Judge — December 20, 1884 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AN Ma. Mee INSIDIOUS INSINUATION. Yer ties down most the Une and its you head what goes round, attorney for the pr the witness in prayer. much helped in the good work by the bench, and a majority of the jury and the bar. Mr. Ingersoll assured the reporter that there was such an outpouring that the contrite witness not only made answer to all questions, but voluntarily confessed that he himself, assis- ted by one of the gentlemen of the jury, had ing under the advice of a Cincinnati law- yer) helped the prisoner to get the mail bag, and now with tears in his eyes, begged that he and the guilty juryman might be hung then andthere. When it wasexplained to him that the mildness of our laws would not permit such harsh treatment, he desired, as the next best thing, that he might be sent west as O. D. detective. Wale Mr. Ingersoll was relating this anecdote, his venerable beard trembled with emotion and he owned that the impressive ue had (under the divine guidance) been as an instrument for opening his eyes and showing him the error of des accounting for the well et that the present generation of ton lawyers ate almost equal in the length and fervor of their prayers to their brethren of the famous Philadelphia bar. The good old man adverted more in sorrow than in anger to the awful work which was being carried on by the apostles of infidelity, specially naming those notorious atheists Moody and Spuv.eon, and Talmage. Of the late Jerry P ack he spoke without harsh- ness, notwithstanding that gentleman’s per- sistent attempts to undo the evangelical work accomplished by him (Mr. 1.). The reverend gentleman abhors strife, and avers that he never did and never will engage in controversy with his enemies. While the reporter was being edified by these pious utterances, enter the Rev. Ward Henr. A long: slender neck a hollow cheek, a pair of deeply. suni skeleton-like figure, midnight vigils, asceti indulgences, garments homespun and thread- bare, a life passed in ministering to the spiritual wants of rade mountaineers—his only earthly reward a scanty allowance of corn-meal and shell barks, with huckleberties in their season, and an occasional present of a muskrat skin or half ap (more properly callen snitz by the Pennsyl- yania Dutch)—such is the celebrated Ward Henry. The meeting of these two ministers, relics of another and a better age, was touch- ing in the extreme. Having exchanged a solemn greeting and passed an hour or two in silent meditation and prayer, they joined ution to wrestle with Which he did, being ck of dried apples | ANIMAL INSTINCT. Par Hoxten—" for hin divil oa Tvconder iehat the ould bast is ot hace Tuto!" tte at ut wafe distance it wate Boy voices in the grand old hymn: ‘* Oh tell me no more of this world’s vain store,” which they sung with a force and txpression quite new to the reporter, and also with singular harmony, considering that while the Rev. Ward sang mainly with his mouth, the Rev, Robert used his nose chiefly—besides keeping on an average two lines ahead ‘of his more deliberate brother from the mountains, The reporter, owing to the weak state of the drum of his left ear, was unfortunately com- pelled to withdraw and wait on the back stoop for the conclusion of this rare flow of soul. After mutually deploring the sinful doings of the age in general, the Rev. Ward Henry made known the special object of his visit: ** Brother Robert, it grieves me to make re- port of the same, but there is one of our shepherds, a carnal minded preacher who holdeth forth in one of the wicked cities of the east, Brooklyn by name. This one says it is not sinful to laugh in the Lord’s house on the Lord’s day, or to partake of a savory dinner on the blessed Sabbath. He hath been seen sitting by the side of a profane editor who the while drove (as did Jehu of old)two horses worth many pounds of silver; and making pretence of preaching the word, while flowers cunningly sorted and set out by the idle hands of certain light minded sisters, did pollute the sanctuary. Brother, raise thy voice against this wolf in sheep’s clothing. Yea, smite him hip and thigh as with the sword of Gideon.” At this state- ment the Rev, Bob gave agroan that seemed to affect even the passing street car. Then he answered, “ Alas, my brother, what you tell me is only one of the signs of the uiter godlessness of the age. And grievous it is to reflect that many weak-minded Christians, some of them even rulers in Israel, puffed up by vain science and learning, are chiefly to blame by reason of their loose method of interpreting the word. What we want, brother Henry, is to hold on to the letter of the scripture, abating not one jot or tittle. And I,” continued Mr. Ingersoll, with a prophetic look, ‘who have been in an especial manner called and set apart for the confounding of the infidel, have been labor- ing for some months on a work which may be the humble means of arresting this flood of atheism.” Here the preacher modest! laid his hand on a pile of manuscript which seemed to the reporter capable of weighing eight or ten pounds. It was gathered from the conversation between the two illustrious divines that Mr. Ingersoll, in his forth-com- OCRATIC GRATITUDE. dependent Boy . walks off desp me Ue fetta orn reward who has re dently) — volume, expects to prove first: that the ravity of the age can be clearly traced to the fact that certain sons of Belial doubt whether Eve was made out of only one of Adam’s ribs; second, that there is no hope for the American people except in a speedy re- turn to the brimstone and original sin of of their fathers; and third, that it isaccording to the law of nature, and reason, and common sense, that the miscreant who forgets or doubts a single one of the ornaments of Solomon’s temple will be, and of right ought to be, damned without benefit of clergy. When his visitor was about to depart, the venerable host inquired whether he would not take something for the ‘needful sustenance of the flesh,” as he explained, “Yea verily,” answered the Rev. Ward Henry, “though the spirit fain would fi the sinful body craveth carnal nourishment. Then Mr. Ingereoll, whose only weak point, perhaps, as a eaint, is his boundless—we had almost said his reckless—spirit of hospitality, went out and presently returned; bearing in one hand a calabash of pure fresh water sparkling from the pump, and in the other a ci » leaf on which was placed the ample half of a four cent loaf of plain, but wholesome rye bread, flanked by six potatoes of the famous Peerless variety, boiled with their coats on. The reporter would gladly have staid to sce the end of this interesting meeting, but understanding that it was the unvarying habit, both of Mr. Ingersoll and Mr. Henry, to consume not less that an hour in saying grace before falling to, even when the meal was an ordinary one, and when the might more properly be ca as in the present case, to prolong that open- ing exercise through half a day strained under pressure of worldly affairs to cut short the interview. MACKHOWLY, ce Orricer (appointed to test nted projectile) —" Hello, Mr. — here’s your last three-hundred pounder all Orp newly inv shivered to smithereens! I’m afraid it won’t be the thing, you know.” Inventor—* Never mind, Cap, that will be all right. You will recollect that all I promised the Department was that any one of these three hundred pounders would go through a sixty inch steel plate and come out intact; but the corporal here tells me that just as he fired the last shot, the great Re- former, the Rey. Diddler Dedbects, crossed in front of the target: the ball strack him full onthe cheek, and, of course, went to pieces. Mustn’t expect miracles, Cap.” comicbooks.com