Judge — September 26, 1885 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

of the winder and slid down on the roof of the woodshed and escaped. ‘Then Mrs. otiphar got on her ear an’ went to the po- lice station and made a complaint against him for breaking out of the house, and had him arrested nd shut up in Ludlow street prison, you mean——” he continued, ** I meanin prison, un’ then Joe sick of the whole business, but finely one of the other fellers dremp something and Joe told him what it meant, and, sure enough, it came to pass. Then the king dremp something, and none of them fellers that tells what dreams mean, I guess, or something or ** Sooth-sayers,” I suggested. “Yes, I guess so—anyhow there couldn’t none on ’em tell the king what his dream was about. So then one of the prisoners that Joe told his dream to, got let out, an’ he told the king what kind of a hair-pin Joe was, and so the king got Joe to tell him his dream, and it come to pass, an’ the king took Joe out of prison an’ raised his wages and made a big Mug: | wump of him, an’ then his brudders all came to see him and the old_ man he came, an’ they all stayed there and lived in peace an’ died in a pot of gre: Just then the superintendent rung his bell, and all the children opened their hymn books, Two of my bad boys, how- ever, to vary the ceremonies, I suppose, took a comic song book highly ornamented with colored pictures, out of their pockets, and while the rest of the school were singing that beautiful hymn:— “Yes, we will gather at the river, ‘The beautiful, beautiful river. these bad boys sung:— “ Over the garden wall The prettiest girl of all——" “ Boys!” said I, that ut once!” They stopped it, though rather reluct- antly, and Porerheard one of them saying to the other:— | “He's awful fresh.” Talk about your ‘* Bad Boy.” of them on my hands all at’ once. It’ was too much, I stood it through one Sunday, and then I sent in my resignation. I’m no shoat. When I've had all I want of any thing I'm. satis! Boys are useful in their way, but if these fellows really mean it when they sing ‘I want to be an angel,” the sooner they can have their wish the better for the unfortunate Sunday school teachers. ‘Then they can’t grow up to be bank defaulters, anyway. Your: EPHRAIM MUGGIN “this won’t do. Stop Thad six | Kansas City 1s greedily grasping after | the distinction of killing the most hogs of any city inthe country. New York's dis tinction of letting more of them live in her | borders in honor and luxury is still undis puted. | Dan Mannina says ‘the Grand Army | of the Republic be damned.” — Vanderbilt says, ‘The public be damned.” — It only remains for Jeff. Davis to pronounce “ The whole human family be damned,” and we'll all prepare for the grand goat-and sheep- separation act. THE JUDGE. OFF THE BENCH MINSTREL suiows May have played out because of being badly riddled. A PROUIBITION discuss the drink?” PAPER wastes space to Why do husbands question, * Ir wasn’t so much of a blunder when | the country paperme Je up its society gossip under the head “ A SERIOUS EXCHANGE humor is decaying. American ems to says And the s, e. like the occupation of dilatory body-snatch- erto A. h. SEVERAL OTHER PHILADELPHIA newspa- pers boast, like sports, that they “beat the Record.” But, then, almost any paper could do that, Parson Neways has gone to San Fran- cisco. ‘This is a more Pacific slope than he made when he withdrew from the gational row in this city. Congre- Ir is ascentTaiNeD that there is one in- sane person to every 550 in this country, No one, has been rash enough to compute the proportion of fools. as yet, THEY BoAST OF real estate eastern cities. But Washi had more buildings going up at one time this year than any city. Several other wes- tern villages in the track of eyclones have made a good second to this record. activity in on C. IL, 0. 5 The painctpan inpustries of Milwau- kee and St. Paul are to take lo censuses and magnify the same, with secondary scorn and derision of each other’s mathen tics. | ms THE PAPER STARTED in Kansas, called The Future, is not devoted to religion, as you might surmise, but to the weather, There will probably be too cold a day for it soon. | St. Lovis sournatiss is in an undevel- oped sta indeed when it pays good money to Maxwell, the murderer, to write his own | confessions. They necd come Herald report- ers. A DRAMATIC PAPER says that a private theatrical rehearsal is a good place to test the umiability of women and select a wife. Even if a girl is quarrelsome we presume it will appear there whether she would make lup well. ‘Tue cow-noy as been rather a pictu- resque character—from_ this perspective— but he has now threatened ing and dangerous. to play the prino. become revolt- Ose of them has learned | Go In, Jeremiah! | a | ‘There are fresh heavy shipments of gold hither from England. It is time now f New York bankers and editors, U.S. Tr | urer Jordan and all the rest of the mo secres to get on their tripods prophesy (that ‘silver will drive gold out of the country.” They have been doing that for the past seven y | cireumsta ars under like discouraging A DOG First Boy— Boy on Thr Frxee—* WATCH, “TT can't reach it, you had beller jump over.’ Well, T guess 1'U wail until 1 see crape on thal dog house comicbooks.com