Judge — June 20, 1885 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

when they get married. — Progress has 1 further charms for them, — Instead of con- tinuing to go forward, they lose ambition and go backward.—[ Norristown Herald. Miss Budd—* Do you think M leaf pretty, Mr. Holworthy. Holwarthy (striving to say something complimentary)—Well, she has a very intel- ligent face. "Miss Budd—* Oh, what a compliment to Holworthy—* Oh, 1 know, Rose- Mr. Holworthy, youn, idn’t fie, Pr [Toledo Blade, A LEVEL-HEADED GIRL. Say that you will be mine, dearest gelin; “Twill, upon one condition.” “Name it, my adored, and if it were to get you the moon—” “It is easier than that; in brief, simply this: that you will invite me to spend a month in your father’s house previous to our marriage. * Of course, certainly; but why make such a strange request?” “Well, L wish to learn to cook like your mother.”—[‘Toledo Blade. An- ‘ou MALE VANITY Tt was at a ball, and discussion was vanity. that men were also vanity. “The men are ten times more the ladie she remarked “That's impossible,” men. The subject changed later the lady remarked «The handsomest man in the room has spot on his white vest,” whereupon every gentleman within hearing glanced down with a scared expression of countenance at his vest.—[ iftings. the subject under A lady maintained given somewhat to vain than said several gentle- id a few minutes Mos The Sunday School lesson was about Moses and the Israelites in the wilderness, and the teacher was asking questions of her scholars, “What did Moses strike the rock for?” she inquired. “ For water,” answered the class, prompt- THE WILDER) ly. “ Were the people glad?” “« Yea, m'am.” “And was Moses blessed for what he had done?” ‘0, m’am “Why not? This was a poser for some time, but final- ly a tough-looking small boy held up his hand. “Well, Tommy, why teacher encouragingly “Cos, mum, he didn’t strike it for bee: [Merchant T not?” asked the When all so-called remedies Dr. Sage’s Catarrh Remedy cure fail, A SERIOUS MATTER. “T heerd yer ole mudder was dead,” said Sam Johnsing to Gabe Snodgrass, a colored citizen of Austin. Jess so. She died las’ week.” + Was she sick long?” “Noy she jess tuk sick one day an’ died de ne “Onily sick one day! de Lor’, why dat was hardly wail while.” “Huh, if you had ter pay de doctor's bill you would él yer mind,” responded Gabe.—[Texas Sifting NOT SO SENSIBLE. “Father,” exclaimed young Jenkins, en- tering the old gentleman's office, “1 have sold my printing off “Sit down, ‘Tom. you are so sensible.” her, I have sold my office, but I have bought another on “Get up, you have lost what little sense you ever did have.”—[Arkansaw ‘Tracler. Tam glad to sce that FORCE OF IHABIT. After communion the minister called a r of the church aside and said to him: * Brother R., a little matter occurred in the course of the communion services this morning to which I think it best to call your attention. I do not think anybody else noticed it, it’s ter of small im- sway, but the force of habit is r in some men than in others, and— interrupted Brother derably nonplussed, ‘* Tam utterly 3 to know what you mean “Why—er—I noticed that after the wine, you surreptitiously clove to your mouth, Brother I sipping PASSED IN BY A PAIL. The small boy omnipresent, above all, cs pecially is this the case when the cir grimage halts by the way and sells pe and lemonade to attract from the mediocrity of the ring performance. It is then that the small boy knows no law, but is a law unto himself. Young is ingeniow Teddy’s sud father, * went losee the circus! did you go to see the z the man wot feeds the lions in if [ would only jes’ carry in one little bit of little bit of a pail of water, without ny water in it. Wouldn't you go to the circus if the man wot feeds the lions would let you in for nuffin?” Now that was an unexpected conundrum which floored the stern parent. [Iartford Post. SS IN THE DAY-TIME unless caused by lack of sleep or from over- iting, is a symptom of d If it be accompanied by general debility, headache, loss of appetite, coated tongue and sallow | complexion, you may be sure that you are suffering from billiousness and can | derangement of thestomach and bowels. Pi s ‘Pleasant Purgative Pellets iy sure cure for all ailments of this nature. They cleanse and purify the blood and re- lieve the digestive organs. prow POWERFUL WATER. Unele Z: Baker of Benton County, is interested in a mineral spring. He had not attempted to introduce a bill offering the spring as an amendment to the constitution, a piece of legislation, though, which may be xpected of him, ‘What is the water good for?” asked the r of the house, ood for everything. spe “( It will cure any yrs in the world. Tell u what's a fact. A feller come along Some time ago with a yaller dog. Ile was the yallerist dog Lever saw, but he fell in that spring and when he came out he was as white as a sheet 7” “‘Tfow is it for rheumatism ?” “T'll tell you what's a fact. know young Alf Wilson? ” at think so.” “Well, Alf had the rheumatiz so bad of the yaller jan Do you ys of the use “BROWN'S IRON BITTERS other Irom medicines da. The Geasioe has above Trade Mark and crumed red lines op wrippe, TAKE NO OTHER. “TY YOUR UW HOME! THE UNITED STATES BUILDING CO, berty Street, w York. cholders and sold on the monthly those who are not share ment. Good nteed, Send for circular BOARD OF TRUSTE) RiKY, Pres't N.Y. 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