Judge — March 21, 1885 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. public road, and, as Paddy fondly hoped, to a high gate—a strong gate—a five gate. But at that moment it scarcely seemed to present an obstacle to the territied Paddy Horan. He flung himself against it, and burst it open, to the astonishment of all the by. standers, calling loudly as he did so, “ I out shuts the gate.” ‘The men standing around forgot their surprise in abject terror, when Paddy Horan’s pursuer forgot the first, object of Ais wrath, and turned Avs attention tothem. ‘They were soon the leaders in a spirited race for life, from which they happily came out scathless, and in their deep thankfulness they freely’ forgave simple Paddy Horan the innocent cause of their danger, but it is still an oft told tale in Ireland, and ‘ Last out shuts the gate,” as Paddy Horan said to the bull, is still a favorite and familiar expression in Irelund. “Why! was he a bull?” “Why, certainly he was, Stupid. Didn’t you know that all the time?” TRIOLET—PANCY SKATING. 1e's doing some fancy skating, Scornfully curling her lips up, reo is accelerating — She's doing some fancy skating;— And calmly annibilating ‘The poor little dudelet she trips up; s doing so Scornfully Sh ne url ncy skating, g her lips up. It is always a shiny day with the boot- black. “ Linked sweetness long drawn out” can always be found at a candy pull. It is easier to pound tenderness into a boarding-house beef-steak, than common sense into a bifarcated bully. No, Clarence, the eider duck is not named after [da Lewis. She is of another species, the ‘ duckey dear” kind. A corres. pot exploded in Charleston, S. C., the other day, and seriously injured seven children. Their parents have good grounds for bewailing the accident. Betts of tortoise shell are very fashionable. As they are also very fragile, the courting young man looks upon them with extreme disfavor, ‘Tene are over sixty thousand dogs in Paris. Now we know why anxious parents are afraid their sons will ** go to the dogs,” when they go abroad. A New Haven, Cr., young man has amassed a collection of seven thousand eggs. It is not known what particular actor he has @ spite against, but interesting developments A FULL NIGG Moon be a cat.” A means of putting down carpets without the use of tacks, has been invented, and an opening at last presents itself for missionaries to step in and save the souls of married men. | “Your stomach is your wine cellar,” sa: an ancient worth 11 we can say then, is, that judging by some men’s breath, they must keep an awful poor assortment of wine | on hand, ‘There isa man in New Jersey who is so mean that he will not let hischildren go out in muddy weather for fear they will carry off some of his land on their shoes, | A LITTLE girl at Wind Gap, Pa., is said to | have ears that are bent forward, and grown fust to her face. She probably attempted to walk backwards through the Gap, a the wind, with the remarkable result stated. ‘Tue seripture-quoting young man at our | boarding house, who has just returned from Rhode Island, must have got lost in the (oy ose wuo Ad Cotoren Party—** Golly, dis be dah fust time I ever discovered dat dah man in de VD A FULL MOO. capital cit at state, for he remarked the other n t “the ways of Providence are past finding out.” New Jersey dogs will get to heaven long before New Jersey men. The other day it was discovered that for some time past, a Wanaqua dog had been carrying his breakfast to a starving hound in a covert near by, while a tramp the benevolent dog’s master had kicked off his place a few nights before, was found dead from hunger in an adjoining wood! Another Immortal Ode Squelched. Come, favoring Muse, my pen illume ‘To write of the man in the next room— but he’s got back; it’s no use now, Ir takes good generalship to hold a large family in check while keeping dinner back until your visitor leaves. To the Last Street Car at Midnight. Was THERE.) n, thou Car, roll ont es of iron track Roll ont gh I cannot hit Rou. a hack? xcept five cents? What though to sul c— Nine miles—1'W have to walk Never you mind! Roll ont! Roll on, thou car, roll on! At swift 2:40 gait Roll on! It matters not if | am-late; w1* stop!” ‘till | am hoarse, not to you, of course,. ight on—thou last resource! Never mind me! Roll on! Roll on, thou car, roll on! Through winter's freezing air Roll ont It's true I've no top-coat to wear; It's true the don’t run my way; It's true to trudge home won't be gay— But don’t let that disturb you, pray Never you mind! Roll on! [The ** bodtait” rolled on.] J. FERavSOR. L are daily attended. comicbooks.com