Judge — April 11, 1885 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MOSTLY LI Sat Jones, “1 hardly ever ride, | For croysded cars I can't abide, And carriages I do despi Lam so fond of exerci: “1 bring + For noisy res Besides, I'd spoil my For dinner when Um U Said Brown, “I'm tough An overcoat, 1 do dec Ido not feel the cold lik Half-frozen cha ny lunch,” id Smith, elate, rants I hate: petite at [never wear ys weighed down with clothes.” er touch ei 1s." Green spoke, stuff unfit to smoke; comfort rip briar pipe.” y're mad For health fulness ¢ Give me my frag And so we all apologize And make excuses. Because we ¢ We go without to mostly lies — ot say with sense uve expense, [Troy Times VERY FAITHFUL. Miss Nonns—I supposed you would be very gay this winter, having inherited all that wealth; but, of course, T was thought- less, It is not long since your rich uncle died?” Miss Dobbs—* No; only three months.” “Oh! is that all? Then I suppose you on.” The estate is not settled yet, : no clothes.” [Philadelphia Call. won't go out before next s “T fear not. and we ha MARRIAGE IN ARIZONA. “Do ke this woman whose hand you're a squeezin to be your lawful wife, in flush times an’ skimp?” eT reckon that’s about the size of it, Squire.” “Do you take this man you've jined with tobe your pard through thick an’ thin ins Well, you're about right, for once, old man.” “All right, then. Kiss in court, an’ I reckon you're married about as tight as the law kin j'ine you. [guess four bits ‘Il do, Bill, if | don’t have to kiss the bride. If I do, it’s six bits extra.”—[Chicago Ledger. Ose Cext a Cur—W. Baner & Co.’s Breakrast Cocoa, while it is the most healthful, strengthening, and invigorating drink, is also the most economical, costing less than one centacup. It is warranted absolutely pure, and is recommended by emi- nent physicians for its highly nutritive qualities, and is unsurpassed as a delicious beverage. Baker's Chocolate and Cocoa preparations have been the standard of purity and excellence for more than one hundred years. GUESS HE'D BEEN THERE BEFORE. He was a western senator, not us fashionable ways, and was a guest at a Wash- ington ball, Entering a brilliantly lumi- nated suite, he suddenly stopped, backed vard the door, and in horrified tones ex- med: “ My stars, I’ve made a mistake.” “My dear Senator Blank,” said the host- ess, hurrying toward him, ‘* What is the matter? You look ill.” “Oh, nothing, nothing, only Iam such a dolt I came very near entering this apartment | by mistake. the way to the ball-room,”” | opposed the bill. THE Ple parde “Why, Senator, this What did you think it was “The—the ladies dressing-room,” mured the se: ator, moppi from his bro .—[Philade JUDGE. on me and show me the ball-room, —Tue Arkan ame law, an enactment step toward civilization, One Speaker, this here law from hunting in August. for our people, not havi will have to go to work. [Arkansaw Travele — An, Brown!” his friend on exe State quite a fortune, | suppos when they came to look i found he wasn't worth funeral expenses.” Fogg w Legislature has street the “understand your partn mur- ing the perspiration Iphia C: assed a which is a ** peart” Several gentlemen man said: ‘* Mr. will keep a fellow This isa calamity g anything to do, imed Fogg, meeting her day; is dead. Le! ” Brown—No, nto his affairs, they enongh to pay his 0? And you had been in company with him only three years. Brown, you're a [ + my little mai stopped and patted a Hev on the head “have you “Yes, sir: go only one that ‘mounts to the urchin.—[Brooklyn ‘ —"«Is enthusiastic member of Rifle Club, as the boys wi at their beautiful painted ey pretty,” assente the Far W “Tt rem College commencement I “Strange,” muttered th y, why r commencemen s such ab misses, It’s no secret that Dr. Extract of Smart-Weed i genuine French Brandy. Smart-Weed and JJ Camphor Essence, and ce the best remedy yet knows cholera morbus, bloody-flux, or to break inflamatory attacks. — 4( gists. remarked an old and sig! does our shoot remind you of replied the stranger, dodg back street.—[ Philadelphia diarrhoa, lucky do. Boston Tr nscript. n, good morning,” entleman, as he wes street little boy any brothers and t four, but I'm the anything,” replied Time: exclaimed an Lowell Press the ere peppering aw: get. ed a stranger from inds me of a Vassar once attendec ve journalist, suspic- tiful coliection of ng intoa ‘all. Pierce’s Compound s composed of best distilled Extract of a Ginger Root, with pnstitutes therefore, 1 for colic or cramps, dysentry or up colds, fever and deents. By drug: SPRING FI Finst Bov—"* What wick?” Seconp Bov—"* You don't an’ git up agin the same day, @ r you sittin’ dah? Is EVER. pee a feller ter sit dinen ayer?” —Bob Ingersoll is neat but not Gods. [Texas Siftings —A regular penshunner- write.—| ‘Texas Siftings, one who can't —Like the worm, the roller skate will turn when trod on.—| Merchant Traveler. —Cleveland has a very has not a silvery ring. {Carl Pretzel's Weekly. of the but it —Jonah was the first Secretary Interior, and Lamar is the last one. [Carl Pretzel’s Weekly. A young man asks if it is unlucky to get only idioti Iphia Call. eneral this ecounts for the hes to the rink. [St. Paul Herald. —Ex-President Arthur may have been a stickler for etiquette, but everybody knows he kept his Hatton in cabinet meetings to the last.—[St. Paul Herald. —I notice back-sliding is more year than ever before, ‘This general opposition of pres —-Politics makes strange bed-fellows, and civil service reform is its pillow sham.— [Phil. Call] And the fellow who swears the loudest at the the hungry Demoe: villow sham these days is ut. —[St. Paul Herald. —It is estimated that the total expense in- curred in the Inaugural celebration amounts to #15,000. Imagine Jefferson, after riding up to the Capitol on horseback, slinging the YOUNG MEV:-READ THE. incurred as for illus BROWN’SIRONBITTERS WILL CURE HEADACHE, BILIOU MALARI IMPURE BLOOD, CONSTIP, INFIRMITL RHE FOR SALE BY ALL DRUGGISTS. The Genuine has Trade Mark and cromed red lines on wrapper. TAKE No OTHER, IN Madison &t PERFECTION MAGIC LANTERNS. Best Quality. Latest Improvements. ‘Travel around the World in your Chair, | Thefr compact form and accurate work particularly fedapt them for Home At With a PEW DOLL ans’ ont! {comfortable living may be earned. S9-VIEWS In stock and Sled for Catatogue SRT a Vou comicbooks.com