Judge — August 29, 1885 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. and so they sent him for » or rather for death. At first, they were between a stew and a sweat whether k. should be shot, hung or drowned. Atlast they gave him ‘his choice of death and he told them he wanted to die of old age or else be killed with kindness. ‘This made them so mad that they said hanging too good for him. So ‘they concluded to poison him, and instead of allowing him to nominate his poison, as we do in these , they compelled him to drink hem: wife was cros: ar than the ne was Nantippe and |S ysona par with her She use ‘l to write her name ‘ Mrs. d folks made fun of her and showed she could not write ter that she wrote her name in full, She whooped it up to Sock right along to the last and then Plato ws she weakened and cried lke a bs Socrates said there was one good thing about having a cross woman, it made it scem like a Saturday half-holiday whenever a fellow went away from hom | Socrates kept well, for Nenophon says he A SUMME, EVOURSION, was quite a masher even in his old ae | Ons TRGuiRIeC EN ESE HITE . confess I like to see a man always able to Youne ve Tu MNENT "(fot te A relia anaes " or to a a pretty Re ” female form or face, no matter how ok ne OL Welly yore tell find hotter there than here is, and if some of these * rotten-toothed old ~ reformers” who take vows of eternal woman Little Classics. get s pinters from him in spite of all hatred would imitate Socrates the world = the boasted perception of the nineteenth | would see a grander race of people in a few SOCRATES. centur, generation for, L. S$. Crandall says: Socrates, like Cato, was a crank, but he Socrates seems to have been a reformer |“ Love is Sexuality is the Chris wana. muck i than Cato and 4% an inventor, for when, he was on trial | | Suerates was buried just below Athens on hence he wasea much greater crank, -Q, | £2" his life, the judge in his charge to the | the bank of the Hudson where the tide ebbs Eb. & y said ‘that’ Sock, ‘had introduced ; and flows twice a day, and itis suid that the I do:nof know. wliste Socrates (wes born, 8; denied the infallibility of the |“ Maid of Athens” spends two-thirds of her but he made his home and got his mail at ‘ant damnation; said he pin money right along, to see that his grave Athens, N. Y., 3 we would now write | © tid knock ‘L? out of the Bible in the [3s kept green, FRED. SHELLY RYMAN, it “2 Socrates | first round; and that he wanted to die with . = iste’ th have’, a on the jim-jams and be buried in the Erie | ‘THe nannen wine monopolists lawyer, but the pattern was lost ; Canal, if he couldn't wrive a better book | loyal. ry have recently put up fe bacnare sopher and a traveling puzzle! the Presbyterian ‘Shorter Catechism’.” | notwithstanding the President’ of the There were a lot of deep-water Baptists on | United States has ordered it down on all ems to have been one of these the jury and also a couple of Old School | public lands. endurance fiends, for Xenophon “ —— : do not think it is possible for any’ one to earn so little with the labor of his hands as not to have procured a sufliciency to sup- ply Soerate Evidently, Xenophon never | saw any literary men, or else the writers of | Greece were writers Sock’s endurance tricks was with no boots or socks on ri of winter. The a sock it to him for this, but he told them to shoot their wad, and when they saw they could not bluff him they let him go a sent hima bottle of Dr. X——’s Asthma Anijhilator and an ice-cream freezer as a te tribute to his sand. ney made lots of fun of Socrates in Athens. Aristophanes, the leading funny man of that time, wrote a lot of funny bout him, He also wrote a a "in which he tried to let Sock down, and I am_ not cer- tain but this come 80 hastened his death. Aristophanes was one of the very, very few | funny men who have been able to write anything worth re-reading or remembering. Aristophanes scems to have sought for sub- tt were eternal to display his wit and he did not waste all his time in y m “rotten rot” about mothers-in-law, Li. DAVENPORT FAKE, THE DISTINGUISHED AMATEUR READER AND ELOCTTIONIST HAS DECIDED TO tof the Chicago girl, and | “@RK THE SUABIER HoTVI WITIC INS REFINED ENTERTAINMENT. TH ROARDEKS GET UP THIS ¢ works to many of our so- MITTEE IMPROMPTU RECEPTION AFTER MIS FIRST APPEARANCE TO EVINCE THEIR APPROVAL OF 1118 4 GREAT MOKAL SHOW, ele 3 comicbooks.com