Judge — May 9, 1885 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. ployesnoy ¥,,—113NU09J0 “SLIM LN30IS3Hd | ane ‘| THE WONDER OF HEALING! <9 CURES CATARREH, REEUMATISM, NEURAL = == OIA, SORETHROAT, PILES, ‘WOUNDS, s s HEMORRHAGES, FEMALE COMPLAINTS, &c. £2. Bred Internal Externally. Prices Soe. $1,417. = 'S EXTRACT C0.,76 Sth Avo., New York, BEHNING FIRST CLASS Grand Square & Upright PIANOS. W. (4th St. & 129 B. 126th Se. B.corner 124 at. and i we York. Franklin Square Lithographic CO. ——STEAM LITHOGRAPHIC PRINTERS: —— 324, 326 and 328 Pearl St.. EW YORK, PERFECTION MAGIC LANTERNS. Best Quality. Latest Improvements. Travel around the World in your Chair. Their compact form and accurate work particularly ‘adapt them for Home Anasement. With a rE outlay a comfe may te 6 able living VLE W order. ‘Sled tor Cataionve. ‘ NEW YORK ELAS- TIC TRUSS CO., 744 Broadway, New York, WEAK AM. aia duress Dide $4 SLOCUM, FeallBU Be E * | pounds, do you?” asked a “ clien judge with a perplexed look, sai “But Ido not comprehand, Webster, how it was possible for you to steal those chickens when they were roosting right under the owner’s window, and there were two vicious dogs in the yard.” Tit wouldn't do yer a bit of good, jedge, for me to ’splain hole cotched dem chickens, for yer couldn’t do hit yerself if yer tried hit forty times, and yer might get yer hide full of buckchot de berry fust time’ yer put yer leg ober de fence. De bes way for you todo, jedge, is fur yer to buy yer chickens in de market, and when you wants ter commit any rascality do hit on de bench whar you am at home.”—[Texas Siftings. SCOTCH DYSPEPSIA Minks—‘ Yes, sir, 1 have oatmeal on my table every morning. I consider it the most wholesome, most——” Jinks—* But here, Minks, don’t you know that oatmeal is the principal dish in Scotland, and that country isa nation of | dyspe eptics? ef Toh, it’s not the oatmeal that causes dys- pepsia over there.” “Why, what is it?” “The bagpipes.” —[ Philadelphia Call. RATHER RAPID, “So you are a stenographer?” “ Yes, sir.” “T should think it would be very dificult to take down everything a speaker says.” “It’s not so hard when you understand it, | I was reporting a speech the other day, and I thought I would just try and see how fast I could report, and, will you believe it, none of the speakers could follow me.” [Texas Siftings. THE HEIGHT OF RESPECTABILITY “ You say this lady has twelve th a Mat. | rimonial Ager Yes,” replied the manager; ina galloping consumption,’ i “wy, ow ‘re sure of the latter fact, are you?” ” rejoined the manager, drawing him- self up to his full height, and with a dignity worthy of Pecksniff himeelf, “this is a re- spectable office, I would have you know, and we warrant our articles.”—[F “and she’s PREPARING FOR FUTURE POSSIBILLITIES. Young Man—* Your daughter has referred me to you, sir.” Old Man—* All rigbt; you have my con- sent. Is that all you want?” Young Man—‘* Well—er—one thing more T would like to ask, 5 If I should present your daughter with a diamond engagement- ring would you be willing to—er—give me a receipt for it, in ca nt should happen.” —[Si “THROW PHYSIC TO THE DOGS” when it is these old-fashioned blue mass, blue pill sort, and insist on using Dr. Pierce’s “Pleasant Purgative Pellets,” a modern medical luxury, being small, sugar-coated granules, containing the active principles of certain roots and herbs, and which will be found to contain as much cathartic power as ay of the old-fashioned larger pills, w out the latter’s violent, drastic effects. pellets operate thoronghly but harmles: establishing a permanently healthy action of the stomach and bowels, and as an anti- billious remedy are unequaled. Sage BUY YOUR TINH HOME! TWECNITED STATES BUILDING, New York. aod sold on the monthly jeway & Witte RR, Cleft Rastneer, 2 Liberty Street, N.Y. b, Capttallst, Albany, N.Y, Wrssaw M, © Pres't and Treas, Elizabeth Wittaw AL Dose N.Y. Sopres Court! New ¥ Je Adirondack Railway, ¥. OFFICE Cras. Ro Eantey + Winans il Doxixetox Raymonp L. Doxxent. Davin W. Krxe Wintiam ©, ALnERGER NEAT AND ELEGANT BOOK BINDING. SUECIMENS OVE LAFAYETTE BROOKLYN. BRANCH I You WANT. CANVASSFR'S JAMIE 14 De pm as Th wD WORK AT 1 IMISSION, AND BOF St PILES! PILES! PILE Cured without Knife, Powder ors charge until eured DR. CORKINs comicbooks.com