Judge — July 18, 1885 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A RINK WRINKLE. He wasa rollercrinker, and they uttered in his prai ‘That he bounced upon his cranium in a bi While she, a belle skutorial, ¢ the Ired novel ways; uld execute with cas The circles and tria sand the Vs. n her asked hime at an angle w sure met his ¢ He was glid The lov ves were amber, aud her frizzes in their curls 1 with envy half aU W J have paraly He observed her ai And the glances in his I his heart like giml sud common girls, ettish raptures frau, ir destructive mission wrought, s, anil to prove his feelings tled, j enraptured, and he stood his ead So with her; she felt instanter that her fate in bin was found Her heart, her head, her ty ke love's cart-wl irling ‘round, | So wil acefullest confu tush ill her faco— | nwing she tumble * Chawley’s " glad embrace, | Then, in their n rapture. w along the tloor Tatwace—* Du taking it all in. | With sucls rapid evolutions as were never sec ! Anil as each novel figure was thus conceived ——— — Sly Cupid in those tangles their quivering beart-string | Born in Boston. " 1] way they dashed wit ardot Py ~~ - | \| ‘Away-llieg dashed withiardorin th , T was born in Boston many years T never was born out of While slo watched them in stupefied amaze— ; Boston. I never m returning thanks for having , to live over again I would manag in in Boston. | Because, Boston is the mental centre of the Universe. Al- | mind comes from Boston. Mind is now stored in Boston—mill their charms lions of tons of mind waiting to be distributed over all crc lover's Our family has always been noted for its pure blooded and cold-blooded intellect. We came over in the Mayflower, called on Deity in the Old South Meeting House, live on Beacon street an to bi T never allow a day to 1 born in Boston, I to be borr yass without Tomy life But little w the watchers pat Cupid set their pace, nd gi » its perfectne I uced not say he whispered, y ewinkers the w i ! ‘| hit | | ii! | They cur «I in crazy waltzes ty They whirled like a their twinkl —aapeenensassonae | originated pork and beans for the Sunday breakfast, sent a gen- Ln lovelaspired fantaatles never Minetiey) | eral, two chaplains and three surgeons to the Revolutionary army } The rivet love inserted was driven deep and clinched. put spectacles on our childrens’ eyes six weeks after birth and } Twa »metric courting on wheels high polished sped; at the end of the first year of their existence we are obliged to bit i ‘They trotted to the preacher's that very eve. and wed; and curb their minds, in order that their bodies may have achance en | But knowing well that sollers supply th ing link, | to get strong enough to hold their gigantic intellects, thus tem- } iH They every eve go whirling adown the roller rink porarily fettered for that purp F oy . . Great-grandpapa brought niggers from Africa, rum from the | i | Paitisny, “Shwas:srontlte ny engagell'so short a while? yest. Indies and went back there with cod-fish, Ie gave the Why, bless y ple wonder, that’s just the rinkcr’s style! family fortunes a big boost and he never thought till then’ of our j + And then “twas very cranky such hasty things to do? | family coat of arms, which we sent to England for and paid for. || aa Of course it was; but bless you, that's rinker’s fashion, too, They are ours now, anyhow. Excuse this digression. a * You doubt if they'll be happy through but a score of days? Washington slept one night at our house while in Boston. We | | | ‘Gh,-well that snalters follce-riakers wave sent for him to do it, because we saw far enough ahead to know | They should have thought about itt” Why, dear, they never think; | that his visit would be a valuable thing for our posterity to talk of. iis huects. bot hie raicitecrink. We are always in the van of human progress. We buy all the i I simply give the new books on science and read them whether we understand them | This modern foot or not. We keep pace with the titles anyway, and [ tell you that ! , is pretty hard work now You can’t get “culture” with- 4 yall Cupid's ambush wink, out working for it now. Father says the number of books pub- ie | shrine Lim in love-notes s¢ I pink: lished per year should be limited by law. Ile s; it’s time that ay | el forever: and in the roller rink this indiscriminate and promiscous rushing into print was stopped | xchanged for wheels, swiftly through skewered bearts and heels, and confined to the first families, As it is now, any fellow is given the chance to get a reputrtion and become one of Us, whether he has a family or not. I think so too, I would publish a | book myself if aay deference was paid family blood and pedigree by the reviewers, OLD NEW SOUTH, Hashing INQUISITIVE MICK. eperepeemnyamans saa = It Wasn't Colonel Blakie. He was dapper, and his smile was child-like and bland as he | stepped up and extended his dexter digits toa portly specimen of || the ruling genus from Ruraldom. Sharp ing. i WeuUlEl Sle Dente inicg ; “Why, Colonel Blakie, how do you do?—how do you do, my || } AS he tried to reach the contents ( old friend?” || of a can of giycer > “That depends, young man, on what [ have to do,” was the | On theca bi st arock and $4.) prompt response, with no extended land to mect the one presented. Itsy a Sn Ti c ht In this case, this is how Ido,” and his right arm and left leg uenal swept respectively right and left, the dapper enquirer going to earth like a blade of grass before a scythe. “What do you mean, sir, by this outrag: low, quickly on his feet. ‘<'Phat you can’t bunco me, young feller; I read the papers,” | and Portly strode off, saying, ‘If you should ever want to know how Ido in other cases, drop me a line, but don’t address me as Colonel Blakie, as I shouldn't get the letter.” A cop came up at this moment, and Dapper dusted ‘round a comer, Portly proceeding onward, proad of his powers, probably. | " exclaimed the fel | a comicbooks.com