and quit monkeying with sunshine. Sanshine’s good; but | it takes a man who works in the dark to fully appreciate it. Slippery Elm, Mass., Sept. 15 —We've got a pitcher who struck out twen He’s a phenomenon. What shall we do with him? ? ARCHILL, Manager Buz Bugs, Put a stone quarry upon his remains. Dear Aunt Ja ty-seven men. Archie:—Plant_ him. Phenomenons are failures. KEL comicbooks.com