Judge — May 23, 1885 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. The Sport's Diagnosis. + Hello, Billy be I'm in} What * Doctor didn’t know, Said I'd die. I knew bette: “Tow juno? “Knew I'd get well’s ns. Ts M ent me the money on all my. billia Il in silver, too; fora col, saw that, I knew it e for the bette * 1. DISCOVERY. Aldermanic Discharge. +L KNow my duty, aid Alderman Oilimpam, “and I have been injured in the discharge of i Hat” e imed Fibbett: iraid of it. I've seen you loaded ofte and thought it was time for you to go off, | but I didn't know it wasduty. Thought it| was whiskey.” * Abt Not that Man, another Man. A fashionable young lady was asked if she w nawered {not personally, onhimact.” ‘The enquirer gently remarked that the Irving he meant wa: Washington, “Oh!” was the reply, didu’t know that Washington ever acted.” a literary 3 “| next fall with a ever. ger opera troupe Ah, me unhappy country! UNEXPECTED, “Mp! No ‘Count. ArpLe stand Italian, making on the corner. Noble explanation to fashionable young lady. “Ah! Mees, [am only zee Count, vis ma es confiscate in Italia.” Young Lady—*Oh! you're no account. Counts are out, and coachmen are in.” 3. INGENUITY, “1'U soon bag him! inted with | THE BEST POLICY. “Ls the editor int “I fso, U've a little bill "— * Good Ls the devil replied. “The editor's very ill.” 1, ma'am, not Then tell him, ple The bill for ths that T called to pay per | VWeom e other day, If the mone t spent “Hold, hold! 1 the devil with a yell, As she passed out through the door; “Twaslying! The editor's perfectly well "— But he never saw her more. Thes Is plain enougl J, of this, my reader forsooth, Don't go to lying until its clear You can't make as much out of truth. om Appts We count In | the slow old times a month meant simply | 30 days, but now we have a Century in M and ninety ¢ extension ona note seemeth but as yesterday | We live in deeds, not sears. our time by events, not by the calendar. 7. TRICMPH. Slightly damaged, but atilt in the ring.” comicbooks.com