Judge — September 12, 1885 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK, TFRMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. Axo Casapa) or 8 numbers, oples 1 cents each; THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY, 824, 326 and 328 Pearl St., NEW YORK TO CORRESPONDENTS AND CONTRIBUTORS. f7-Connesrospests wit EXD Sea To THIS OFT se TAKE NOTICE THAT THEY QUEST CLAIM FOR REXCNERATION WILL A FART OSLY OF coNTRIRETIONS Wrene 7 oPART WILL ME 1M FRO RATA ON THE FRICKE AGREED CFON FOR THE WHOLE ONCE MORE INTO THE BREACH. A personal Devil is an encouraging, cheer- ful institution. Men rather need to flatter their depravity by imagining that there is a monster who is responsible for most of their sins—a diabolical slugger, so to speak—who has superinhuman knocking-out powers. But the human heart is above all things fearfully and desperately lazy, as well as wicked—and so men hire some one to do devil-fighting for them. Though they pro- fess to believe ‘resist the Devil he will flee from you,” they would a little rather some- one else should do the resisting and take the dust of the ‘wicked flee whom no man pursueth.” Of course, while the champions of right- eousness are off for an outing, men have no defenders, and Satan has his way, because they have not been taught to resist him for themselves. ‘The svstem breeds moral cow- | ards and sneaks; makes churches spiritual hospitals and infirmaries, and ministers moral dry-nurses to their parishioners. And if one of these keepers of the fold goes | wrong, his whole system collapses. But in| the present undeveloped state of man’s re- | ligious nature this babe-and-suckling system | seems necessary. Therefore, it is with a sense of relief on behalf of the poor victims of Satan that we see the clergy returning, invigorated, to the | fray. Of course, we know that they can’t THE JUDGE. whip; that abont the time they get Satan “in chancery” the Almighty will come to his deliverance and set him on his divinely appointed roving mission again. But, just the same, we admire pluck—in others—and clap for the clerical party. May they punch more of him than he does of them! | But there are plenty of people who do not fear his Satanic Majesty, if they believe in his existence. One of the most unterrifiable of this class are those who make a profession of religion “for revenue only.” The metamorphosis of the camp meeting from a genuine, if crude, religious service | | to a speculation, is evidence that this class of offensive sectarians has greatly increased. ‘Take such a sanctified real-estate specula- tion as Ocean Grove, or Asbury Park, and compare it with the simple, unselfish camp- meeting of the past generation, if you want to realize the necessity of some one to again make a scourge of small cords and go through the temples of worship to drive out “*those who sell doves and the changers of money sitting.” TURNING RASCALS OUT AND IN. Nothing so plainly marks the zeal and and honesty of the present administration’s civil service reform as its energy in turning out rascals. Other executives have done considerable in turning ’em out, it is true; but no president before Cleveland has fol- lowed up such delivery by vigorously and relentlessly shutting up the rascals in suita- ble places of confinement. It is this last that is the peculiar feature of the new Demo- cratic regime ; it is, indeed, distinctively the Cleveland Civil Service Reform. There was C. P. Judd, of Denver, Col.,— a five-times horse-thief, upon his own con- fession. He has been seized by the admin- istration and securely jailed in the office of agent of the government Labor Bureau for Colorado, Montana and adjoining territo- ries. In addition to stealing horses, for which he has served several terms in jail, he is one of the large number of Democrats who were ‘first to nominate Grover Cleveland for president.” The latter is quite justified in shunting the rascal into the office. Then there is J. F. Pyne, of Vinton, Ben- ton Co., Iowa, who was in jail for defrand- ing the U. S. Pension Bureau. his rascal has been turned ont and securely incarcer- ated in the Vinton Post Office, there to Pyne for four years. As he signs himself ‘4 Before-Christ Democrat,” all will admit | that his punishment is no greater than he deserves. Then there was the peculiar case of Mr. | Dunton, of Central Lincolnville, Me. ‘The president turned him into the post-office there before turning him out of jail, euch was the executive's holy zeal for reform, This rascal was turned into the jail for rob- | bing the same post-office while its deputy; | what he was turned into office for is the greater sin of being a Democrat. Served him right! It must have been to make up for this turning a rascal in before he was turned out that the administration turned another Dem- ocratic rascal in who had been out of jail all | the time. Mr. Saint, of Newcastle, Ind., paid his fine upon conviction of violating the pension laws, and so escaped jail; but the eye of the ex-sheriff was on him, and he 3 haled to the office of Special Pension Examiner, After this executive recognition | we can easily believe that “the devil a Saint would be. Mr. Kinion, recently sentenced to the post office at Valley Falls, R. 1, is now out of harm's He has been in the clutches of Rhode Island law nine times within the last three months. A man with this record and who, besides, persists in being a Demo- crat in Rhode Island, is undoubtedly a rascal richly deserving of the essentially-executive severity of a Post-office. Then there is Dr. Hire, of Louisiana, re- cently bundled neck-and-crop into the office of the U.S. Examining Surgeon. ‘This ras- cal is under indictment for frauds upon the government. Our energetic executive, fear- ing he might escape on the trial, has turned him in as stated. Democracy is worthy of its Hire. Richard Board, of Kentucky, was a bad rascal—under three indictments for forgery, three times arrested in Cincinnati for fraud, once for robbery in Texas and twice for lar- ceny in Kentucky. His rich father had become bankrupt by trying to keep him out of prison. The administration came to the rescue and sent Richard aboard United States postal cars, and as he immediately began to rob the mails, the administration now has him in jail for Civil Service Reform. It is said that Mr. Cleveland is a good deal Bored by this case. The list is long of rascals turned in. There were the four gin-mill keepers and the indicted slugger, in Massachusetts, in- continently shut up in Postal Railway cars, etc., etc. Ifthe Department of Justice is keeping all these rascals’ portraits it will soon have an extensive executive rogues’ gullery. A PENSION AGENT in Louisiana has been arrested for malfeasance of office. The reform administration was saved from pro- moting him to a better office by the timely discovery that he is a “‘ nigger,” and hence, an offensive partisan. | Tue case or Rev. Dr. Leonard, the pro- | hibition candidate for Governor of Ohio, is one of unusual bad fortune. He drank old stock ale behind the bushes at camp meet- ing, several years ago, continuously and suc- cessfully. He did not even get canght at it. We submit that his tact and taste enti- tle him, like the jolly Rip, to the privilego of ‘not counting dis one.” comicbooks.com