Judge — May 9, 1885 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. THE OFFICE SEEKERS INQUIRY. STANDING IN LIN! Tell me ye winged winds ‘That round my pathway roar, Do ye know sot ‘e fat Within the White House doort Some vacancy to fill, Some position ia the West, Where free from toil and pa My weary soles may rest ‘The loud winds dwindled to a whisper low And sighed for pity as they answered, No! ON THE BANKS OF THE POTOMAC, pu migh y deep billows near me p Do you know some consul-ship To bear me far away? Where miserable man may tind ‘The pay for which he sighs, With duties light and salaries big, ath those foreign skies? rolling in perpetual flow, Stopped for a while to answer, TO CLEVELAND, And thou, serenest ma Who with thy quiet face Doth look upon us all alike, Poor mortals in the race, Tell me! in all the list Of offices yet around, Hast thou, please sir! a post office For me dear sir, yet found? nd a book that face withdrew in we Auda voice, sweet but firm, responded, ) TO TIMSELP, Tell me, my secret soul, Filled with a bitter pain, Is there no carthly recompense For waiting here in vain? Is there no happy spot Where [may gain my quest? From waiting all these weary weeks To find at last sweet rest? Faith, Hope, ides to those that roam, Waved their bri home.” nd Love, best nt wings and whispered—" Yes, go (Hartford Post THE MODERN SHAKESPERE, “Tlenrico, love! "Tis eaid that smiling wealth doth once again give promise to the land.” - “Go to, Andromeda! go more than to, if thon dost link such doings unto wealth, ‘These promisory things, ingenious Bin, be- speak not wealth, an’ Ido know myself.” “But here be symptons for thee, donbt- ing dog ‘This morn I saw Vincezzo Fazio with vestments new as is the season young, and had the goods but garnished him with smiles the dolt no more vain glorious could be.” “Ah! Poor Vincezzo! "Tis with him the annual epoch of requited pride. His Winter gabardine no more in use, he doth with Count Simpsoni make exchange, and these | be affidavits of the same.” ** But look thee, sire! whence come the: rich apparelings that yester morn saw flaunt- ing from the pew of Breejia Maloir? No tropic-pheasant ever smote with gand the ambient air, as flamingly as she, and yet they say she hath plebian birth, “ And such is the truth, indeed, Androme- da, But wist ye net that these be rinsing times, when cleunliness doth have its annual food, and artisans to soap and water wed are ‘toxicate with Crovsus, revenue?” oho! =‘That likens reason, good me But wherefore can it be that Senor issori, who doth in common wear a tut- tered smock and galligaskins eloquent of | years, doth now in golden chariot wing the | plaza through and chuckles ‘neath his velvet | drapery re Fie on thee for a folly-flirt_ indeed, an’ thou know’st not that Senor Scissori doth own the Semi-Weekly Maccaroon, au’ that there now to him doth culmina basket revenue surpassing rich? the vernal poet doth dis healthy but predestinated pus, and not a sanctum in the printer’s world but has more fuel for the | man’s maw than all humanity doth else pro- | duce, "Tis with this merchandise he doth at times make good pretence to riches, as. thou seo’st, an’ yet there be those in the land, sweet child, will tell the poetry doth bear no fruit.”"—-[ Yonkers Gazette. © waste "Tis now | | OYEZ! OYEZ! | \ live without dress—what is fashion but lying | She may live without beaux—what is courting but hout smiles—what is laughter but grinning? But where is the woman ean live without "chin ning?” | | {St. Paul Hera —The best thing out—a big fire. [Bloomington Eye. —He owns the Grand 'Trunk—Jumbo, [St. Paul Herald. —Motto for boot-blacks: After the rain comes the shine.—[Texas Siftings. | —Boston is aswell city. But that’s the | way with beans,—[St. Paul Herald. —‘* What is to be done with our calves?” asks an agricultural editor. Walking has a good effect.—[Philadelphia Call. —Ilens are very exclusive; at least each one likes to stick to her own set. [Texas Siftings. —Contract buildings in New York are now called ** Khartoums.” They fall so easily. {Norristown Herald. —There isa paper called Threr States. We presume the principal nntriment of the editor is R. I. Wis. Ky.—[St. Paul Herald. — Kidnapped, or gone to Washington,” is what is said of a St. Louis citizen who suddenly disappears, [New Orleans Picayune. —The human mould-—the corset.--[Water- loo Observer. The corset is human in another respect. It is very often tig [Saratoga —Cleveland is going to buy a carriage horses, notwithstanding Jeffersonian simplicity calls for a yoke of steers. [Merchant Traveler. —Germans are now experimenting on the manufacture of an oleomargarine Limburger cheese. They have secured everything but the smell.—[New Orleans Picayune. —Doctor—‘* It is nothing but an attack f dyspepsia.” = Wife—** And what does that come from, doctor?” ~Doctor—That comes f-om the Greek, madam.”—[Harper’s Bazar, rens animals are said to be the long- lived. The person who started this state- 13 ment must have g with the jokes,—[ Philadelphia als mixed inscript, When was Rome built?” inquired the teacher, In the night sir!” “In the night! How do you make that ou + Why, sir, you know Rome wasn’t built in aday!—[Philadelphia Call. —lIgnatius Donnelly 1} cipher in Shakespeare's 1 works. Great Scott! how far back do these Demo- cratic frauds run, anyway? [Philadelphia Transcript. discovered a ‘Theatrical manag: do not like to give performances in Ilouston or Galveston, Those cities being seaports the managers are afraid of being wrecked on the hight houses. —[Texas Siftings. —Many theatrical managers have had to foot the bills of an unprofitable season, but many more actors have had to foot the territory lying between the p of their last appearance and their homes. [Philadelphia ‘The old lady who asked for a gold ring sixteen parsnips fine, was probably related to the elderly gentleman who said his daughter was attending the conversatory of m a.co-laborer in the vineyard of truth. [Bloomington Eye. ‘Transcript. —A Texan, who has lived for years among the cowboys, says that many of them are graduates of eastern colleges. Judging from the ungrammatical language usually attributed to cowboys by the newspapers the statement is altogether probable.—[ Graphic. —It certainly does look very much as if Cleveland had surprised a mimber of dis- tinguished politicians while they were in swimming, and had gone off with their clothes. ‘They certainly do not show fany great desire to come out just yet. [Texas Siftings. —A good example of the manner in which which students who are ‘in’ for several subjects at the time get their ideas mixed, is that of the youth whe question, “Who was Esan?” rephed, ‘Esau was a man who wrote fables, and sold the copyright for a bottle of potash. [Bloomington having to answer the —William H. Vanderbilt's lish an amateur monthly. paj by mi undsons pub- called the y think such a pastime is y but a few years hence, when they make their paper a daily to fill long felt’ want, they will find that it isa more Serius matter.— [Norristown Herald. —The craze on electrical study is Legin- ning to bear fruit, “+ Are you the condue- tor?” asked a small boy on an excursion train. “1 am,” replied. the courteous of- ficial, and myname is Wood.” * Oh, that 1id the boy, “for wood is a non- '—[ Philadelphia Call, * he conductor, —Rev. Mr. Gifford, of Boston, condemns the skating rink **bccanso it isa thing of ire solely.” Another good man gor If the reverend gentleman was to a game of polo on roller skates, he would wonder why the playe if they sought pleasure, didn’t engage in planting potatees or sawing wood, or turn their at- tention to some other amusement that didn’t call for so much hard work, [Norristown Herald. —Throngh the telephone—* Is that you, doctor?” ** Yes; who is it?” — ‘* Mrs. Me- rony. © doctor! w II do for the comicbooks.com