Judge — September 19, 1885 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Briefs Submitted. by wiLLias wast A correspondent of one of our pa- pers, writing of the terrible poverty of | a Russian village, adds as climax: ‘* Last month elev- en persons actually died without the assistance of a phy- sician.” One can judge from this of the dogged persist- ence and obsti- nacy of the Rus- | sian character. “1 tell you,” | said Hanly, “ that a man who can support his family in these days, is a genius.” “Aman, my dear fellow, who can make _ his family support him isa much greater genius.” “Can't. you do something for me?” asked a stal- wart beggar, thrusting his head intoa doctor's win- dow. ‘Not while _—. | you are alive,” an- . | 8wered the doctor, | taking up a lon; knife with a plea ant smile.‘ But Ithink I can dis- THE JOY OF THE RETURNED. Now sinks the golden sun below the bar,— Roseate horizon glimm’ring in the west; Now wends the weary boarder homeward far, Beyond all tantalizing or molest. No more the rural egg in pan of grease Three times per day will tempt his appetite; No more in friendly tree he'll seck release From bovine gentleman in rapid flight. ‘The city lights afar they beckon him ike some soft traces of delightful cheer, While, faint upon his tym-pa-num’s brim Falls the sweet gurgle of the lager beer The meadow grass, it is deluston’s snare— Plenty of pesky ants and striped snakes: B.—No passage o'er this thoroughfare, ” udely at every hand your vision wakes, ‘The hired girl was very wroth indeed, ‘The hired man more wroth, alas! was he; In fisticuffs he made your nostrils bleed, Because, alack! you tried to flirt with she. Surrounded now by comforts of sweet home —Mine is the quiet of the bach lor hall— When once you're there you'll swear you'll never roam To rural landlord with effusive gall. We eee pose of you to ad- 6 [Fliegende Blactter. vantage, if you will first let me put you into marketable shape. (Exit tramp.) “T say, Jack, don’t you think our land- lady has a fine figure?” ‘It’s a little too large for me.” ‘Too large? nonsense! why, she’s petite; she’s a fairy.” ‘* blowed. She figures me out fifty dollars in her debt; there’s nothing petite about that | in these times.” “« My dear shur,” said a gentleman, stop- ping me this morning on Broadway.“ Can you direct me to the nigger-bunker build- ing?” *T have heard of Mossbunkers, my good friend,” I replied, ‘« but I never heard of niggerbunkers.” ‘* Tisn’t_ mossbunker. It is Nigger-bunker, Niggerbunker Ice Company.” “Oh! Knickerbocker Ice Com- pany: it’s office lies in that direction.” Orricers or the Chili navy talk a great deal about the anticipated ti when they may sack San Francisco. ‘They'd better be about itif they expect much Joot; Claus | Spreckels and the Pacific R. R. ring are al- ready in there. A drummer writing to a Western paper wants to know whether “hotel keepers can- | not be induced to raise the standard of beefsteak.” Hardly induced; but they may be frightened into it if the army of drum- mers will raise the standard of rebellion. ° ‘airy be | A Growing Town. Last night I was on the deck of the Hart- ford boat in the Sound. A large, well-lighted steamer at some distance was running paral- lel to us and looked as though it were sta- ‘A passenger near me was talking to his bride, and asking questions of the watchman. “« What is that?” he said, pointing tothe steamer. “That's the City of Boston,” answered the watchman, “Well, I vum, Sal,” said the man, turn- ing to his wife. "“I'went through Boston twenty years ago, when I left Bangor to go West, and I’d no idee that it would ever grow to be so big a place.” WILLIAM WASHBURN, A certain writer writes that “the way to write what will not go out of fashion is to write sincerely,” which also, we believe, is the way to write what has not yet come into fashion. CarpinaL Newman, tho head of the Roman Catholic Church in England, has a brother, Prof. Francis W. Newman, who is & pronounced agnostic. Parson Newman, of the United States, 0 relation of the other two, but he combines the peculiarties of both. Like the professor, he knows nothing, and like the Cardinal he believes he knows it all. comicbooks.com