Judge — April 25, 1885 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TH TATUE OF LI TY TO COLUMBIA Conemmta, what's the matter there? There's something wrong, Ido declare. Your papers say you eer must be The boasted he Yet on your shore, that famed retreat Thave not where to set my feet jiberty and so it is, ke th my brazen cheeks abi It's very ha, A welcon It My torches’ To find the T haven sh t wanes toa flush land stand on your ¢ My ticket’s bought, my trunk is checker I'm coming, thot My nam you don't expect nig your battle sign re relatives of mine f you saw shelter at_your ly within your mans yand kindly «I Can't you give me at all events, A place to sit upon the fence? THE ORIGIN OF “CHESTNUTS.” Opinions of Experts on the Castanaceous Problem, Epiton or THe Jcpoe.—lI see that the daily papers are airing their ignor- ance as to the origin of the term “chestnut” nonym foran old joke. My grand- or, Who was an aide-de-camp to General ton, and often held his he for him, told me that the reference originated as long ago as then. At Valley Forge the patriot army got out of provisions and the commissary general issued a lot of mouldy chestnuts which the foragers had captured. It was esteemed a joke of the continental congress and after that all exceptionally bad rations were sardonically grinned at; and the financial measures of the Congre: “shinning.” we would call them now—were laughed at as ** more chestnuts.” ours Truly VETERAN OBSERVER, To tue New York, April Ist Constantinople, April Ist. Epitor or The Jupce.—Why do we laugh at a joke? What is the difference be- tween a horse chestnut and a chestnut horse? Is this old? If itis, then it’s a chestnut— without the horse, and that’s a ‘horse on you,”—which of course, is a joke. If I say a basso profundo utters chest notes, it is not “chestnuts,” is it? The quality has nothing todo with it, but the ag JuDGE is entitled to great credit for under. taking to solve this great problem. EVENING ROOSTER. ‘THE JUDGE. impossble to ascertain the origin of “chest- nut” as that of the thing it is applied to. Possibly because the supply of that farina: | ceous nut is never exhausted,always is in de- mand whatever its age, and with a fair out- side often turneth to smoke and ashes in the mouth. , and turneth bitter in the belly, is the meaning ot the parable. Perhaps, because the meaning of asad, sad joke had to be climbed after and when you have shioned up it, my boy, you will’get your fingers pricked and find that the Burs hold only blasted old jokes. T enclose five cents to start a JUDGE pedestal fund as an illustration of a che: nut. BURR D’ETTE. New Haven, April Ist, Jvpor—Yours, asking “ what is a chest- nut?” received. My answer will be sold by subscription only at $15 MARK ON PERSENT. eremit $5 and 2 cent postage M. 0. | MB. Ple | for this answer. | Toledo, April 1st Your Hoxor—I know a chestnut when yousce it. A man’s swearing off occasional- ly is an illustration. CRUDE KEROS | Washington, April Ist. | deparn—Is not Dr. Mary Walker a chest- nut—dry, hard, bad to taste, has a maggot, | and is the played-out joke of everybody. BILL WAYOFP. JrGce.—I cal’late that whether a joke is hid inthe bur of a no man can tell chessnut or not ’z long ’z it’s pricky dialect. Chessnuts always oughter be served country style, lan- guidge an’ spellin’. The quicker you make your mind that old jokes sell the best if dished right, the quicker you'll begin to make money and be kalled “a philosopher, instid of only a phool. JOSHUA WAN Tr is said that members of the legislature coming to New York as smelling committees, think they are inhospitably treated and that the press make light of them, iuess_ not. Nature took order for that long ago. Most of them seem dry enough to make light of, though, What did Geoffry Chaucer? MOONLIGHT ON THE Os the breast of the Erie whose weird waters ripple From Buffalo's bluffs to the Hudson's West Shore Where canallers have sprees und their tangle-foot tipp Where they drabble the decks of their vessels with ge Where mules are the tools, either red white or yellow, To yank the staunch ships towards the East or soul floats all night on the billow— the scene of my poem so blest long left “Old Bu City” Was far in our wake w And heard someone sin witty, T," and the fair “Flower n Lwoke from a snoo: song he t Concerning 4 vessel that left Syracuse, Tt was in Swinburne’s style; that is, all sound and metre, ‘The sense in the verse wa # thing bard to guess, Though every verse balanced like some see-saw teeter, But the substance was slush and not anything “Diamond Nell” is the pride of the Syracuse sailors The soll 1 boat and the solidest crew, They never pay bills, either grocer’s or ta Or work where there is any lors, shirking to do. From the Salt Central City we go to the From the river again to thi But ne'er will we fret cither Wh ver, ity we go, izzard or liver mule yet can pull or a tug boat can tow Arise, thou fair moon, full g And gild every w We will ad fair rise above us, in the waters below and dream of the I je here ics. who love us, While the mules on the shore shall unceasingly tow Arise, Queen of Ni In might and in ms Give G ‘Twixt the moon Port Byron L heard a weird voice in the silence of night, T knew cussed well ‘tw Nor was it “Twas t in thy serapbine splendor, ia Jet thy lovely tug to the tides like a leather suspender, es a tug to the buttons of kids about nine b shine; (and marsh just this side of snoozer or sire ut for a fight © from lake and from sprite who and Nepti pereid: n Who had ¢ So I took up the jug ne to inspect oF protect the old diteh, nd y drank to the health of the we Witch ured cack, potion And w Water But the song swiftly ceased and to nothing did mmer As a storm from the be long, light of lank Luna grew dis I must close this Swinburn ron Charles Swinburne, you big ters, * You master of metre Keep your cl bette South struck our vessel And uh And he ly dimmer, A nd scribler of slush, n closed on Byron & Co., they're your Where did T. 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