Judge — February 14, 1885 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A DUDES DE: Only one valentine! docen, My friende wantd think Thad the fair ex.” buy up a tmy grip on “Tire poet is born not made,”—when not, the poetry is burnt, not paid. I true-love was bereaved away from her by her cruel male parent’s broad-toed hints to git. And now she wanteth to know— “what is home without him, mother?” “De proud man am mighty glad on warious occasions ter lib on mighty small ” remarked brother Struggles. ‘De buzzard am ahigh-flyer, but de ‘trac- tion ob de dead hoss bring him to de ground ebery time. Te bush editor, it is unreasonably hinted, is not always sufficiently deficient in the quality of stupidity. But it is the cruelty of the man which we believe sticks out of him with most prominence. For example: “last night our neighbor Mr. S. became the happy fathor of three bouncing triplets.” Witness the spe malice of the word three. Abusing the tremendous powers of the pre in this way is cowardly as well as cruel: for the editor knows full well that the wretched 3. dare not resent the unkind cut, dare not even seem to get mad about it, on pain of being pitched into by all the angel sex for a brute and a Dutchman. THE JUDGE. A Vandal Valentine. I't, send her a valentine, yes T will, And I'll spread my soul on the tinted paper! IN sigh her a sigh, and 11 thrill a thrill, And start up the old poctic mill On raven locks and glances that kill, Peach checks and a waist so taper. Til buy me a sheet of the best cream-laid, Stampod by St. Vale 's Day's adorner, dling heart at the top displayed— n't be mii I'm not afrai ure (ideal) ome fair maid AT say? and darling and ve at's truc at least, for she'll have her dear old Daddy pa sand, ah, well she my heart in her meshes And Pi add Vm lonely and very poor— That's trae at least, if its not poetico— Bat PU say my love She can lean ov me Whatever happens T can safely te For if, for if—oh gemini, if She'll say me “yea” with a tender promise: 11 float through life like a cigarette whill, nd 1, in a gilded skin With never a tear and never a tiff, And a fortune they can’t take from us Valentine, be my speed, stamp on my fateful letter; ried, T must indeed, And must marry mone so tried Lean feel fortune’s sure, nd pure ure St, Valent As [stick th T must be m: it is not greed, ‘Tis sheer nece y oes the deed, When I take her for worse or better. Oh, postman, postman, bring hack my s Dare not her domicile to approach, mau! This fatal paragraph tells me all; Last night, on leaving the Lacy ball, She—Oh, St. Valentine! Wormwood! Gall!— She eloped with her father's conchms precious; | sEssor, NEES ie TWO OF A KIND. nse reduced, and am I." Dimpled fingers In my hair, Soft hand lingers Quiet there. Pretty ba Darling boy Blue eyes drooping, ‘Tired out, With the trooping Things about Head falls low On every breast, Little flower Is at rest. Hear him crowing, Tootsy wee! Ab, he's throwing Up his tea Now he's smiling. Just as though No defiling Currents flow Was there ever Such a dear, From his little Rosy lip On his little New white slip. Darling, clever Ruby here? THE MOMENT APTER. Oh, what errort Help me theret How the terror Yanks my hair! The E, word, Japanese prisoners are dressed in pink. “The pink of perfection is evidently un- known in Japan. The Russian language contains but thirty- five letters, yet to look at some of the Rus- sian words you'd think it contained a hun- dred. It is reported that Sarah Bernhardt is raising a dimple inher chin. Gracious! how this must draw the flesh away from the rest of her face! Custom compels an Icelander in his native island to kiss every woman he meets. This accounts for the sour, ugly expression of countenance which characterizes the Ice- lander, John C, Eno is going to build a summer hotel on an Istand near Quebec. There’s more than one way of robbing the public, and John knows A fashion exchange announces that “new male handkerchiefs are very fancifully bor- dered.” Nothing is said about the female handkerchiefs, but it may be inferred that they are as flimsy and flirtish as ever. ptian injunction—mummies the ‘The imaginative powers of some men are little short of the miraculous. A man, with a face so homely that it cracks a looking- , can discover little niceties of beauty in his countenance that a forty-power magni- fying glass would fail to reveal to anyone else. It is a providential dispensation to keep his soul from fainting with disgust at the mask it wears, TOM ADDIB. comicbooks.com