Judge — July 11, 1885 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE, JUDGE. want to be like?” . IL—**1 want to be like Fred Douglas, cause then they won't let me go to chureh, and I'll have lots of fun on Sundays.” {Washington Hatchet. | A CLOSE DEFINITION. One of the witnesses in the case of the State vs. Rhodes Danforth, said yesterday, in giving his testimony, that Danforth thonght all the girls were ‘‘ mashed” o1 him, “He's a sort of dude, then?” queried the oxamining lawyer. “No, sir,” was the reply; “fa dude isa fellow who is mashed on himself.” The aptness of the definition caused a smile that was almost audible. [Atlanta Constitution. LaNpLapy (handing bill to boarder)— «This is the forty-seventh time, Mr. Jones, I have presented this bill.” Boarper (taking it from her hands and examining it critically) —‘t Is that so, Mrs. Sweet? Well, it doesn’t show the wea t all. Have you any idea who manu- factures this paper? "—[Merchant Traveller. LIBERTY ENLIGHTENING THE WORLD. When Patrick Henry put his old cast-iron spectacles back the on of his head and whooped for liberty, he did not know that y we would have more of it than we knew what to do with. It seems to me that we have too much liberty in this country in some ways. more liberry than we have mone: ntee that every man in America shall fill himself up full of liberty at our expense, and the less of an Americ more liberty he can have. If he desires to enjoy himself, all he needs is a slight foreign 3 nd a willingness to mix up with “polities ‘oon as he can get his luggage off the steamer. ‘The more I study American institutions, the more I re- gret [ was not born a foreigner, so that I could have something to say about the man- agement of our great land.” If I could not be a foreigner, I believe I would prefer to be a Mormon or an Indian not taxed. Tam often led to ask, in the language of the poet, “Is the Caucasian played out?” Most everybody can have a good deal of fun in the country except the American. He seems to be so bn: paying taxes all the time that he has very little time to mingle in the giddy whirl with the alien. That is the reason that the alien who rides across the United States on the ‘¢ Limited Mail,” and writes a book about us before breakfast, wonders why we are always in a hurry. That is the reason we have to throw our meals into ourselves with a dull thud, and hardly have time to maintain a warm. per- G IRON BITTERS This, medicine ae ut Pecrer. be Ss ircdeas ase peel Toot stipation—all otber Iron medicines d ‘Toe Genuine bas above Trade Mark and eres red apm, FAKE NO OTIC: sonal friendship with our - temilice, I am in favor of a statute of Liberty En- lightening the World. The sight of the Goddess of Liberty standing there i in New York harbor, night and day, bathing her feet in the rippling sea, will be a good thing. It will be first- rate. It may also be productive of good in a direction that many have not thought of. As she stands there, day after day, bathing her feet in the broad Atlantic, perhaps some moss-growing Mormon moving toward the far West, a confirmed victim of the matri- monial habit, may fix the bright picture in his so-called mind, and remembering how, on his arrival at New York, he saw Liberty bathing her feet with impunity, he may bo led in after years to try it on himself. [St. Paul Herald. BILL NYE'S BUDGET. I VISITS TIS OLD MAINE OME Last week I visited my birthplace in the State of Maine. I waited thirty years for the public to visit it, and as there didn’t seem tobe much of a rush this spring, I thought I would go and visit it myself. I was telling afriend the other day that the public did not seem to manifest the interest In my birthplace that I thought it ought to, and he said I ought not to mind that. “Just wait,” said ‘he, ‘till the people of the United States have an opportunity to viait your tomb, and you will be surprised to seé how they will run excursion trains up to Moosehead Lake, or wherever you yourself, It will be a perfect pic hold on the American people, William, is wonderful, but your death would ure it, and kind of erystalize the tion now existing, but still in a nebulous and gummy state. A man ought not to criticise his birth- I presume, and yet, if I were to do it all over again, I do not know whether I would select’ that particular spot or not. Sometimes I think I would not. And yet what memories cluster about that house There was the place where | first met my parents. It was at that time th: nue. quaintance sprang up which has ripened in later years into mut respect and esteem. It was there that what might be termed a casual meeting took place, that has, under the alchemy of resistless years, turned to golden links, forming a pleasant but power- ful bond of union between my parents and myself, For that reason I hope that I may be spared to my parents for mat ears to come. Many old memories now cluster about that old home, as I have said. There is, also, other old bric-a-brac which has acumu- lated since I was born there. I took a small stone from the front yard asa kind of me- mento of the oceasion and the place. I do not think it has Leen detected yet. There was another stone in the yard, so it may be weeks before any one finds out that I took one of them. How humble the home, and yet what a lesson it should teach the boys of America! Here, amid the barren and inhospitable waste of rocks and cold, the last place in the world that a great man would naturally select to be born in, began the life of one who, by his own unaided effort, in after Years rose to the proud height of postmaster at Laramie City, Wy. T., and, with an esti- mate of the future that scemed almost prophetic, resigned before he could be char- acterized as an offensive partisan. Here, on the banks of the raging Piscata- | to be born. quis, where winter lingers in the lap of spring till it occasions a good deal of talk, there began a career which has been the wonder und admiration of every vigilance committee west of the turbulent Missouri, ‘There, on that spot, with no inheritance buta predisposition to premature baldne: and a bitter hatred of run ith no pe sonal property but a misfit suspender and a stone bruise, began a life-history which has never ceased to bea warning to people who sell groceries on credit. It should teach the young of this young land what glorious possibilities may lie con- cealed in the rough and tough blossom of the reluctant present. It shows how a steady perseverence and a good appetite will always win in the end. And teaches us that wealth is not indispensable, and that if we live as we should, draw out of politics at the proper time, and die a few days before the public absolutely demand it, the matter of birthplace will not be considered. Still, my birthplace is all right as a birth. It was a good, quiet plac which All the old neighbors said that Shirley wasa very quiet place up to the time I was born there, and when I took my parents by the hand ‘and gently led them away in the spring of “3 pl MUST BE USED. 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