Judge — January 17, 1885 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. SAMPLE COURTSHIP. NV the spring the young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love, And, assisted by young Cupid, makes some girl bis * turtle-dove.”” In the summer then he takes her to each picnic in the glade, And to all moonlight excursions which are on the In the fall he spouts steamers made. his gew-gaws to obtain some ready cash, And proceeds to hops and parties with his charm- ing female mash. In the winter she deserts him for a better looking swell, And he swears like any trooper when he hears thelr marriage-bell! “sey sone.” A Useless Argument. “So you think of buying that railroad, do you?” to let the chance go by.” sll me, do you go into it alone?” “Well, I had thought some of speaking about it to Bangs, I think he'll go in when I show him that at the price mentioned the property is as cheap as dirt.” “I’m afraid you'll have to advance some otter argument to him.” vy?” ** Well, he’s just lost about a million in real estate.” Wnat kind of timber is the best?—That which is O.K. Wn is Beecher the fastest clergyman on evans Because he catches the devil so often. Ir will not be long until Cleveland will find that the duties of a cabinet-maker are much more arduous than those of Sheriff, Mayor, or Governor. Ir is said that the widows of Brigham Young have been prohibited from visiting their husband’s grave. ‘The beautiful ceme- tery wherein he rests has almost been con verted into a swamp by his sorrowing ex- wives, c3;_it’s such a bargain I can hardly | The Electoral College Gets Between Them, and Now Betsy and He Are Out for the Rest of the Day. Sue—‘Isn’t Cleveland the man that’s elected President?” e-— Certainly, why do you ask?” She—“ | nobody was elected yet, that only the elec- toral college was elected and that—but I couldn’t understand what he meant.” He—‘Oh yes; you see when we vote at these elections we don’t just vote for the | candidate straight. I didn’t vote for Cleve- land, I onl ” She—‘‘ Didn’t vote for Cleveland! well | may I never-——” | He—* Oh yes, to be sure I voted for Clevo- land.” She—‘‘ But you said you didn’t.” He—‘‘ Well, of course, I couldn’t just vote for Cleveland, because——” She—‘ Couldn’t vote for Cleveland? Why | you said Blaine was the meanest — He— And I say it yet, why, of course, I voted for Cleveland but——” She—“ But you just now said couldn't.” He—‘ Thunderation, Kate, can’t you wait till I get through?—-You see Cleveland had his electoral college, and Blaine had his, and you She—‘‘ But what is an electoral college?” He—‘‘ It’s something along with the con- stitution down at Washington—something to Oh, Mr. Jones was explaining that | | prevent something—something—but it don’t | amount to nothing—so that after all I really | voted for Cleveland.” She—* But you said you couldn't.” He—* Confound it, how often must I tell you that I did; but that I couldn’t just vote for him himself straight.” She—* But you said you did.” He—“ Goddlemity! didn’t I tell you: ten hundred thousand times that I didn’t—that | 1 couldn’t—that I did—that Cleveland’s electoral college—but a fellow might as well | talk politics toa mule as toa woman. You wouldn’t understand about the electoral college if I kept on explaining till Cleve- land’s inauguration next Fourth of July.— Where the—? I’m sure I put my pipe under the sofa cushions this morning, but in this house you never can find anything in its place.” A rexentovs old man of Coblentz Incurred a most shocking expense By wedding a wife, the close of his life, Who would not take care of his pence. Gen. BuTLER has his modesty remains, Reporter—** General, what is your opinion as to the probable make up of Mr. Cleve- | land’s cabinet?” | Gen. Butler—‘‘ Pardon me; the duty | which I owe to my clients will prevent me |from accepting ‘the office of Attorney | General.” lost his political all, —) comicbooks.com