Judge — February 14, 1885 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. BLONDE Vs. ept. 28, I884.—A busy day and hot as h— to begin with, must have drunk not less then fifty whiskey-and-waters to keep down temperature. Wallower called before break fast to nault about township ticket—fixe up in the interest of the Whole Hoggers— expect to smash Lemonade ring at October election. )—'s brother-in-law, to be super- visor of wards if he gets me the old Packer bill paid with three hundred per cent added for delay gue people doing we fever patients coming round faster than I can | see it. Swiller’s dropsy worse than ever— | in all the brandy he can get at—cons yrse—expect it will kill him. ntan, the new doctor —has build of an ox—good for fifty years ten | drinks ad nd will come out fresh as a rose—but green, of course, likeall the young fello as ‘good as said that it is the physician’s duty to try to find out what really ails the patient, and be careful never | to give any remedy that might keep the | disease more than ‘the patient—of course | Mountan will get over such nonsense, but it’s a dreadfal bore to consult with boy Continued experiments i find that sole-leather st sists 20 juice natoes of commerce a capital sub half the drugs used in our trade—-sufficiently harmle yet capable of making a horse sick, so fools in believe they get the worth of their money. ud C — sitting up in bed best to sell him gray mare before li enough to try her in harncas and get his neck broke—two hundred and eighty not bal price. If Vapors is careful to avoid exerci and sticks todark room all day, nod for two year—no danger of her drop- ping off before twentieth century—the m the Vaporses are ailing the longer they liv Saw old Swi ould have with salts—had none with me—as a tute, told him St. John would be sure—had desired eff ve me his note for fifty dollars or condition I tell. his wife that nothing short of bitters ad lib b fore meals will keep him from kicking round in bed all night. Secured Wamper vote for W. Hoggers by telling old lady down by excessive summer heats four hut dred and fifty pounds) that a delicate nervous organization like her's requires ete Find I m a mistake 6 hundred and fifty dollars in M——'s bill—as the mistake is in my favor, ought to correct without loss of time--afraid I may forget all about it. Summoned by ped in tobac and then mixed with the canned t ei subst lecte JI— ne — | —eh per and nearly as harmle losed him | (brought | Coroner to examine corpse—! BRUNETTE. R. train and cut in two, but Coroner candidate for office tin—want Whole Hogger vote—-accordi utopsy to see if internal orga fee against inty fifty dollar: ind * plain country fare” promotes doctor's bills, hence caution our people against city luxuries. — Bet Rev. Mixer that St. John won't get three votes in Jackson County—drank np bet on the spot. Chalk-dust a good substitute for bre ad pills ‘ind it best when amputation necessary to decide which leg ought to be cut off before going to work on it—came to this conclusion after Hacker and I got through with young F —but Hacker most to blame—had fifteen minutes to sober up—must n ker that the sort o! ident may be carried too far L 's youngest cub swilled three gallons fresh cider—thought the pig would die—made old man L— proud and happy to pay double fee by telling him patient was only ‘suffering usual consequence of being precocious genius. V case more in teresting every day—his district close—if he drops off too soon Lemonaders may carry it et Hacker two bottles bourbon [ can keep V enough to vote at October election, — Hacker, Gritter, Moun nd I met on old Plumper’s case—when retired to consult, Hacker and Gritter fell out about BI and Cleveland—H. got G. down— pummeled him—when I thought G. had enough took H. off—had to soothe Mountan who got mad because we forgot all about Plumper and his compound fra Moun- tan’s ti to lick clever run over by R Ire, all three of us A SUITABLE REWARD. New Exoiaxp May Swaten—" Fellin N. E. Max—"* SKATER" ** Ho 1c did yer git in?” y me out.” the detil. “What wi at “P | Sage’s Catarrh Cemedy cures. I fellow Mountan, but has everything to learn about consultations—don’t think Plumper any worse off for our consultation—accord- | ingly made fee fifty dollars. After supper Hacker drove over—had several games of cuchre—Hacker won everything—came n cleaning me out—brought out gallon demi- john of new corn whiskey—then turned tables | on Hacker—got him so drunk couldn't mind what was trump—clubs was truamp—let me take his right bower with queen of spi | cleaned Hacker out—Hacker good fellow and old friend—must get him drunk again and give him his revenge when he collects his next batch of bills. On the whole a profitable day—never had a better day since began practice. If the American people have any sense, Butler will be the next President, but I don’t give a damn—only let the Whole Hoggers carry Jackson C Let terday w turday—to must y and I forgot all about the cock fight this’ morning.--Alarming symptoms— memory losing her seat? MACKHOWLY. He Was Just Like Other Men. Tey were coming out of adime museum. “IT don’t believe the wild man of Borneo is a wild man at all,” i “Why not?” he as “ He’3 civilized just like other men.” “What makes you think 80?” “Didn't you see the manager pay him a lot « rad 20 bill and a lot of small bills.” lidn’t you notice how careful the to fold the twenty outside?” —Chweago Ne Matrimontal Item. TLEMAN who had je the acquain- tance of a drummer on the train, on reaching Su Louis asked him: “Where is there a cheap but respectable ling house in this town?” pest and most respectable board- ing house I know of is with my future wife. T always stop with her folk ‘© your intended lives here, does she?” “Of course, I’ve got one in every city in the United States of any prominence. Texas Siftings. AG Wasn't Libelous. “Do you want a case, Mr. Smedes?” “ Certainly, if there's money init and any show for winning,” replied the lawye “Well, it’s for libel. I propose to sue this infernal newspaper for traducing my character.” id?” inquired the lawyer. ated that Tam worse than a hog in my family, that I beat my wife avd arve my children, and lie when I get a chance, and don’t steal because everybody locks the door when I come around, and a whole lot more of the same kind, and I want damages for it.” Is that al Isn’t that enough?” Hardly, You see there's nothing in the statute against a newspaper telling the truth. When the papér tells a lie on you, come around, and I'l what I can do for you. | Good-morning.”"—Merchant Traveler. If all so-called remedies have failed, Dr. comicbooks.co