Judge — August 8, 1885 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK, TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. (Usiren Staves aso Casapa Ope copy, one year, or numbers, One copy, a8 mont Ove copy, for 13 we PUBLISHING COMPANY, $24, 326 and 328 Pearl § NEW YORK, THE JUDGE S$ AND CONTRIBUTERS, EP-CoMMESFeNDENTS WILL PLEASE TAKK SoTicE THAT HET exp 3 PVICR AT THEDL OWN IKK, W KVERY case W QUENT CLAIN YOK KENUNERATION WILL BE ENTERTAINED MATA Oo THE FRX Paw vom AOREED CFOS FOR THE WHOLE constonaest THE STORY OF THE GOOD LITTLE BOY. Once there was a good little, the son of a good preacher. The little be tochurch and Sunday and had his lessons and got the first prize of the school, the love of his teachers and the hatred of the bad little boys of his class. The good little boy’s name was Gro-ver, and always went hool on Sunday he behaved so well and said such nice things that the neighbors gave him hat-fulls of apples to distribute to other good little boys. Now when this little Gro-ver began to give away the apples he gave bat few to the boys in his schoc boys in the Reform school, and they were nearly all boys called Re-pub-li-cans. ‘This made the bad boys in little Gro-ver’s school very mad. One d r had ahat full of apples, and was looking every- where for one, just one good boy of his class, the very bad boys from his school caught poor little Gro-ver and beat and kicked him, and pulled his hair and licked him aw-ful- ly to make him give the apples to them. This story will show how sad it is to be a pious, good boy in a class of bad boys ; and how hard it is to keep bad boys away from good apples. Yes, and he gave some to the when Gro. AMERICAN PAUPER PROCURERS. Uncle Sam is rich enough to give us all a farm, of course. But he is neither strong enough nor foolish enough to allow monopo- THE JUDGE. lists to import pauper labor to compete with laborers who come here of their own accord to cast their fortunes with him, Cepital combines to control the price of labor. Then Labor combines to counteract cutting down and prot far, honors are easy and all is But when Capital sends abroad and buys muscle at its own price to uproot American labor, it is time to cry, Halt! ‘The trouble in the Pennsylvania and Ohio coal mines und in the Cleveland Iron Mills, grew out of this industrial procuration to debauch Amer- ican labor. There is no ‘* Know-nothingism ” in this, either. Any Enropean who has the industry and saving-virtue to accumulate money and the courage and enterprise to pullup and strike He will make a good citizen. Assisted emigrants are an enemy to American labor, native and naturalized enough to bring him to Americ for a new home here, is welcome. and a peril to the country. And the capitalist who assists or profits by such an importation isa more dangerous and unprincipled enemy of public peace than the importer of infected rags and small-pox patients. THE INSECT DELIVERY OF THE PAR- TURIENT MOUNTAIN. ‘The man shearing the hog and reaJizing much cry and little wool, the mountain laboring and bringin and all ions of ‘orth a mouse, other lame and impotent conclus noisy promise are made respectable and ra- tional in comparison with the outcome of the ontery of reform from the tion. The destruction of one nav wdministra- rontractor after five months of vigorous raking the d partments with Democratic drag-nets, is more than a ridiculous mus ; it is a solitary roach, ‘The whole Democratic party, the Federal government and the Mugwamp midwives have disclosed a Roach, All the throes of reform have thrown out—a roach. The volcanic Democracy, in a constant state of eruption of wind for months, has fired out —A roach, And, after all, it is unsettled as whether the Roach will not come ba plague the mighty reformers who have given their whole minds and the power of the Government to getting rid of him. It’s said that there is a little insect that by get- into the trunk of an elephant can torture, drive crazy and finally destroy the great beast. As “K. N. Pepper” used to say, “ Moril is obvis.” Tue Jupce would mildly suggest to the Secretary of the Navy and his junketing companions that fewer lunches and more launches would consist better with criticisms of former secretaries and present professions of reform and economy. RULINGS. Tt Henpricks is frank enough to admit, everywhere he goes a-trou- badouring, that “ his visit has no political significance.” Nor any other kind. TMiacins defies the Mugwump assaults; says he shall not resign while under fire. Some time he is likely to be under fire amidst circumstances that will preclude the idea of resignation on his part, and he'll be more surrounded with Mugwumps than he is now. Ir ILLUstRATES the irony of fate that an insect may sink a great ship, a woman’s finery wreck a dynasty, and the greatest man of his age be ruined and done to death by a gnawing, sly, slinking rat like Ferdi- nand Ward. The very insignificance of the knave saves him from hanging at the hands of a people mourning by the bier of its de- fender and deliverer. GAMEY, BUT NO USE. The Cockerill of the World may crow, And cackle may the Pulitzer; But downward Cleveland's bound to go, As straight as goes a bullet, sir! st stoxem. Crowner’s Quest Law. The distinguished Arkansas Traveller chosen by Cleveland to manufacture law for the nation, he who decided the XIV. amend- ment to the constitution unconstitutio has laid a new Garland on the brow of Jus tice in the following brief presented this court, in re Roach’s ship contracts. He finds: 1, That John Roach not having built the boats according to contract, the government mustn’t take the boats. 2. There being no valid and legal con- et with Roach the government mustn’t Roach’s balane . ‘The government having paid a part of the contract price, must take the bouts, _ 4. There being no contracts, the govern- ment doesn’t owe Roach anything and hasn’t paid him a cent. 5. For the money already paid Roach under the contract his bondsmen are liable. 6, There being no contracts, the bonds- men cannot be ela and the government must seize the vessels as security for money advanced under the contracts that did not exist. 7. The vessels not being completed accord- ing to contract, and the government having refused to accept them because there is no contract, Roach must finish them and keep them and refund to the government the money advanced and the balance unpaid and deliver the vessels to the government accord- ing to contract; Or, 8. Roach and all bis employes must join a Cleveland club, shout reform, and agree to construct only Democratic ships and. cam- paign funds hereafter, by way of liquidated damages. tri comicbooks.com ‘