Judge — May 23, 1885 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. starbterdeath? [‘clarter wimmin | could hear her heart thumpin’ like a Water- | wid ‘De Lisle Fitzue Brown,’ who was a is gettin’ less ercount ebery sear | bury watch. I thought that meant ‘say the | purfeshional roller skater loafer on a salary [ArKansaw ‘Traveler. | word an’ I'm yourn,” an’ so I said it, but got | of five dollars per week. Ebery day de — left. police judge am sendin’ Zach riah Chandlers, EXPERIENCED. You don'ttell me. How did it happen?” | Roscoe Cronklings, ‘Thomas Jeffersons and “Well, she fired up like a hornet, an’ said Heners W. Longfellows to de jug, an’ ebery it a coachman,” | she would never marry no man what popped ane an’ Bets said a youn ut the door of a | the qu am growill gentleins an avenue. | sp'ilt fish.” “How much experience have you had,” | Well, that beats all. How in the world aske “T understand you w od old names of “Emma an’ Lue contempt wid the female Speakin’ fur de cull’d race alone, the gentleman, did you do it?” dat de fader who rises above. Me referrin’ to a ion as though he | “Thre “Well, [sorter give her hand a little | Samuel or William when huntin’ fara name “Three wh: squet to show her I was cheerful, an’ then | fur his boy baby am coaxin’ biles an’ bunions “Three elopements.”—[Carl Pretzel I says, quite glib-like, says ndy, can | to grow whar dey doan need to. De mudder | | you stomach me?”—[Chicago Ledger. who can’t’ make a sle Catharine, Violet an’ Sarah Jane nee riled if her gal runs off wid a bo ion from Chloe, n't feel | PECIALLY TO WOMEN “ Sweet is revenge especially to women,” | A CHICAGO STA stove-blacker an’ ends up her days in a || said the gifted, but naughty, Lord Bryon « Duniel, have you been drinking garret. Let us now attack de. re | |} Surely he was in bad humor when he wrote | presi & purceedin’s.”—[Detroit Free Press. But there are complaints that only women suffer, that numbers i > us anybody started a distillery near EVERY! " x x | of them down to early g reishope | pores Hees is e es i EVERYBODY TOOK IlOCK who suf how sorel. “Not that I know of. They did not often give dinner-parties, or severely in De. “What, then, is this dreadful smell?” and never gave a large one, but at the little Safe in its action it isa bless | “1 don't know sir, unl reunions to which they did invite tl nd to men, too, for | Tnless what, Daniel?” friends they liked everything the beat. uschold is askew. | «Well, there’s a chicago Alderman out in | on the afternoon of ‘one of their choice the other room, waiting to little fe the host. summoned his boy-in- Ah, there is, eh? Well, Daniel, you | buttons, and said: ‘Now, John, you must || step out and tell him. to go over be careful how you hand around the wine.” town and call me up by telephone. “Yes, si These bottles with the blac [Chicago News, | scals are the best, with the red seal the in- ferior sherry. The best sherry is for after | Prescription. ing, especially to women | when women suffer, the I SHE WOULD NOT HAVE ME. “ And so she wouldn't bh “ Indeed she wouldn’ * How'd that com “Well, Isat down ve you?” le of her and took her by the hand, as I heaved a sigh too] * © © © Organic weakness or loss of = a || deep to sound,” rin either sex, however induced, speedily A § HATOH & 60 | How was that? permanently cured. Enclose three letter WD, . It didn’t make noise enough. stamps for book of particulars. World's BANKERS, T always do my sighin’ in‘ardly, s iy. an? © | Dispensary Medical Association, Bnifalo, j f= C through my nose to hide my breath.” neyoy mens SINAE De, ESET, NO. 5 NASSAU ST, “ Well, what then? DEALERS IN U.S, BONDS AND OTHER “T felt her hand flutter in mine, an’ I DESIRABLE SECURITIES. | NOTHING IN A NAME. ALL MARKETABLE STQCKS AND BONDS BOUGITE AND SOLD ON COMMIS. “I veribly believe,” said Brother Gardner, | SION. AT) TUE NEW YORK STOCK EX. || dat de foolishness of surtin parents in tyin’ = x He Tish 5 names to deir offsprings has cloud AGTINE STOCKS. AND BONDS LISTED AT: ‘a THEN. Y STOCK EXCHANGE BOUG AND wrecked many lives. De ole man who was | Sond ON MARGIN shovelin’ snow nex 1 tome the other day | ne was named Henery Clay. It. was on the | VEST ME: ideah dat he would make a mighty smart | SOLD DIE Fracase eet | man, bat the minit he got ‘nul t PRICES N Dreggists Recommend & L OSITS RECEIVED AND INTE! who'an’ what Clay was he pulled right bac POSITS : BROWNS | te contan't nebber git dar, an” he knowd it, | ALLOWED ON BALAN Instead of bein’ addressed as Henery C! : — | everybody calls him ‘Hank Dirt,” an’ he’s j j j | 2 TRON seescien die. cvce.2) ann Sua Liteon Gu Some y’ars ago a naybur o’ mine named B ] TT E R S his baby ‘Washirgton Lincoln Grant Smith.’ | | ——STEAM LITHOGRAPHIC PRINTERS:— Ile war bound to fill dat hoy che full o° end oy npaene tren to depen military Eerie and statesman hip, bat - inl ies eiestvand hile wasn’t four y'ars old befo’ he realized ommas, Heartbarn, dat it was too steep. Ie hadn’t reached ten befo’ he was a thief an’ a liar, and de odder day he went to prision for burglary. De Ble, stumlates tos name was too long fur de paul : to grapple wid, an’ so he was called *\ rant.” YOUNG MEN!-READ THIS, of Marshal ERCHOIC cE, IN- wed Write them at oni circulars, Later on it got to be * Washbo; an’ by nee de name of Washboard Smith he am reg- | i} ‘Open day andere: | istered on de prision books. | uings PEER &CU,, ath Street. “T has scen Prime Minister Jones drawin’ 324, 326 and 328 Pearl St.. ‘ a swill cart around, while clus behind him, a CANDY : = leading a aller dog by a piece of clothes- —sew youn — Side te Tine, came Montmorenci Stubbins, I has sides, «GUNTHER, | seen Queen Catherine Rivers at the wash- pear TSeyeneny Weheee . | tub, while the Princess Bienville was a hang- ewer in’ out de clothes far her. I has white- By pares | washed on the some job with Czar Jackson, Ths, jist nor enim we hae “tof and some ot us | an’ T has blacked stoves alongside of George C CONS N S U M PT 0 N. the funniest b " de Fo’th Bones. fie rote “De white folks am jist as bad, an’ it ing dealers really dose me good to see by de papers dat siteinsaarwo notice stuermiinev ae P.O. Sox 2 ‘Hortense Victoria Clark’ has skipped out press 6 F.O-adurean: Di Poa SLOCUM, ia Pearse E comicbooks.com