Judge — February 28, 1885 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. Box and Mr. Cox to receive each other's let- ters, bit a still stranger one followed. Mr. Cox’s patient arrived at 4:30, and was shown into Mr. Box’s office, and Mr, Box’s client arrived a few minutes after, and was duly ushered into Mr. Cox’s office. When the stranger was shown in, Mr. Box received him with much urbanity, and after a little interchange of civilities, opened the business in hand by saying: “You wished to consult me about some new idea you have about the chest, I believe.” “Yea, sir; itis about the chest. Alto- gether about the chest.” ** But that seems to me a mere matter of detail. If we settle everything else to our mutual satisfaction, I fancy we may let the chest t. its chance.” “Let my chest take its chance? Well, I guess you areacool hand, and no mistake. I tell you, sir, I look on the chest as a matter of the very greatest importance, and I wish to have it attended to before anything else.” “Tam sorry I cannot agree with you, sir. I think one chest is as good as another.” “Well, I don’t, and if the chest is at all contracted—” + “Of course, it is important to have it wide and deep, but that will be all right, no doubt, and it must be nicely covered.” “With flannel, sir, scarlet flannel “Well, I think that would be hardly suit- able, but that can be arranged afterwards, You spoke of a foreign body in your note this morning. “Yes, sir, [ did; and I have quite made up my mind it cannot be anything else.” Well, that idea would be very easily car- ried out.’ What would you say to a fat old German lady?” “What would I lady aa, y toa fat old German I would have nothing whatever to hor. Do you mean to insult me, sir?” “To insult you! why should 1?) You spoke ofa foreign body yourself, and I merely threw ont asuggestion. ‘The nationality is of no consequence to my mind, but for the part she is to play, it is essential that she should be fat and old. ‘The stranger eyed Mr. Box with an alarmed expression. _ He evidently came to the con- clusion that his medical adviser was a ragin, ic, and Mr. Box felt equally puzzled at the strange conduct of his guest, who now thought his wisest course was to humor the madman, and get away as So he proceeded with a I will have a very fat old Ger- f you think it best. Ti diddle all right; very sutisfacto- y-bye, Doctor; ‘Ta-ta,” and r made a very rapid exit. “Well, of all the asses I ever heard bray that one is the greatest!” said Mr. Box, as he assumed his interrupted business. Meanwhile, ‘the man with the idea” had been duly ushered into Mr. Cox’s office. Mr. Cox eyed him curiously, as he entered with long strides, and flung himself into the near- ct me tell it to you at once, there’s a good fellow,” he almost shouted. ‘‘My head is sofull of it I cannot keep it in a moment lon, 1” replied the doctor soothing- ly. ik you complained of having an idea? No doubt it is very distressing just at first.” “An idea!” said the stranger, “I should think I have an idea. None of your fifty cent humbugging fancies, but an ont and outer. You said I should have a chest with a double back, slightly bowed, wide, and not Wp, Vy PAPAS PATE YOR THE COMYORT OF MIs ONLY DALGUTER wo MUCH MORE ROMANTIC N. B. The too deep; plenty of pudding over it and at | the sides too, to conceal what it is, as far as ‘That was about the ticket, wasn’t WwW? “T hardly recollect,” gently touched the electric bell to summon a policeman, with a view to the rapid expal- sion of his excited patient, whom he inwardly diagnosed as ‘ mad.” “Oh! yea, you did; or if you didn’t, some one of the other fellows did, but I’ll have no such thing,” resumed the stranger; ‘* I saw one yesterday, more the shape of a coflin than a chest, but splendidly ventilated. No one could breathe through chest. Its not | half so broad as it looks, and it kept me choking and smothering all the time I was trying to rehearse. “Oh! it is your chest after all,” said the Doctor, feeling rather relieved, but still a little doubtful.” “Let me see,” and he ad- vanced and dealt his surprised visitor a pretty sharp blow on his ribs. “Chest or no chest, I'll have satisfaction for that ’ere crack!” yelled the recipient, and he rushed at poor Mr. Cox with such good will, that he was more than thankful to put himself under the protection of a policeman who entered at that moment, and It was not till the stranger had taken an action for assault, that the matter was really cleared u id Mr, Cox, as he P. Messrs, Box and Cox are now boarding in separate houses. hry YU Yi Vy INSISTS UPON COURTING OUT DOORS, A8 IT 18 80 coal is furnished by the favorite one. A Change of Climate. *Twason a winter's night, [dreamed that ina sunny clime I plucked the luscious orange, and the tart, refresh- ing lime; But the fancied pleasure faded, aye, it faded fast When my brother's big cold foot m Cay" Lock cat for the large extra picture of Cleveland's Iaangu- Tatton Ball which will be given away with the next" Judge.” ‘Tne American young man, they say, mar- ries for money: the American young woman for alimony. Ir is reported that Mr. Bergh is down on on the creamatory. He knows full well that human cremation means starvation—for the 4} worms, ApVANcED Pupil wants to know what bon ton is. Why abon ton is—let’s see—well it isn’t the sort of ton you get from the coal dealers. ysician (to Delicate Ele- ‘oy)—“'My lad, you’re running down!” D. E. B.—* Tell me something I don’t know. "I’m always running up and down.” comicbooks.com