Judge — May 30, 1885 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. THE BALLAD OF THE HOUSEMAID'S HOSE, Than soft Sud eyes whieh wateh at When ex Ani early morn puts by its prose, Twill to the end boast noth As, last of all, the hoi y rising is effete ¢ the current broad, ni than rain, or snow, or sleet— deep- to sweep et Down tothe curb, F The his retre Phy no refuge know vie ‘ he's forced 1 And, Last of keep, . the housemaid’s bose! Prince Or cleave Tell him to slash whate'e And, first of all, the be arm thy subject A PASSIONATE WOOING. O! say not n (I hope You are th (I really w Let me sing (L hope there's not a mortg: T pray you not pwns the house and lot) honey of my earth der what ‘tis wor to you love's soun Your mother is so kind and dear, where by to bear) JF gentle » (Well, Pin imposing asa Har.) They'll live with us, I pray, my love (Or better turn their toes above.) My (hy Bata ve is not like she's fatter tl per than the she knows enough to L greatest loss yme you are life's (She won't chew gum when Tm the boss). This dainty hand, Of make it mine, won a stiff clothes-line) th dance, (They'll learn the Here isthe + (You would not th art of patehin: ts) say yes in hast nk that diamond paste) Here at your feet again T knock (low nice the baby's crib they'll rock) Accept me dear, turn not away (She'll settle for this time some day). You answer yes, O! life’s sweet fount! (1 hope she’s got a bank account). An Arch-Expounder. A shusetts Sunday-school who had listened to the. stupendoas of that amateur scientist, Rev. Jo: k to illustrate the bible by the use of scientific When carly birds bezin to cheep, And ear): Ho bleat And carly leaves a hiughing pee F pall the trees that line First of the day's first sigh worms anon the street, et F weal OF woes p, and pail, and Phyllis’ feet , last of all, the house-maid’s be wretch who wakes morning's latest sl What wholly, solely swe last must we And so their vig when he watki | facts, concvived the idea of something 0 nalin that line. He thought the m autii= cal principle of the arch would make a beautiful, ingenious, and instructive. illus. tration of the lesson on the goodness of Providence. So he sprung it on. his school, with the following eff Ile first drew on I | which he fondly fanci | bridge, and asked at was. and varied: “A piece of pie, black board a picture looked like London children if they knew The aniwers were prompt scolloped,” a ‘storm at * Skirt-trimming,” and two dressy little girl And finally, by an “Bridge tumblin’® dows + Ah, Gerald has it very ni not mean quite tambling would then?” Ir ttin’ ready to tambl ay just, a bridge, shan’t w Unanimous and vociferous. sile the teacher acknowledged. “Right—Lam always 2 children erect and prompt. in answer: ow, why is not the What holds it up? pinking,” from Jad— imaginative It does What arly. wn. re which little their bridge ud to sce * Mortar,” from half a dozer an behind it holdin’ of it ‘No, none‘of you has discerned the great truth ye Is there anything about the shape of this bridge that holds it up. I the heavy things that pass over it, too— such things x “Fat folkses.” ants” —from a primary. orehlight beeessuns.” that will do. Now w is n hold all this up in the shape | their freckled snub noses ostental of a bride?” A bridy AN truly brid Teacher routed, but gracious—“ No, I will tell you, Itisthe arch of the bridge that makes it stro Did any of you ever under one—me and my Pa. “1 awam . “T got bit by a crabin one of ‘em. taneous shouts of laughter, Yes; that'll do, Tam going selves how strong. an verry qt pon- Now, you dear chil- try your if you'll be the experi- to let arch etand careful during The t son with 700 seats clackin children her now produced his object les- ne empty eggshells and half a —at which the boys on the hack aught with subdued cachlings, nd crowings. Ife showed the how easily a piece of shell could be ernshed by pressure from the inside of its arch, und how it resisted out side pressure. ‘Then he passed the eggs around among the children, confidently challenging them to crash them between their cl hands, ‘The experiment was in the main suce Only two of the eggs were dropped on tl floor and smasked, and Tommy Fitzeomb came to grief in consequence of a big boy tunking ” the with a glass alley and using ‘t to collapse in ‘Tommy's compress- ing hands, Now, dear children, you can perceive the exgs ure very strong. Smell em,” interrupted verul, with ously com- pressed. Carefully ignoring teacher drew ont avery young chichen what [have drawn? Hoste; this diversion, the board his conception of “Who can tell me rooster.” Orstridge.” “ Chickin! bor. The from the intuitive smallest teacher's be the s. hs perspic himself so mucl enmity of his fel! “Shut up! ye? ming congratulation of city caused him to plume to call down on him the Whispered remarks Sed down! eel big, “Oh, come o ete., em sized by insidious kicks and pinche: brought him to earth and the level of society n. ‘Teacher resumed. iy of you ever see how a chicken ‘ay out of its shell? A cyclone of | gy ating digits attested that this, too, “Is the little chicken as big and strong you boys, or a big man like me?” ‘Now, how c one oof these n so weak a thing break n stout boys and annot?” s ritly gives it up. “Could the little chicken break the shell if it were outside?” “ an’ he couldn't get—” droitly cutting off incipient « skepticism Now, dear children, you can all see what a blessing itis to the chicken that he is allowed to break through the arch from the inside. ‘This shows you how good God is for placing the poor little chicken on the inside of the shell, instead of on the outside. So he cares for you by placing you inside of a good home, ‘instead of in the streets. Ifow you ought to love him and your parents and kind Sunday-School teach- ers for this Never forget this, We will now sing. comicbooks.com