Judge — March 21, 1885 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. The Dying Flora. Wirnty th A cheerful And on the breakfast table stood A nickel H The china shown with many hues, Blue reeds and golde The table was w open grate I saw burn, storl I this luxury around, Ob! why dees Flora si; And what has brouzht the pearly drop That sparkles in her eye? It's not the price of butcher's meat, It's not the rise in bread It's not Free Trade at trouble F' For s| And And her perfec Is stylish, rich, + polities heal. ¢ has a seal-skin mantle, aris bonnet, ty ting costume I new; How many poor who walk the street Would sit in Flora’s place, Without the heavy shade of care ‘That rests upon her face For she has e That can be And has, as far as we can ju ought by we th, and he man from the cit Jy youth and tall Has placed himself, without reserve, At Flora’s beck and call and yc Her Papa always stands to her In tickets a And never say No matter how she flips, Ani she'll ruin him, ) matter what she spen in trips, say And never wants to close the door On any of bet friends And yet, now turns she to Papa With horror in her eye, And, hanging on to his cravat, bs, * Papa, E must di He clears his throat and pa And says, “No, no, my pet, You're looking pretty, young, and well, You need not die just yet s her back, But comfort could not reach her heart, And all that she could say, Was, * Papa, do not grieve for me, I'll die this very day; Whisper, dear Papa, never tell My grief and my despair, I found three grey hairs in my bang— I'll have to dye my hair Wues a gallant captain asks his girl for a kiss, what does she say? Only one word—“ Officer! ” (Oh! fie, Sir.) department has been ve: Cause of His Depression. “Wat a solemn looking man over there!” said a Murray Ilill lady to her hus- band, at the theatre, the other night, ‘what ails him?” “Oh, that’s Peters; he’s engaged on one of the papers here. He says business in his dull lately. That’s ast down. probably the reason hi ** What department has he? “Tle’s the obituary reporter.” A KETTLE can never be said to burn with affection—its warmest feeling is ‘a steam.” Mr. Freeway informs us that English lawyers who have read Stubbs and Maine don’t count much on Blackstone’s Commen- taries, English lawyers are finding out, no donbt, that Bill Bhickstone was never any- thing more than a common ‘tater—which the same Englishmen who are not lawyers seem to be finding out about Bill Gladstone. Lonp Tennyson’s last drama, according to some of the London critics, is a very able production, but is not suited for the modern stag What they mean probably is, that the modern stage is too flimsy a structure to bear the weight of so heavy a . Perhaps one of our enterprising managers could get over the difficulty by mounting it on the Brooklyn Bridge. Medical Consultation. Second Little Girl—‘ Into the parlor to write a description of Mama.” Third Little Girl—* Oh, no; he is only writing an inscription on her. They could not make out what a prescrip- tion was, not one of them, and it was no wonder.” WHEN a man finds that oysters don’t agree with him, he should drop them. There are plenty of other things to cat—for instance, oyster soup. We see inan exchange an article two inches long, entitled ** Human Character.” Why, it would take an article a column long to commence to describe the north-east corner, section four, range one, of the character of the man who these cold times will go through the door and forget to pull the hole after him. “Wet, Parson, I am sorry to see that yon have a cold set of hearers to-day,” said the deacon to the parson as he just entered church last Sabbath, Parson—** You Deacon—“ Why, I see your they are your hearers.” ‘The Pa | the pulpit with a warm smile. How so?” ars are cold; on went to onish me. SsSAanM s waAarPrP; on The Bterchant Traveller. CUAPTER IN WHICH OUR LEK WILL B | utter old ass, the reader shall decide. Fort Sumpter was fired upon the very hour that our hero born, Whether the firing was responsible for Sam, or Sam responsible for the firing, will always remain one of the mooted points of histo: During the twenty-four hours that preceded his birth, the following out-of-the-way things occurred: 1. The cashier of a New York Lank did not fly to Canada; 2. Beecher did not stump for INTRODUCED TO OUR READERS. ANY strange occurrences reeted our ero’s entry on the road of life and the oldest inhabitant, who was a trifle dented on the subject of omens, was heard to declare that Cornelius Snapp’s new son would play an important part in the his- tory of hiscoun- try. Whether Captain Hiram Bower (the said oldest inhabi- tant) was right in his prognos- tication or an the Democrats; 3. Several now prominent generals invested in substitutes; 4. Several now prominent society ladies were busy at the wash tob; William Winter delivered a poem; 6. A western Pennsylvania farmer voted for Andrew Jackson; 7. Mary Ander- son was born in several states; 8. Patti took a farewell benefit; 9. Twenty-four new rail- roads were projected. This last incident, " perhaps, tad nrach to do’ with shaping our comicbooks.com