Judge — February 28, 1885 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. The Difference. Now the merry sleig’ And there's not a gi But will make 1 that’s single, her lover take her out to ride, ride, ride And he'll sit within the cutter, Filled with bliss he cannot utter, With his elbow crooked around his future bri¢ bride, bride. But when she is his bride In a sleigh sh Or enrich the 1 But at home her husband. Will gently hold the bal While she blithely never ride nn who keeps the livery.-3 aye brews the gladsome catnip Next Week. 's estab- and excitedly inquired: give me change for a A MAN rushed into Mahler & ( lishment yesterday, Johu, can you nly,” replied the genial ¥ ays ready to confer a “Tow will you have it? “ Anything will do m “ Here it is then.” “Allright, John. T'll giv next week.”—Pretzel’s Weekly. ler, favor. | you the five Queer Custums. Mes. De Branx—* Of all things.” Mr. De Blank—* Well, now what?” Oh! nothin ppened to see a curious item about a servant who was paid $40, his th months’ wage: immediately spent $35 of it for a hat, a sombrero, you know. Ye of his som- Some of them cos the idea price for a hat.” “Oh! the men in Mexico cun easily afford to do that. he women don’t wear any bonnets, you know.” —Philadelphia Call. brer But man paying such 3 Another College Man. Wuew the new reporter just from college started out to write up a fire, the ‘“ fellows” who had for many years been in the harness, smiled, and the managing editor, hearing of the joke, laughed and said: ‘* Now we shall | have a thrilling account of the destruction of Rome. It is a pity our Greck font of type is not in working orde He could tellus all the great fires of Athen: The young reporter came in after awhile, and without running his fingers through his hair or muttering in Latin, sat down and wrote the following: * Last night about eleven o’clock an alarm. of fire was sounded. The city was not thrown into an intense state of excitement, neither did any of our brave firemen risk their lives. By the time the engines arrived, the house, an old rat-nest, situated in. the eastern part of the town, was nearly destroyed, It is not believed that the fire was the work of an incendiary, neither does the impression that it resulted from a defective flue, prevail to any great extent.” The managing editor, when he read the | paragraph, turned to the new reporter and said: You will make your mark, sir. Come into this room,” pointing. ‘Take the position of city editor.”—Arkansaw Travel- er. Age of the Moon. AN humble boy with sh Went gladly singi To wh the On clover her palate ing pail, lown the dale, brindle tail, hid le. nw with ‘Wiy do you suppose in gz of the ssciusko Murphy, of Miss us wea A bumble bee did gaily sail Far soft and shadowy vale, To where the boy with shining pail, Was milking er the she is » beautiful, F suppo meralds the cow with a brindle tail who is on the of thirty- “No, Thesbee sat down on the cow's left ear Her heels flew up through the atm through the leaves of the che The boy soared into ete there 1s no findin phere “replied the lunatic. —Teras Hue | Siptings. reland Heralit, | | YOUNG MENS READ | of Marsha \« py a Mle , offer to we “Tlow are times? “Very dull in the election of Clevela ** Nonsense!” «But [ tell you it’s so, and I'll bet you thousand dollars that four months from the day of his imauguration more than half the | shops in Boston will be closed. | “Moonshine. I'll accept your w hold: Four months from ‘the fourth of Mareh is what?” Independence Day “Take my hat.” “No, it’s too big id it’s all owing to L” 80, — Boston Budyet. Love's Young Dream. Grone my see you. You rememh met you were thinkin cage for your pretty bird.” Algernon—"* I've not been aft You must have got thin Oh, no, only speaking in metaphor, my dear boy. T mean t y a lovely little house which you expected to buy for your home after your marriage with that dear girl, Miss De Ric ch. Whatacharm- ing wife you will have “Oh! ah! yes, yes, I] understand now, You seciired the house, T suppose I got the refasal of it.” “And Miss De Rich; she accepted you, of cou . “Well, I got the refusal, bajov dear boy, so glad to | or the i we of buying a gilded | refusal of her, too—flat Philadelphia Call, The Dynamiters' Method Illustrated. Jimsty Turrnoy is rather inclined to de- mand his rights of the head of the house. Sometimes he gets them: more often he doesn’t. He had determined to pass a half on the ice, dedicating his ne ates to goa Zero, and laming hi Black and Colored Type and Lithographic PRINTING INKS. » dynamiters, ply meditated revenge, Ile had one five-cer acker left over from Fourth of July. He exploded it beneath the baby’s cradle,scaring the infant out of breath, and filling the house full of sulphurous smells. ou is up to snuff, had re and prepared 3 3 GOLD WATCHES, 4 Parisian Dolls, 35 New Dresses, &c. horrid said his mother, How dare you “T guess you'll let me go skating now, won't you?” | S Not another skating pond you see until next June.” was resolution turned upon itself.— | Hartford Post. boy.” rd heey Wheal Shona ee If you have catarrh, use the surest remedy —Dr. Sage’s. comicbooks.com