Judge — September 26, 1885 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

eae eat ( THE MIDNIGHT MUSE. ‘The hour is late, the night is cerie, But I see the poet by the light That flashes out from his attic dreary, Wrestling there with a fancy-tlight, comes to the casement; his thoughts in session T at Orion perchance add: Who, like a vast toreh-light proce Wheels way down in the windy West. T see from his He revels in a river of rhyme; And I knew that his soul is saili The fence of space to some brighter clime! he is just in clover; But bark!—that din throug A band-organ surely by lightning A band of mules their trombones uplifting, Or a mighty fog-horn rnnning a-muck! It fractures the sky with its flendish quaver; ‘The hills ring, and the starry crowd Strike sparks with ire, while the moon less brave, ber Face hides under a passing cloud —Only two gentlemen-kitteas, singing, eon the fence below —Only the sad, see On the same old anthem of long-ago! . . . . . Through the window,(1 saw him throw ‘em,) He hurled with all the might of his thews, His bed, his table, his pitcher, his poem— An invocation to the mews! THOS, W, TRESIDER, Drops from the War-Cloud. According to report the Caroline Islands include all kinds of government from a lim- ited monarchy down toan unlimited anarchy. Wonderful stories have been taught about the Spanish Main; it now remains to hear about Spanish might. The 5, let loose yet, although they are growling fiercely. If they only had a great navy, like ours, they might send a few barks after the rmang; bat, as it is, they will probably end as they began, with a Yap. It has been rumored that Bismarck has been contemplating the seizure of Cuba. “Go West,” may be good advice to give a sober-minded young man; but an old fellow of Bismarck’s fermenting nature had better stay in the yEast. ‘The Eastern war-clond is as ubiquitousand versatile as—well, as Ben Butler. It never passes entirely from sight, and seldom shows up twice in the same place. It as much a necessity to the sober columns of a Yankee newspaper as the mother-in-law and the plumber are to the humorous. _ Its principal use is in regulating the American produce market. As the cloud thickens, bread goes up, notwithstanding we are all engaged in putting it down, Suddenly bread falls; but not necessarily on account of the cloud— perhaps the bread was heavy. We have heard so much about the cloud that it seems rather dry; but it really indicates a rain— the reign’ of grasping and unprincipled rulers, To ‘ wait till the clouds roll b: would be more tedious than waiting for commutation hour on the elevated road. The cloud will not “ pass by” till it expends itself in one final and much-needed rain— the reign of the common people and com- mon sense, ROBT, MORGAN, nish “dogs of war” haver’t been | THE JUDGE. Briefs Submitted. “Why did he leave so abruptly?” Per- aps he left bankruptly. The burden of song is what makes the waste-basket tired. When Belgium’s capital gathered her beauty and her chivalry to make a night of it, of course, she guthered them on Bras- sel’s carpe “Young man, never say ‘die’ Cer- tainly not, young man. Unless you are on extremely intimate terms with the family, always call her Diana. . Higgins, as an appointment clerk, may be a failure; as a disappointment clerk, some rejected Democrats swear that he is | an outrageous success. MACHOWLY. Ill Effects of Example. Tue Jewish Messenger deplores the de- cay of the use of Hebrew among Jews and teaching their children the mother tongue. exclusion of the study of English from all our schools and coll ny tongue but rs your own seems to be the rule of cducation. Tue cincv’s being overtaken by a cyclone tind outside of a city trial court. A MAN HAS INVENTED & power sewing- machine attachment to relieve women of | the labor of working the treadle. It will if it can be hitched to a woman’s person to relieve her of the labor of ‘treading the mazy,” as Dick Swiviler calls it. Sewing girls can’t afford it; society girls who have to tread air all night need it. Sue (gushingly)—“ If I should throw you do?” soundly berates Israclitish parents for not This decadence and neglect are probably the | result of the bad example afforded by the | | in Ohio developed a good deal of laytent | genius—for swearing; more than you could | A True Critic. « Have you any suggestions to make?” I asked my friend, as he returned the advance sheets of my new book entitled Tho Sci- tific Causes why there are no Cats in Kamtschatka? ” “Only one,” he replied modestly Throughout your book, there is a singular instance of the use of the plural number in- stead of the singular.” “What is that?” I asked, eagerly. “You constantly epeak ‘of “my gentle readers,’ ‘ my attentive readers,’ ” “What is the error: “You refer, 1 suppose, to the proof ader? there is never more than one.” Proof fiddlesticks,” I cried angrily. ‘I refer to the readers of my book after it is published.” WASHBURN, We'd Thought So. Miss Jenikens—‘‘I_ thought Mrs. Gilly- flower a widow?” Miss Jackson—** So she i Miss Jenikens—‘* Why does she dress so ay then? Where are her weeds?” Miss Jackson—‘ Oh, she ain’t none of your weed widow's; she’s only a grass widow.” Truth’s Altar. Yesterday a score of ladies were kneel- ing at a prayer meeting at Trinity Chapel A gentleman in the rear whispered audibly 1 You have lost your hair.” At once twenty jeweled hands were placed on the ' back of twenty heads, each of which was covered with thick tresses. The gentleman sighed, for he was in love with one of the ladies, and had employed this stratagem to learn a sad truth, SPOILING THE ROM-z- myself into the water, Clarence, what would |” Hx (decidedly)—“ J would instantly call for help!” comicbooks.com