Judge — May 30, 1885 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| | | SIGNS OF THE TIMES, The furn Fon Has just driven in a nail And huog this notice over his door: ire dealer over the way And the little Jew tailor fins That all cap read at a glance 2 Moses <s HAM. ABA suear | H\seuas DIT ) THE BEST ING Wor UN FANS And now isthe time to subscribe for Tre Jepoe: For this is the season of year When, according to all learned M. D.'s, tre sure to appear Profitless Scratching. Having failed in business, and having failed to profit by the failure, I wrote to my uncle for advice and pecuniary assistance. ~ ‘To my astonishment he “inswered my nt appeal in person. [greeted him ially, and was about asking after his . when he interrupted m You wanted my advice?” “TL have brought it with me.” Thanks. + You also requested pecuniary aid?” “Pita” “LT have left my pozketbook behind me.” Before 1 could express my annoyance at such un-called-for forgetfulness, he contin- ue ** Do you know why you are a mercantile failure © Bec you must bea genins. author of Hereditary Genins says, *¢ 1 be- lieve that if the eminent men of the period had been changelings when babies, a very fair proportion of those who survived and retained their health to fifty years, would, notwithstanding their altered circumstances, The TH have equally risen to eminence. ‘Thus—to take a strong case—it is incredible that any combination of circumstances could have repressed Lord Brougham to the level of undistinguished mediocrity. If a man is gifted with vast intellectual power, eagerness to work and power of working, I cannot comprehend how such a man should be repressed. ‘The world is always tormented with difficulties waiting to be solved-—strug- gling with ideas and feelings to which itean give no adequate expression, _ If, then, there Cxists a man capable of solving’ those difi- culties, or of giving a voice to those pent-up. feclings, he is sure to be welcomed with universal acclamation. We may almost say that he has only to put the pen to the paper, and the thing is done.” “This bit of condensed wisdom,” contin ued my uncle, throwing himself into a seat, “is capital enough for any young man with brains to start with,” Thad listened in speechless endurance. 1 then ventured to modestly remark that if the ** bit of wisdom ” was framed with certi- tied checks, I thought the young man might start out with more contidence. “Men of genius make their own money,” my uncle’s prompt reply. ‘¢ Fortune certainly favors young Dumas—the success of his * Lady of Camet ht him in the snug little sum of 46, which is about 9,000 of our money, you know.” “Yes,” T grunted; ‘and the Priuce of Wales brought himself to the verge of insan- ity writing a manual for young entomolo- gists,” [ said with intellectual alacrity, ** but it brought him: no pound “Hereditary talent,” said my unele, with a peculiar smile. “His father composed music and wrote songs, Your father was an unusually poor business man, but an excellent poet. Your mother insists that you are agenuine genius—a natural phenomenon. My advice 1s to study carefully the real literature of the day. Read Chaucer, Spen- Shakespeare, Milton, Dryden, Cowper, Pope, Hooker, Byron, Bacon; Taylor, Bar- row, and Johnson, and make a name for yourself in the niche of fame.” “The many fail, the few succeed, is an aphorism old as Adam and as true as steel,” was my reply. “The first article 1 ever wrote brought me in fifty dollars,” said my uncle in a voice of complacent superiority. ‘+ It is said of Voltaire, that if) France could not have existed, he would have created it. You bave no fortune, you must create one. “With what?” “With pen, ink, and paper; allies that never fail to con- quer, if Ted by Genius.” “What shall lI writea- bout--N: ah and his happy family?” I asked with a covert sneer. “My uncle repressed with difficulty a gest- ure of contempt ut this antediluvian idea, but said calmly: . “Why not get out a book on Ophiology and have Eve for the heroine? You must LITERARY ALLIES. he original in thought, perspicuous in style, felicitous in. expression, and practical in result. I will send you pen and paper; also alittle money, Look tothe future as a paradise of hope.” Out went my uncle, and with him went JUDGE. 5 the great expectations that had been accv mulating and growing in my breast ever since | had written him. — His prophetic intimation, however, that I was a genius gave me insidious gratification—bnt the grin that lingered around my uncle’s sardonic countenance as he left the room was neither assuring nor digeatible. However, as I had frequently been boarded with visionary presentiments of having rightfully inherited a post-mortem stock of talent. it was not much of a lash for me to work myself into quite a literary glow. 1 suddenly became a metamorphised creature, and gazed upon the snow-white piles of paper that he had sent, with the burning of one whose untutored instinct unerringly detected the true road to fame and fortune. The working materials were at hand, and the enobling influence of a glass of lager induced me to commence my labor at once. The golden realization was in the dim and shadowy future, bat the foolscap was within arm's length — ably flanked by two great bottles of ink—h ado backed pens, and FORT FEARLESS. of ** blotter Without delay | burrowed into that ream of paper, and in an incredibly short space of time the floor was literary covered with out- pourings of genius! When [stopped to count the sheets und to take another drink of the exhilerating leger, | found to my utter amazement that Thad written 48 sheets. [I was now morally mentally and intellectually convinced there was plenty of material lying dormant in the secret recesses of my brain laboratory, which only required the tish-hook of application to rake out for the benefit of the public. The raw material could be worked up and dis- tributed in neatly arranged parcels of com- pressed eloquence, to the different publishers on the instalment plan. I retired that night with such fascinating contidence in my ability to electrify the pub- lishers in particular, and the reading public in general, that an carthquake would have failed to shake it. The inhabitants of the civilized world were in-blissful ignorance that a genius was rapidly developing with the rising sun, I left my bed at five o'clock and applied my- self with wonderful assiduity to the stupen- 1s undertaking of s ig in both fame nd greenlacks with a pen. Perfectly satis- tied that there was a vast and well-manured field be. fore me. I was in afever of > excite ment to scatter seeds of thought that had spouted during the might, and treat’ the public toan inundation of brand new ideas— to shower them with a modern flood of high-toned, high pressure, and scalp-lifting ideas, moulded into presentable shape by the attrahent hand of a living genius, A WELI-MANURED FIELD. (To be Continued.) comicbooks.com