Judge — May 16, 1885 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ON THEIR REPORTED INEPFICIENCY ‘Tur, poct of the Afghan wars At the tom-tom’s first alarms, Kters his He boa sh ray goose quill, because sts no deadlier arms! Gainst war's ruce spell he arms him well With dictionaries’ twain, And a war-map, wherein none can tell A mountain from a plain! Mere cash he cares for ( el not loose the chance d with a pightin nich of Hafiz’ romance shmere’s vale, Yet this ‘The bu vutiful warble And rhymes Herat with Reli-khat And Kabool"s the Ameer of Cabul! Cease trying. poet, all perverse Tete East to sean, ile poet stumps his toe at 1s in your verse are worse » Afghanistan! Good Tidings. Oh, be Joyful! Boys, young men, middle-aged men, ladies, mid is drawn at * young ladies.” d line,” t beyond which no ale women ever has the temerity to go. all those mentioned, please lend me rears. for I bring good tidings unto m. Know ye, friends, Romans and countrymen, so to speak, that if you love the study of the ‘* Milky W: nd outly- ing regions of sun- and star-studded space; or think you would, if you possessed the instraments requisite to the satisfactory study, of the universe, with its multiplicity of sparkling and dazzling spheres, which study with the naked eye is altogether unsatisfac- tory; in fact, no study at all, but simply a view from which all enchantment is tak by the immense distance intervening bet we you and theo unlike many vie to which distance lends enchantment. Know ye, all who would delight to employ the night in at the bright and blazing clusters of worlds around us whirli that the cost of a tele need not deter you from enjoying the inspiriting supernal panorama. No, my friends, you need no longer deprive yourselves of these gorgeous nocturnal sights for lack of t ppes; for I have it straight from the Sau’s astronomer, that a really ‘fine instrament, powerful enongh for the purposes mateur, may be purchased for the ins wnt sum ¢ 10 or $300, larger ones in pro- vortion.” ‘There, aren't these good tidings? f not, why not, pray? Who should be without a telescope, when for the paltry sum named one could be the or of the instrument, and wade very night through the sea of uy of rmlessly (0 without stop; the lin Iti fe W stars, the about him nO family should be without strument being within the at $200 or $300, larger ones in pe, ui, proportion. The young fellow earning eight dollars as bookkeeper, paying five dollars for board, who has the love of celestial sight-seeing in his soul, will now rush in where heretofore he feared to tread, and secure a telescope for Wor $300, a larger one in proportion, and devote the silent watches of the night to star-gazing, the sight of the clustered gemsof the empyrean affording him more satisfaction MAKING THE Switu—‘* J say, Chappy, old follow, that’ know?” Browsx—* Ves, rather nice; yer know. belongs to my wife. Never allow her to rereive anything Lean't wear—fellow sent her a tortoise shell BEST OF IT, 's duced nice scarf-pin you're wearing, yer Some old flame of hers, sent to her; comb other day and T made her return inemediately.” ht of all the mundane “stars” that flash cintillate in Gotham’s theatres from one year's end to another, Phere is nothing so captivating and awi inspiring as a plunge into the ultra mundane among the blazing and whirling worlds, suns, moons, stars, asteroids, comets intact and disrupted, meteors and other splendors of ethereal space; skipping from one to another, millions of mi independant of steam, electricity, motor, or any other known inundane motive power whatever. Yes, most awe-inspiring indeed, and soul- enthusing. But yon can’t plunge deeply to this ultra-munda: ocean, with its lands of light, and skip from one isle of | tou rwith the naked eve, and than would the do just mines ether, or to thes: yours which revels only in the maximum of geousness and sublimity. No, my friends, this can’t be done with the na eve. You must equip that mi sitting man- ner for the plunge and skip. Must bring to its aid a telescope of as many diameter power as yon can sceure, when such a sphere of wonders, countless and transcendent, will open to your astonished gaze, as will drive all thoughts of your last. week’s board bill and your last year’s tailor’s bill ont of vonr enraptured mind; and you couldn't tell ther you were on foot or horse Certainly om from such thoughts as these is not lightly to be ¢ sidered or passed by as nothing gained, For | I consider it, indeed loud call eee, larger sweet and prec triumph for a for tele ones in proportion. Then let us “0 be joyful”—all of us « humble means, but great astronomical incli- nations, not, happily, confined to the moneyed circle—and “exceedingly thankful that the day and the hour brings within the reach of all, fine telescopes at $200 and $3800 1 piece, larger ones in proportion, Let no home, however humble, that har- bors within its narrow confines one wh would explore the regions of ether, whe multitudinous worlds beyond world: vast distances, stretch away into the illimitabl no such home be without a fine teles 5 a mere bagatelle which nbe picked from any bush—will secure proportinate price for a larger one, Think of it, my fri and co-delvei the field astron 1, when you go supper- less to bed to-night—rent day to-morr and no shot in the locker—that the da; honr is on when you can buy a fine tele: for $200 o $300, a larger one in proporti and then to sh am of bursting con cts and things—celestial pyrotechnic Lup in the morning and go buy one before breakfast and they all are gon 1 don’t t, buta fine telescope er one In proportion, tit. ats Do. 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