Judge, 1885-08-29 · page 5 of 16
Judge — August 29, 1885 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* magazine contains a humor column called "Our Little Folk's Post-Office," where "Aunt Jane" responds to children's letters with sharp, satirical advice—the humor deriving from her deliberately discouraging and insulting replies. The five cartoon panels above ("Songs Without Words") depict scenes of children playing with what appears to be a hot-air balloon or similar apparatus, using visual gags rather than text. The column's jokes target: - **Aspiring poetess "Bella"**: Aunt Jane mocks her pretensions, suggesting she'd be better suited to practical kitchen work than poetry-writing - **Wannabe humorist "Willie"**: Told he has no talent and should seek coal-mining work instead - **"Measle-Nosed Mike"**: A character obsessed with gore and violence, advised to leave New York (crude period humor about violent desires) - **Amateur newspaper editors**: Mocked for their poor quality and brief lifespans The satire reflects late-19th-century attitudes toward youth ambition, offering deliberately unhelpful "advice" as comedy. The harshness would strike modern readers as mean-spirited rather than funny.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE JUDGE. SONGS WITHOUT WORDS. Our Little Folk’s Post-Office. CONDUCTED BY AUNT JANE. Dean Ciitpre Your Aunt Jane is going away. She will drink the lacteal fluid; give the bovine gentleman a leading race; frolic among the drowsy bees. She will not frolic too much, but just enough to make it interesting to herself while the bees get left; she will hie to the sylvan resort pre over by her sister-in-law’s second cousin, Iu fact, your Aunt Jane is about to embark upon her regular, summer, sponge act. She will do the dead-head in earnest. Here are some letters from infantile minds, Arn’t they swect? ScRANTON, Pa Dean Aunt Jase:—My have a soul for poetry. I “recite nice graduated last spring in a white dress, send you a lock of my hair, What is its color? Can I become a famous poetess. BELLA. :—The air is redolent with the soul Great gobs of poetry hang from e CAVES. of hou There enuine poctry in the rattle of pie tins, swish of the dish-cloth, ete., than was ever dug from effete, poesey-trodden Boston. You are the girl who graduated in white? hope the teacher threw in some brains. | You recite nicely? They all do, but Lord | No. 4. “OFT IN THE STILLY NIGHT."—Cornet Oigat. help the hearers! You can become more famous as a dough mechanic and a pic- crust butcher than you can wooing the muse. ‘The color of your hair is red. Not auburn, golde but just pure red. Cleopatra Minwavne: Dean Aunt Jan to be a funny writer, Is there an opening for me? Here is a sample of my wit: “The grocery man placed the peach sket behind the counter as little Georgie came in——” WILLIE. Wit. There, that You've been reading “ There's no hope for you. You cannot b come a funny writer. Down in Pennsy Wis, Aug. 5, 1885, will do, | therearea namber of openings for y 1; holes in the ground where blind in Mollies, coal and fire-damp_ lurk. them before trying the funny biz. Fiusn Deck., C Tley, THar! Jane OLp snortin’ blood drinker from "way I'm pinin’ fur more gore. How is the carmine biz in N k? Think I could get’ my thirst quenched if I should come thar? MEASLE-NOSED MIKE rip- Mienaen:—If you do not want to rob | teur papers is Colorado of one of her red come here to New York, s you of old. lights, don’t Your Aunt Jane You long to swim in There is not much gore in the city much all sand and dvise you to. hump inst New York sand and back-bor ill, if you are determined to come ud glut your thirst for gore, I'd advis tosend your stature and C uloaddr ahead. "Dead men tell no tales; and I pre- sume Potter's Field would not be rich enough for your blood. It is pre I don’t Synacest Dean Aust Jan ition of seven- is the main- How do you like ALFRED, aged 12. nd to su The mainstay of am: jence. Patience on the Ivertisers who pay in advance for a ard, and learn that the paper turns teur papers? p:—Your are either bor ceed or otherwise. art of up its inky toes after the third iesne ; Your chic Worship paper is a” curiosity, Jom. to Scare Suckers, * White Grubs vs Grasshoppers for ‘ ign Diplomatic Corps,” nda lot of others tell how you will soar one of these da comicbooks.com