Judge — December 6, 1884 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDG The Book of the Tribes of Columbia. cu EM IX. Arthur, the Chesterite, ts succeeded at last ; of the Trites, the future 1. The eleventh month of the year had come upon the Tribes of Columbia; the same which was to bespeak unto the nation the name of its kin, 2. And there was excitement in the land; from the sixth month had Columbia been raving mad. that it had come to pass that there a boom in weapons of war, for men would clap down their shehels for the pur- chase of modern arms, unlike unto those with which David extricated blazes from the Philistines, 4. With these they perambulated forth upon the streets. And men ambushed them, and Jay in tin the bush, behind the tree, and in the corner saloon, 1 stunned them with the “Who thinkest thou will be eh ad smote their qu nd business-like smite; slaughtered them in great numbers. 7. Arthur, the Chesterite, the king of the land, said unto them: **Now hath the time oners and come for me to vamose the ranch; [ would not live always.” 8. And “Yea the people answered and said, verily, Aint is the ticket; thou art and had better mosey, We new king. 9. Arthur said, ‘*Whom shall it be? 10. And Butler, the unrighteous Turk, uplifted his voice and said, “Lam the gentle innocent in question. 11. Daniel and Hubert, the Siamese twins answered and said unto him with one voice, is opprobrious to Thou hast served er than "there efore, let Grover supersede thee. Infants from Buffalo are at a premium, but Turks are discounted.” 12. The Bible hath said, take a little wine for thy stomach’s sake, but a saint named John, kicked, saying: ‘It is not meet that | such should be Make me king, and [ will fire whiskey into the depths of Hades.” 13. And a won phe Belva, said, ** Lo, Iam from Olympu i am the goddess of ’ { Apollo Belva-dear. 80. ing as he gazed upon these poor mortals; for he himself was out of the king: dom. And lo, it was Blaine, the great chronicler of the kingdom, the diplomat and the man of great honor. 15. But the people left the squabbling throng, and went unto Blaine, saying, “When Arthur scrambles, take thou his place.” However while the people spake thus, habar had already stepped down from the throne; and the twins, gazing about them, of P harisee: perceived large numbe cranks, and Morey-letter scribes; and said“ While these a rley with Blaine, let us seize the throne. 17. But Butler, and Belva, and the good Saint John blocked the wi 18. Howbeit the saint drank deeply from | aglass filled with the w and said, “The tempe dry; hurray for Grover.” er of Mephistopheles, nce game is worked A DERNIER_ RESORT. Sur Cadignanily)— 4 If you can't support me, what Hx (calmly) — did you m And the children of Belva Butler out of the w Belva, and Grover 20. When the chronicler of these things | saw ( er in the seat, prophet Samuel, the uncle of the nation, and said **O Samucl, thou seest into the future; tell me how shall Columbia fare, 21. Uncle Samuel said unto me, ‘I see the tribes of Columbia fc membered, and fighti m No woman goeth within a mile of the W hite House, the oppressors of the people rule, the Ku Klax Klan ravages north and south, jon has come again. ‘The negroes and the men of foreig lands have fled from the country, Columbia is desolate; he went unto the her people mourn. 22. And the chronicler failed ont of the door, and pondered muchly on what the see Qhim, And itsaddened him ex au: nsomuch that he laid down his pen, and said he would write no more of the tribes until better things came to pass. Liked to Meet Him. “Let's cross the street fellow again,” suid a man to his companion with whom he was walking. “Why didn’t you speak just now if you have business with him?” “LT have no business with him,” Nien why do you wish to meet him again?” . “Well, you see I and meet that sed to owe him, and in consequen avoid meeting him. Recently L paid him up w Pike ty meet him, It’s like Mark ‘Twain’s story of the boy who found adime. He kept throw- ing it out in front of him to find it again, Come on, I want tomeethim, [wish | had nothing to do but to meet him all de Arkansaw Traveler, Johnnie's Cor " | “THE T Tue hogs is a collecti with ror hide, 4h } corners, It is furnished with a called a tail, ‘aud and nek called the ‘mia When the animal is very ‘mane” it’s called “balky.”” (Jim calls that ‘a bad oni ) The ancients thou of cow with the horns dug out so to. most important him). is hi to other fe You eat ish When brother hool, | Horsehai on harnses to keep it from Yesterday, when [fo a kompozition on could sce where off the anmulz sic ‘They dS,” ( —don’t led minute rany minutes hed “bout nor e! My father's a row-boat, im says Farther wouldn't: part know he wouldn’t cos he’s tried to, some hair tied onto it’s t the hoss was a kind k, but the most prominent ribs, 1 hosses ribs whem the him is entirely invisible. Jim told me this, he said | “that's a pointer for you.” I'll away from the barn, eminently fitted b: 5 P | | F arry me for?” -_—— f mpositions. t ion of bones covered 106 uck onto the natural paint-brush dT think partof a hoss (to of ive it to t me, 1 men put ing to long. t to write I xumined one and all une <, T mean,) asa as a lokomotive, who ever that is), is earth, and rans 20 believe he'd) run that runs as fast as to funerals and ture for with it for 875.00 I comicbooks.com