Judge — February 7, 1885 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. “Do you know. Mra. Sinith, my husband’s health is miserable, he can’t sleep a wink?” | * Indeed; well my husband used to be the same way, but he is in excellent health now, sleeps almost all the time.” ** Well, doesn’t it interfere with his business?” “ Oh, no; he is a policeman.” ‘ Oh!”—Boston Post Catecuisa Mopernizep, Teacher-— ‘What he difference between the bod and the soul?” Johnny (vacantly)— Th is mortal and material; the soul. | her (impatiently) —Y nd the sou Johnny hie soul is immortal and im- materia | | Can't I go to the lecture? our mother desires to at- I want to hear all about n of the terrier. It must My child, stay right at will get all the ‘reign of terror’ you want.” And when he passed his | cup for more tea the “terror” wouldn’t pour | him any.—/artford Post. . pop! child. is and the rei be imm 5 home and you CONSUMPTION CURED. having p Debt | he's ntish DELICIOUS CeSTARD THE COST BIRD'S ®: CUSTARD ‘POWDER XURY Sows, Birmingbam, Custard Powder — WITHOUT EG6S, AND TROUBLE. ~ Produ at HALF | wre Macteed Su A Grorite preset Bred.) Dr veo any jogranhs A aerate riustrnted Breeton tot List and Revnt Casvacaing Outdt ail | orna | it, we | coming home! | so, Is it because ignorance is bliss that court- ing is so much pleasure to young people?— Merchant Traveler, Kyown by the com theatrical manager. longer in January than longer.—Lynn Item. pany he keeps—the Pantaloons are worn ‘ebruary—three days A Bioomimetos woman ran away with the head cook in her husband’s restaurant, the other day. She will either starve to death or have to eat some infern poor | cooking.—Newman Independent. 1 “T wer Mr. Smith ina shabby coata while ago. He has not failed, has he “Oh, no, he only putston that coat when he goes to the assessors to give in his property for assessment.” — Texas Siftinys. “Well,” said Mr. good resolution this New Year. “Indeed!” said Mrs. Smith. “Yes, I've sworn off using tobac smoke nothing but five-cent ci future.”—Boston Courie Smith, I’ve made one 5 ‘kai | 3 in the A rastton item says: “A very useful aud ental gift to either lady or gentleman isan umbrella holder.” If thismeans som thing which will hold an umbrella when an ubsent-minded deacon tries to walk off with ond the motion. — Philadelphia Call. I wou p like to know which dairyman will acyuirea competency first, The one who has fifty cows and two pump ten cows and fifteen pamps? mud fence will be — Brooklyn Times Adesign fora n for a correct answer. Juvor Atwater said, at Minneapolis the other day; that he could have twice bought the site of that city for fifty dollars. That was before Minneapolis became the flour-ish- ing city it has since become,— Boston Trans- eript. Vurchin: ar shoes BeNEVOLENT gentleman tor: My little man, why do you not w id weather?” ged urchi ‘ause my old buck going to make a preacher out o” me and wants me to learn to save soles when I'ma kid."—Hatchet. “Tuts is a pretty time of nig’ said Mre. Brown, Mriar. (hic) been paintin’ the town (bie) re Yes, { know you have, and I see you've got some of it on your nose, tuo,” Rs t to be I'v | —Newman Independent. A wet deserved compliment is paid Mr. Chas. H. Hoyt by the Minneapalis Trebune, but when that paper tells its readers that Mr. Hoyt created the **All Sorts” column in this paper it tellsthem what is not true. The ‘All sorts” column was created by Mr. Nathaniel G. Green, many years before Mr. Hoyt or his * Ri of, and it is likely to be alive many years after Mr. Hoyt and his Baby has climbed the golden stair.— Boston Post. Woman's Face. “What farniture can give such finish to a room, as a tender woman's face, Elliott. Not any, we are happy to answer, provided the glow of health tempers the ten- der expression. The pale, anxious, bloodless face of the consumptive, or the evident suffer- ings of the dyspeptic, induce feelings of sor- row and grief on our part and compel us to tell them of Dr. Pierce’s ‘‘Golden Medical Discovery,” the sovereign remedy for con- sumption and other diseasesof thet respiratory system as well as dyspepsia and other diges tive troubles, Sold everywhere. | claims contested or unpaid or theone who has | t's | g Baby” had been thought | * asks George | ACCIDENT INSURANCE j At Half the Usual Rates of Other Companies. EMBERSHIP FEE, $5. The United States Mutual Acct 820 and 322 Ti New York. the World, Tho: of claims paid. lent Association, The best in » valid 8.000 i 3 a week Inde costs $13 4 Year unance, with §2 nity; JAMES I. PITCHER, Sec’y, CATARRH ly's Cream Cleanses the Balm Head. Relief. in Gives Qu Add In tid Heals the Sores: ys Restores the of A Posit Not a Sensex He Cure, aste and § e Liquid nor Snuff. at_Dracctots RLY “BEHNING FIRST CLASS Grand Squure é Upright PIANOS. | Warerooms : 3W. (4th St. a 129 B. 126th St. New York. JTUEKS, Drggtata, Owego, N. ¥. for a retail tox, idles tt Amer ‘trictly pure, FREE Silks for Patchwork. tly we sae f press F-0,acress Dik Fa. SLOCUM, a Pearle Be comicbooks.com