Judge — February 28, 1885 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. 1 Cupid. Cupid, naughty be Left the muses all Laying his darts, bright and sharp, On fair Sappho’s Ion harp. All his bows he broke in twa Never to be used again, And his wayward fight d To Anacreon’s ruby spi Where at case L did recline, wing, wine; Revelling in the sparkling “Gain the bumper I do rai Bachanals in song to prai Ere 1 lift it to my Ii Love in it his win; TN doth dip, e star-ward flies, ane full of p: calmed heart is full of wo Know not sain, are not where ictim of his wanton lov the nymphs who rove A GRaNp total—tri Hazy—Annapolis Naval Academy. ite star-route—heaven ward. Kirartoum to Lord Wolscley—‘“ From the Fulse Prophet, good Lord deliver us.” It is said that more bachelors than married men commit suicide, Naturally. Family s leave the married man too little leisure for public affairs. Tt in utter nakedness, but trailing” a tail five yards in length did she come—but she called it a train. Beatrice wants to know what the beau ideal ii The beau ideal is the beau with a purse that will stand the ice cream all sum- mer and the oystersall winter; who will come when he is wanted and go when he is not; who will—but of the things that the beau ideal will cheerfully do and cheerfully not do, there isnoend, Strive to attain unto him, Beatrice. The beau real you will find rather a shabby fellow in comparison. THE “S. T. W. B'S.” OR The Dynamite Plot. Op all sad words that e ‘The saddest are these— Gilt Edge Academy is a institution for con- vertin’ the ignorant, situated about a eighth ov amile from mi skool. The students there are fearful well posted onter all the topicks ov the da, an’ the doins ov the dynomiters has worked ’em up orful. A weak agoa er were pent, might have bent ! SUSPENSION OF BUSINESS. delegation ov ’em waited onto us (3 boys iza “delegation),” an’ xplaned that a deep plot had been constructed for the purpose ov correctin’ the rongs ov the down-trodden skollars; a associating been formed undressing the atrocitis, and the motto v “Dynamite.” Well, we held a combination pow-wow an’ agreed to fall inter line with a branch organization fer mutual bennyfit an’ protection. Course I was intensly interested, coz ’twas something nu. I hadn’teny idea what "twas all about, an’ I don’t believe of ‘em did, but that didn’t matter. min’ Clubs ’taint necessary ter hav a object—none ov ’em do. bi-laws iz a heavy tax, an’ a club-room iz the main ingredients. All I nu was that we were to be terrible secret like, an’ have grips like groan-up people did. ‘Tha made me secretary, coz i had a bottle ov red ink, whitch waz useful to imitate blood. One howlin’-cold nite, when the ther- mometer had ter stamp its feet ter keep warm, the charter members (whatever that menz), got to gether in my stable. We had to bribe the coachman to go an’ see his gurl while we used his warm room, The meetin’ called to order bi one ov the * Gilt Edges” what had come down to assist in constructin’ us. He had ter get up inter a buggie and thump 2 coats ov varnish off before he could get order enuff ter lite the candle-dip. — I* was plece-officer, coz mi father oned the stables, an’ got a black I try- in’ to a-just a difficulty between 2 fellers whitch wanted to be president. ‘Then T rezined in favor ov Dorry Warren, the butcher's boy what ways 150 pounds, when his hair's cut. We got ter work rapid after that an’ turned out heaps ov resolutions. I sat up till 11 o'clock getting out circulars to the folloin’ effeck: OFFICE. OF THE SECRET SEVEN. & Revenge Call. GReEETID meeting ov the Stuck-To- gether With Blood Association will be held after skool next Wednesda, to consider the | properzition ov blowin’ up the skool-teacher | continues to ins if she refuses to give us one sesshon, and ston lickin a feller coz he’ late in the morni "Tis the sense of this society that she’s done the “ blowin’-up” about long enuff. — Free dom to do az we want ter iz a heaving-born rite whitch must be preserved an’ kept, if we ave ter sacrifice all the spit-curls an’ false- teeth the committee can drag on. St! Death! Remember the dut yer family—an, don’t forget the p: ‘air Ross-lin.” I’. S.—The members will oblig onter all the mince-pi and mol: as is convenient, We realize the orful responsibility ov our pozish, an’ that if nature isn’t sustained our grate life work ma utterly fale, an gosneakin up spout at the rate of a mile a minit. Come early and avoid the rush. For perticulars see small Bill (Jenks), an’ don’t forget the pi. Evry member admited beyond the limits ov the ded-line must sho samples ov dynamite or something labeled to resemble it. “MUMZ” ther word. John ( Sec. & Head Blower. We distributed these bills round mongst the skollars, an’ at meeting time most all the her suspected comething waz on the dockit whitch she hadn’t been invited to and arter pretendin’ to go home, came back an’ lookt inter the windo. The president waz jus warmin’ up in his little speech, an’ was remarkin’; In order ter make the ole hen see the argument from the proper *¢ point,” we must capture and intro- duce Retributive Justis in the shape ov a ex- plosive bent pin. I therefore move that a committee ov one be appointed to load an’ equip ab ass pin (a good, skarp one)! and you owe word, y gettin” ookies to place the same in the despot’s chair, usin’ a simil was employed in Mr. Grind- stone’s ks since in London. ‘This female tyrant iz gettin’ to regard herself mos az important aa the queen ov the United States or Great England, an’ if something isn’t done ter open—just at that moment something was done, an’ ’twaz the skool- house door what happened to open. ‘The door keeper had got so interested in the comicbooks.com