Judge — February 14, 1885 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. 13 Jenkins’ Silent Partner. “Jenkins & Co. Ah, you have a silent artner, Mr. Jenkins?” Inquired a man as nkins’ new sign. , the ‘Co.’ is the silent partner,” re- “1 Jenkins, Where is he?” ‘In Greenwood. Good morning.”-— | Brooklyn Tunes. A Christian Gentleman. Oxp ALpn went into a grocery store and approaching the proprietor, who stood be- hind a desk, ked what do you want? . Lwuz in heah yistidy ter buy er " vle ’em ter sen” it ’roun’ ter | use, but—” | I believe you are an old liar, If you had bought the meat it would have been | sent.” ** Ain't gwine ter correck de m “No, get out of here. I right, boss, suits me well ernuff. Ordered er side o” me maid fur it, but yer folks made er iis 1’ dropped me off | er barrel o’ flour an’ er lot o’ hams. Didn't know I wuz tradin’ wid sich er Christian gennerman. Good day, sah.”—Arkansaw Traveler. ake den?” The Dude and His Pop. One day there appeared on the streets of a ‘Texas town a dude of the dudiest type, and of course he was the observed of all observers, He was quiet in everything but his dress, and until about 4 o'clock in the afternoon he got along very well, and as he passed a saloon on the opposite side of the street he was saluted by a chorus of yells from a lot of cowboys in front. “Put a thimble over it,” “Tie a blue ribbon to it,” ** Do it up in pink cotton,” ase it and slip it into a knot hole,” “ Give it to a tailor,” and such exclamations rang out, and the dude walked very slowly and took it all in, Finally Bolas Hankus, the terror shoutec “Told on, boys; git still a minit an’ watch | the fur fly. Stick your peepers on to that tubular biler and see me shoot a hole clear through it. Bolus pulled his gun, and the other boys stood back to enjoy the sport, while the dude walked slower than ever. Pop went the gun and the hat flew, but the Made, quicker than a flash, whirled around, and along, pearl-handled re shone in the suntight for an instant then cracked. Bolus’ hat jumped six fe his head, and before any of the boys conld think, five more hats jumped off, after five little puffs of blue smoke rose from the other side, and then the crowd, with a yell, broke around the cornor as if a cyclone had been after them. ‘The dude smiled and scratched his chin, reflectivel, “ Weill,” he said to himself, ‘clothes does make some diff in a man’s looks; an’ 'ma thinkin’ if the boys hed knowed [ wuz Jim Beardsley they'd let me had my little sport, and not got their hats spiled. ~ Well, well, sich ia life. I gness I'd better go over and let ’em irrigate theirselves on my bank ac- | seemin AN exchequer—a retired bag; —Boston Globe. Anxtovs.—No; there are no pianos in heaven—nothing worse than harps. delphia Call. Some Patti's diamonds to adverti song.— Philadelphia Call. A Sw the othe Verbum sat— Hatchet. | ‘Tie small boy thinks that the ruling vice is the t his han Bya a flute gun will carry. —Philadelphia Call. ‘Tie convicts in the commonwealth’s prison at Charlestown consider themselves, one and all, State’s men.—Boston Trans cript. Or the 32,000 Indians in Dakota 30,000 are said tospeak the English language almost ag well as any imported theatr Philadelphia Call. * T KNow a good cure for General Grant's difficult drink ec: ulso ceased to imbibe. We million to the other and you Courier. «Mt per,” an orga N.Y. Journal. J.D. Movsto editor of a} Houston is a kind hearted gentleman, I didn’t want to see the poor devil starve to death.— Newman Independent. Mr. A Lawyer is about bringing out a new work of short- der all “liar” Acco club there is more pleasure ‘in seeing a man threa Now th most pain,— Iw some parts of J cured for sixteen dollara, and she will be a youn: have be Throng are made alike. Better let the old stand. —Somerrill master, B ~Phila- enterprising burglar might steal her pearls of AMPOODL rday philospher bonght a hen I named her Verbum because acher’s command to him to hold out 1.—Boston Post, singular dispensation of Providence cannot be heard any further than a said the Mule Editor to Punny- “What's that!” asked Pane — Hatchet. | Vanderbilt does not Since hearing this, we have ‘e bound to bea ire if possible. —Thronyh Mail. ies ‘offee. ¥, can you tell me the nearest way | said a countryman to a be “Go to st Boston ferry tolled,” was the reply.— Boston Mt SICAL instruments are now made of ‘That's nothin paper converted in an during a political campaign.— s, on Mond Ans newspaper. Mr. and for the r the present systems ‘* lawyer” un- and Journal. RDING to a Quincy, Il., debating anecdle than a woman drive a nail, ney should decide which canses the foston Globe. nan, a wife can he pro- on is ahead of g girl at that, Bo: however en known to give themsely he Mail. number of Boston girls Tall Oaks from Little Acorns Crow. Great and good 1 small de often this is y qnainted with Dr. simple | heavy he: sults often spring from “is and so fatal disease ly trifling ne; ser » time in becoming Catarrh Ren ing virtues will surprise you. peedy, sure. Dull, | jnche, obstruction of the nasal our ¢ passages, discharges from the nose into the thr count,”—Cincinnali Merchant Traveler. plaint. ire symptoms of this horrible com- | Add ‘ | ‘Tiene’s no trouble about twisting the tail of asleeping bulldog. ‘The disagreeable part comes when you let go.—7id Bus. “ Eanty Man in America’ is the title ofa new book. It is evidently either a history of the man who sits up all night to catch early train, or else of the man who came in early after helping a friend post up his books all night.— Brooklyn Tones | “Prace acy Dames!” Magistrate (newly appointed) —** Now, natable, what case this morning?” Police sergant—* Please, — | your worship, [ have imcustedy. John/Stne mon lias Smith, al—” Mage istrate h, well—I'll try the women first. Bring in Alice Jones! "—Loudon Punch. Tiere had been some illness in the family, — | | and when a hearted but inquisitive neighbor asked Johnny who had been sick he — | | promptly answered: “Oh, it’s my brother that’s all. “What was the matter with him? Nuflin’, only he was just sick.” “T know, but wha dohim?” “Oh, T dunno,” “ What did he have?” ‘* He had the doctor.” That closed the inquisition. — Hartford Post. Sue— If it was not for women tho " churches would have to close. Religion Hi would die out if it were not for the women.” || Bah! Don’t you know why women reh? | know wh as Jone: go toch She— To you would say. show their clothes. He— that they get in for nothi in free a Wom: That’s one reason, and the other is Let a woman aywhere ill go in shoals. is the perfect dead-head of the uni- — Progress. YOUNG ME outate Brit Co. of TREAD THIS, all, Sieh offer t Fevers,a News ralgia. Aa uo fo wracrer. Keno other AS THE 2.220 BEST TONIC Sat Core Wee ARrorne are red.) Drug OR. WARD & COs, LOUISIANA, 4, fectioner, uu m., Cicago, GOLD WATCH FREE! comicbooks.co