Judge — June 27, 1885 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

} i i i { i i | Wy t | SIONAL FAILURE, Awfully wise, awfully They knew much more thanthey"dever Lorvin their ey in their eyes Pm, ‘They dosed their patient W that they we it that his death would surely occur And th Three wise doctors of Gotham were they Terribly wise, terribly wise; experiments—sometimes astray !— Balking demise, balking demise (1) But they said each day ** He will hav But we one all that we could, you know!” Doctors with wisdom maybe, Tsay, Toomuchce wise, toomuchce wis These three attended him night and da; Columbia, he dies! Columbia, li But it seems quite queer, and they can’t de ‘They were so surprised when be didn’t dic The Great Stairway Controversy. The Russian Consulate and the English Consulate in this city ocenpy the same bailding and have a common stairw The glish Consul recently decided to delimit this stairway and asked that a joint com- mission be appointed for the work of de- limitation. rhe tussian Consul did not, at first, consider the request, and when obliged by diplomatic pressure to accede to sending a representative to draw the Chal line down the stairs. The English Consul was indignant at this indication. of bad faith on the part of the Russian Consul, and set a day on which the stairway) must be delimited whether the Russian representative arrived or not. When the appointed day came the Russian representetive was not present, and the English member of the stairway com- mission began the work of delimitation alone. He drew a blue chalk-line from the top of | the stairw: y to within five steps of the bot- tom landing. One-third in breadth of the part of the st y thus surveyed was given to the English Consulate and two-thirds to the Russian ate. The commissioner now drew the line of delimitation to the THE JUDGE. wall and awarded the entire lower part of | the stairway to the English Consul. Her Majesty’s Consul expressed himself delighted with the work that had been ac- complished, but the Russian Consul refused to recognize the new boundary, which pre- vented him from walking out of his own office, and said that the Russians had as much right to go out of doors as had the ‘The English Consul replied that the first | time the Russian Consul stepped over the alk line he would consider the act one of gression, and would at once prepare to maintain by force the honor of the English Consulate. Hostilities between the two consulates landlord and nearly all the tenants in the building wanted the pastry cook ejected, and he was often threatened with a first of May The English Consul insisted that the pastry cook should not be put out until he had paid his debts. In return for this protection the English Consul obliged the cook to prevent the Russian Consul from going out of doors by the front stairway. ‘The Russian Consul declared that if he could not go down the front stairs he would go down the back stairs. At the foot of the back stairs there was a poor black who sold tice and indigo in a wretched shop. ‘The English Consulate was always reminding him how much it had done to civilize him, and when he rebelled it used to send down seemed on the point of breaking out. Most | men who flogged him with terrible severity. of the tenants in the building took the side of the English Consulate, because, as they alleged, its clerks enjoyed liberty while tl tussian Consulate was adespotism. Mor over, they claimed that the maintenance of the blue chalk-line on the stairway would be of immense benefit to civilization, while the success of the Russian Consulate would be a victory for barbarism. It is true that the Russian Consulate was ruled by one man, and that when the head clerks became unruly they were sent up on the icy roof, which was named Siberia, and had to sit there until the id cooled off, But the clerks had all the candles they wanted to eat, and the big clerks were not allowed to impose on the little clerks. The Russian Consul was the friend and champion of the little clerks. In the English Consulate, on the other hand, afew big clerks got ‘nearly all the plum-pudding—many of them got more plum pudding than they could eat—and the lesser clerks had so little plum pudding that most of them went hungry alt the time, Now, though the great mass of little cee in the English Consulate had no plum pud- ding, they had aright to grumble, and they prized this privilege very much and called it liberty. As far as real liberty was con- cerned, they were completely “under the thumb of the few big clerks, who monopo- | lized nearly all the plum-pudding and made the little clerks serve them almost as slaves { serve their masters, In the building there were two stairways, | the front stairs and the back stairs. At the foot of the front stairs, ina room command- ing the doorway, a pastry cook had his sho | He was the most shiftless sort of toot | always in debt and often borrowing money, The English Consulate lent him money till the cook became so hopelessly involved that the mere: creditor, The | It had annexed his shop sometime ago, and obliged him to prevent the Russian Consul from going out of the back door. ‘There was an Italian organ-grinder in the basement of the building and the English Consulate hired him to throw bricks at the Russian Consul, should that ial get out of either door, The members of the Russian Consulate had now no direct to reach the open air, and they were obliged to climb over the neighboring roofs. For this privilege of ig the street by climbing through holes and crawling over strange roofs, they were indebted to the good will of their neighbors. Should the amity of these neighbors cease, the powerful Rus- sian Consulate would be absolutely locked up in its own office room, The Russian Consul declared that the English had no right to assume the owner- ship of the open air, and that if the English ‘onsul any longer barred the way of the Russians to the street, the latter would go to iteither by the front door or the back door, or by both doors. A conflict between the two consulates seemed inevitable. ‘The English Consulate was not only anxious before the con’ should begin to strengthen its alliance with the pastry cook and to make sure of its in- fluence over the crushed Pagan who did a business in indigo and rice, but was de- sirous of gaining the friendship of neutral tenants and spectators. On the sidewalk, across the way from the building, two brothers kept a street-stand and did a good business in selling hot saus- ages. A few years before they had broken up partnership and had fought each other with great energy and determination. The English Consulate had egged on one of the brothers to cut the other brother's throat, At the Hoffman House Bar. “Have another drink? “Noap; shad ’nuf.” “Take something hot “fore you go home?” “ Rasher take shumfin cold. I'll get all the hot I wantsh when I get home’sh.” “Hello, Coldcash, been down at Newport ail this time? Missed all the season? ” “Yes, I thought I’d rest this year from 80- ciety. Anything new in society “Oh, yes, pneumonia.” and had even supplied him with bricks, and ADOWN THE Adown the stream we idly glide, But not alo Peeps lau my side, . the rosy elf, She hasa Croesus store of pelf. No cause to hate her for « bride, In fact, I feel qu Her gildings seal n That she is Sevre Adown the stream I pop on this pocti She looks at me all wonder-eyed; T swear I love her for herself, And yet I'm placed upon the shelf. She answers no—my snit’s denied, Adown the stream. comicbooks.com