Judge — August 22, 1885 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Of the stealthy, insidious, 1 THE JUDGE. iF ay J Z THE CIGARRETTE. PANS ) ay 4, y) hiaveli: q acherous thing. What odors unpleasant our nostrils fret! That » We tox The sk = of pile ar But whe Spite of the p: indul ma we 1 er forget. fore complain of it n of it, 2 in our cigarette. ¢ power Ii the mind-paralizi pertidious thing. of the past, that linger yet! no land where laws beset who lay sense aside, Into themselves from a ci; Thither Vd tly and forever The praise of the land that is free from the thing. From AML of them Seemingly Taking slow death through a ¢ The invasive odliferous th Ws ully sing. ay with it, nin ay with it, intrusive, | What sinner without and bey Of civilization, began to inhale nd the pale Scaling his own sad fate, Telfing us, ob! too Gibberi y ends th Husky my voice, I must cc: I'm puting, myself, at the pe te! tale, « to sing, onous thing, JAMS CLARESCE HARVEY. Tho Dynamite Scare in New Hampshire. You rce'lect the time them buildin’s in London was blow'd up? Well, it was at that time that this I’m calating to tell you hap: pened. My husband Jonas is a smart, stiddy man, an’ he never had no whims till the newspapers got full of dynamite und sich. Then he got nervous. “Debby,” says he, “we've got a lot of Irish folks in the village.” » we hev,” says I, “and a like lot they be—as you know, hayin’ as Mike O’Donell. “Thain t got nothin’ to say against their smartness,” he, ** but they de Irish, and who knows when they'll blow us up?” * Blow us up, sl. You're a losin’ of your senses!” fife looked kinder shame-faced, but ef you'll believe it the next weck he got some excuse to send Mike off to the medder farm. I liked Mike, myself an’ his wife Bridget was as good a hand at cookin’ up a mess 0” victuals as you ever see. She was sick in the winter, an’ so I sent her some dough- nuts and stuff, so she took kind of a likin’ to me. I declare after Jonas had sent Mike off he was worsern’ ever. He cal’ated as how he'd sce right through his reasons and would be mad. me all out. One night O’Donell, smart jee’ a sundown, Teddy ome up With a good-sized covered Who's 0 spry | At last somethin’ happened that put | the jumpin’ toothache, an’ was all behindhand with everything. Say he: “Mother’s mighty sorry for ye ‘Teke it right out, af ye plaze!” and off he [ brought the basket in an’ sot it on the table, an’ what do you spose Jonas Debby, I'm sure there’s an infernal | machine in that ere basket; don’t open it or ays he. You've ht of infernal machines in your head ys I. My tooth was a’- mblin’ yet, so I talked right up to him, You're not agoin’ to tech that!” says “T bel” says I. “ Debby, let it alone,” says he, and when he spoke so I’'ll own I darsent tech it, but I banged the door some. Wall, we went to bed. It was cool, so we shet the kitchen winders an’ left the Ledroom door open. I was jes’ udozin’ off when there come a pop and crack that waked me up, I tell you! “Debby,” says he, “I told you so; we are all agoin’, «Where to?” says I, cross as you please. “To eternity,” he says, sollem “<1 knew that long ago,” I snapped out. Why don’t you see what's broke?” “Tt's that infernal machine!” he cried. Well, I dodeclare I am free to confess was set back a little mite.‘ But I don’t I'm agoin’ to sce it | \I hear no more noise. out no ays I. Ie didn’t want me to, but Twas bound | to. So we got up an’ lit a candle, an’ looked out an’—— there, you never see nothin’ like it in all your born days! The walls was |a-runnin’ with something white—there was i broken glass on the floor, and that white stuil over everything. “That's dys “Tvs y an’, Jonas Alder- bury, my kitchen walls is ruined, there's a nico mess here and a good bottle of yeast lost, all along of your not ays 1. “An’ I'd a hundred times rather you be as stupid as old Gran’ther Hodges us to hev you read them newspapers with their ever- | lastin’ trash!” says I. “Don’t you say one word. Go back to bed. I'd a sight rather clean it up alone,” says I; ‘for its enough to try the patience of Job.” b.0.T. 18¢ | THE ADMINISTRATION has sct up an apiary and gone to hiving bee: Small hives of | these’ offensive partisans might be used to hurl from the top. of the White persuade mobs of Democratic office seekers to go West. It is getting back to pioneer principles when the government makes. bees to get its work done. | THOSE WHO CANNOT AFFORD TO OWN ALL THE FUN BY YACHTS OK EV AN INEXPENSIVE N TO HIRE SATL BOATS CAN HAVE RIG LIKE THE AbOVE, comicbooks.com