Judge — December 27, 1884 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. THE JUDGE. PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. (UsITED STATES Asp Casapa.) One copy, one year. or St numbers, . One copy, six months or #6 numbers One copy. for I weekn, Address THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY, 324, 326 and 328 Pearl St., EU-ConmesrorDENTs WILL PLEASE TAKE NOTICE THAT THEY > Maa To Tite OFFICE AT THEIR OWN RISK. WHERE STANTS SCLORED WHE WHLL RETCRS REJECTED MATTER AS FAR AB FOS: OF WE DINTINCTLY RECDIATE ALL RESTONEIBILITY FOR SUCH WHERE A PRICK IS SOT AYYIKED BY THE WRITER, CONTRIBCTIONS WILL BE REGARDED A8 ORATUITOUH, AED NO SUBEE- QUENT CLAIM FOR REMUNERATION WILL BE ENTERTAINED, CHRISTMAS. To all his fellow Christians and Bob Ingersoll, ‘Tue JvpGe wishes a merry Chri maa. He wishes it indifferently to people of all shades of political opinion. He wishes it to Republicans, Democrats, Independents, and Carl Schurz, That shows what a good Christian Tue JvpGEe is, but then most, everybody is a good Christian about Christmas time. Some of Dickens’ characters were not, it is true, buat ly repented of it, and be- came so afterwards. In any case, they had a grievoasly bad time, and set forth, by the contrast of their misery, the joviality and good fellowship of those who were good, orthodox, eat-plenty, have-a-splendid-time, Dickensonian, Christmas-keeping _ Chris- tians, Christmas is remarkable for a great many thin, About this time your children sing carols abounding in statements which may have some eighteen-hundred and eighty odd years ago, but which have all been discounted in church fifty-two times a year ever sinc It is also a season only less fatal than anksgiving to the turkey; and many a young and lusty gob- bler who had congratulated himself on having safely passed through the epidemic that prevailed during the last week in No- vember, and had looked forward to a long lease of life, is hanging in the poulterer’s, or cooling off in the honsehold refrigerator at this moment, People do not, we suppose, eat any more at Christmas than they do at any other time; but most people eat a great deal at any time when they can get it, and on Christmas day they make « greater futs about it than usual. then they gener been news Consequence is, turkey; consequence is, roast sucking pig; consequence is, beef and plum pudding, and mince pie, and dyspepsia, and weird and horrible dreams. Consequence is, also, bills which, as a rule, are larger, and fatter, and uglier, and more to be dreaded in the first week of January, than at any other time. Christmas is also remarkable for presents. You give all you can afford to everybody you can think of, and send Christmas Cards to the rest, and trust to luck to get it back. It is very like casting your bread on the waters, with the difference that the whole of the text does not apply. Many a young man’s faith in humanity, and respect for the contemporaneous generation have received their first rude shock on Christmas day. Withal, Christmas day has its advan- tages. It resembles Sunday in that the churches are all open, and you can’t be dunned. It resembles Saturday, in that there are matinees at most of the theatres; and it resembles Thanksgiving, in that you are expected to eat an aldermanic dinner. But the best point about Christmas day, to Tue JupGe’s mind, is that the children, God bless them, have a royal good time once a year at least; and many a scarred and weather-beaten man and woman to-day look back to the Christmases itt the long ago, with the grateful memory that travellers might have of a few pleasant halting places in a very long and weary journey. It is the children’s carnival, and they might as well enjoy it, for life is bound to be a very dismal Lent to some of them. So Tue Juve advises everybody to do all that is possible to make the day bright and pleasant in his or her home, especially if there be children around; and, in making others happy, the day will pass quickly and pleasantly, and be indeed to you and yours what The JupGE sincerely wishes to his readers and to other folks’ readers:— A MERRY CHRIS THE POLITICAL SANTA CLAUS. Ir is not only thechildren that are expect- ing the visit of Santa Claus in this merry Christmas time. Men are but children of a larger growth,” and, as far as gifts are concerned, men are in advance of children only in the nature and extent of the presents they look forward to. In the present, as in the past, men in general, and politicians in particular, are after all they can get. In the future it may be different—this way the millenium lies—but never a Christmas has dawned for more than aquarter of a century of which a large and esteemed section of our citizens expected so much. Victory lies | with the Democratic battalions, and with victory, as the great teachers of that politi- cal creed have told us, gothe spoils. Surely, surely, Santa Claus will bring something worth firing down their chimneys this year bt! feast, §1' TURN The Santa Claus pictured by hopeful party men looks very much like Governor Cleveland. He carries in his pack gifts suitable for all grades of political aspirants, but as there are considerably more aspirants than there are gifts, some of them, (the aspirants, not the gifts) are sure to get left. The outlook for the Independents, for in- stance, is dismal in the extreme. No merry Christmas for them, THe Jupce fears, They have wrecked their party, and are debarred even from the wrecker's privilege. ‘They have the stain of foul treachery on their souls, and not a red cent of profit wherewith to stifle conscience and drown recollection. They look with longing, unsatisfied eyes on the Santa Claus of the hour, They sce him fill the coffers of the hungry Democrats, ’till the wealth of presents shows even beyond the coping of the chimneys, and his plethoric pack is wofully flattened, but still no word or sign of recognition for the Independents. Meanwhile, they have been drummed out of every Republican club which their treachery has disgraced, and still they receive no notice from Cleveland—no gifts or promise of gifts from the Presidential Santa Claus. What can it mean? It means, Messieurs Bolters (and it is with sincere sympathy Tue JupGe thus expounds it) it means that you are overtaken by the common fate of all traitors; you are spurned by the party you have betrayed, you are despised and ignored by the party you have served; in a word, you are severely and unmistakably /eft, and, so far, it has not been such a very cold winter, either. DEMOCRACY AT WASHINGTON. Amoxe the many changes which the inauguration of a Democratic President may be expected to bring about, not the least strange and striking will be the change effected in society at the national capital. After the fourth of March, Mr. and Mrs. Florence may shelve their famous play, ‘The Mighty Dollar,” or get it twisted ’round to suit the times, for it will no longer be a caricature of Washington life. Out march the Republicans, after a quarter of a centu- ry’s occupation, and in march the Democrats to stay as long as they can. New faces. in the streets, new clerks in the offices, new names in the Directory; these will be some of the effects. We presume the high-toned chivs from the | South will give the stamp and tone to society. It will, at least, be new and distinctive. Shoddy Democracy and shoddy Republican- ism are pretty much alike; but they used to breed ladies and gentlemen in the South, and, if the art be not lost, the South should send a contingent that will adorn Washing- ton. We do not look for much at the hands of the President-elect—less even in social matters than in any other direction. Gov- ernor Cleveland is not a society man; he describes himself, or hus been described by an intimate friend, who may be credited comicbooks.com