Judge — August 8, 1885 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ali I Y THE JUDGE, bi = _ eee eee | 7 i Going for other Game. H Midsummer Musings. i “Well, Uncle Rastus,” said the minister, ‘Tis now the vender wildly shouts, | *how is the new baby getting on?” And whoops, and sbricks, and yells, t “Finely, sah, finel he am growin’ And also down the street is heard a) | pow’ful fas’, but I wan’ ter speak ter yo" | Just sixteen ragmen's bells! bout dat baby, Mistah Goodman, I wan’t | 7-3 i ter have his name changed.” Job was possessed of considerable patience, “* What's the trouble according to the revised version, but we'll “De trubble am dis, sah. I writ ter de | bet two cents he never sat down and waited | | President an’ tole him’ dat I’d jess named a| for a small boy to go on an errand a dozen | bran’ new baby Grovah Cleveland Johnsing, | blocks when there was a circus parade in an’ at the same time I inserdenterly men-| town. shuned dat de posishun ob boss scrubber at | | =. . de pos’ office wah occupied by de present in-| Caterpillars are now ripe and beginning cumbunt, whoam de wugmump, sah, an’ | to fall from the trees. When one of them didn’t rate fo’ nobod. 1’ who am disex- | happens to are in the midst ofa lawn cau- perienced an’ unduly qualified fo’ de im-| cus of young ladies the expeditiousness with eee nortanse ob de off Does yo’ understan’, which the convention adjourns is somethin, | | A LITTLE OFF COLOR . Mistah Goodman | phenomenal. ; ® | Ou Panty—"J aleays had an idea that Pond |“ Tbegin to understand, Uncle Rastus. | _ | bitte were white And what did the President say?” | “Nothing surpasses the joy of an Ameri- ] } * “He didn’t say nuffin, sah. He nebber | can swell who is able to take twenty-five dif- | | | | = —_ — *knowledged er word in response ter ferent suits with him to Saratoga.”— Kz. | BY THE SEA. letter, an’ I writ it mo'n fe hh weeks ago.” | change. Don’t, eh? We know an Ameri- And you want the baby’s ‘name | can swell of the first magnitude who has | changed?” twice as many ‘‘suits” usthat on hand, and | Out from my window T lean in the stillness of mi oy sh. I wan’s yo’ ter rechristian- | he doesn’t feel a bit joyful over it, either. ni y's name ter Jacob Sharp John- | They are law-suits, every solitary one of them—except the suit he owes the tailor for. ize dat bab. sing, sah, And list to the throb of the waves on the ci shore; List while the music upborne in its passio sweetness POSITIVELY THE LAST APPEARANCE OF THE MOTHERIN-LAW. | Wraps me about likea dream or a memory of yore. Lights and faint perfumes stream out on the | wind, | i | Where the 1 sweet bound; | Over them all the pale stars keep their unceasing | HH! 1, i) | ag the Waves as they sweep with a musical | sound— || Over the sands where we walked in life’s moring— Ob! the bright vision that dawned on manbood’s | fair prime; | Ab! how [ loved her, her beauty was madness, | | Thrilling innermost soul with a rapture divine. H ] | Yonder she floats to the sensuous music of waltzes, | Perfect those lips are as when I claimed them as mine, | Velvety eyes under down-sweeping fringes of dark | And crimson her checks as she was in that far | away time, Does she remember the past with its desperate | . > 7 ; | a ee Coronen Paxry— {What will you give me if I save her?” | Jas she a thought of the love she has eda ? iNANT White Party— Give you a devilish good Cai She’: 10 - || Vainly I question, the stars and the waves give no uw h good licking. — She's ny mother answer, Only the gleam and the ripple come in from the | = — —— | bay Lk. He Was Taking Something. SPELLING AND RHYMING. | ~ “Hello, Jones; how are you? Glad to see = A Regular Boarder. you, I was just a-going to take something Two narsimen who'd agreed to row, — —go along? Come to think of it, though, Fell out and bad a bloody row Mrs. Tidgers has had some trouble with | You weren't taking anything the last time I | Proposed & farmer's seed to sow, | her boarders, of late, and so advertised for | 88W you, Taking anything now?” Disposed, a swine, a bungry sow; « Young men of regular habits. “Oh, yes, Smith; right straight along.” So, having nothing then to mow, | | Tom Skites, of the firm of Blathereen, | ‘Good. Come on. “What are you taking The farmer laid bim on a mow; | Skites & Co., liked the ‘‘ad.” and took a | now, my boy?” There Cupid shot his ready bow, room. ‘The first night Mrs, Tidgers ‘laid Names for the City Directory. Good The farmer making lowly bow for him,” as Tom sa! siderably , and saw him con- | day. off. ‘The next night the thing — Unto a m A, such as we read About in books most largely read; was duplicated. Mrs, Tidgers objected. “What do you think of Secretary Whit- In romances that take the lead, “Mr. Skites,” she said, in tartaric acid | ney’s chances in life? You know he is the Though some are heavier than lead! tones, ‘I advertised for young men of reg- | son-in-law of Petroleum Payne. While reading some we drop a tear, ular habits,” “He is sure to-rise.” Some others we would like to tear, “Yes’'m!” said Tom with difficulty. Why?” And throw their fragments in the wear,* “ This ‘um, is my reg’larhabit. Good ni’!”| “A man who can float in oil, will never They so upon our patience wea | Exit Tom. be drowned.” ‘*Also spelled wier, weir. | comicbooks.com