Judge — November 22, 1884 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. | Ata Husking Bee. | Important to Teachers. Didn't Like The Water. | Now the huskers are arrayed on Two teachers of lang 3 were discussing “So you don’t want to live on this place Many a dusky barn’s wide floor, matters and things relative to. their pre ny longer,” said ** landlord” to a man who Every swain beside his | fession. had rented a farm from him. Round the beaped 1 “Do your pupils pay up regularly on the “No, got enough of it. | With what bli first of each month?” asked one of them. “ Doesn't the land please you.” Do they watel 0, they do not,” was the reply. “Oh, yes, lund’s good enough.” Till thesudden oveulati T often have to wait for weeks and weeks |“ What, then, is the matter?” get my pay, and some times I don’t | Don’t line the water Loud proclaims the r | —Burli e ul. You'ean’t well dun the parents | for the money. Wafted from the Old Country, a nak ! Talwa “So, you've just arrived from the old |‘ How'do you manage it eountey?” | Tt is very simple. For instance [ am “Yes, Lame over in a smell.” teaching a boy French, and on the first day Ea namallt Cone, [don't wantite be:} of thot his folks don’t send the money | taken fora fool. What'do you mean.” for the In that event I give him Well, it was about the same thing—the | the following sentences to translate and | Oder froea Bremen.” | write out at home: ‘have no money. The —— | montn is up. Hast thou got any money? | Have not thy parents got money? I need Hardly; to-be: Golleved: money very much. Why hast thou not ~ jn. | brought the money this morning? Did thy | “ ene hink Fogg is either in- neve? TY Do you know {think Fou is either in- | rather not. give thee any money?” “That “What do you base your conclusions on?” | yoy brinys the BS ninth. “Well, he told mo that he got up last | CY brings the mor as Sifting | night when the baby was yelli * bloody Never Shies. || murder,’ and didn’t get a tack stuck in his | " heel. ow, this horse,” said a gentleman, | Topnoody who was about to purchase the animal from : jan honest old farmer, ‘is gentle I under- | “My dear,” said Mr. Topnoody to his ‘Gentle as ado wife, as he looked up from his paper, “I i Ne ee ruin see here that Henry Bergh is in favor of the | 1) SO.Cr whipping-post for husbands who beat their wive Who's Henry Ber; “Ts he an officer of th she inquired. law who expects to | valnable service he may | No my dear; he is the President of the || Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to | animals,”” \ * Doesn’t he call it eruelty to whip a hus- band at the post? | “Husbands are not animals, my de: “Oh, ain't they? Well my experience | and observation led me to believe they were.” “T don’t sce how you can say that.” “Well, they roll in the gutter sometimes; they grunt a good deal; they snarl and snap very often; tl “That’s enough, my dear, I see you are not inagood humor. I don’t think though, you would like to see me led to the whip- g-post.” Topnoody, I would not for various | “1 knew it, my dear. I knew it. You | feller don’t know wherg to put his h sie Shh iuat Wiuiberetie ceca alent y hard things at times, and you may |‘ Suppose you put it over your mouth. "— ity © TI ache lan * inside pack f at o, ngs, but Lam sure, underneath | Teras Siftings. ed gg it enews bees Poet: oe es it all, you are tender and loving, and your Hean?, Bhe SAB SaEEy” Your'.comame | 5 ‘ather to his son in coll You bet he is, | [ have got to have that. It might not be so severe on me to have you | futhe was the reply. ‘You couldn't ‘anager—** What for?” suffer to some extent, but I wouldn’t want | borrow a V. of him. if you were in the last ‘Actress—* My press fotions Es. || to see you killed.” | st of starvation."—Burlinglon Free : i my “ “No, m Jear? It doesn’t kill a man post.” “Killed, to whip oe *No, Topnoody, not under ordinary cir- cumstances; but if you had to go to the | whipping-post after got through with you, in case you attempted to beat me, I feel more than confident it would be a lar; dose than your constitution could stand; I would be left a widow, until after cleanin rdening are dor anid before 1 pring Nota thi “Well, Pil take him. When the gentleman went » leading the horse, some one remarked \ n't | to town? We ‘Il he used to Ye Well Ye doesn’t he ¢ shies anythin kansas Tra A Mere S “© Wity don’t you k said a gentleman at other, who talked ve every word with a There are so man Topnoody returned to his reading.—Mer- chant Traveler. everything he sees, He's blind in both now, ext thousands can testify. Never sees anything in the road to shy that the horse you used to drive shy lo it now?” at everything he but he iy, my dear sir, this is the best water in the neighborhood.” It mout be for some folks but it ain’t to me. [ust to live down in the swamp, you know, and got ‘eustomed to the water, and now, when [ take adrink an’ it don’t jolt me like I was hit witha mallet, w’y I put it down as no ‘count, so, mister, I don’t want to live on your place any longer.”—Arkansawo | Traveler. | Politics on the Border. Even the little ones have caught the craze and are ifying the accord- ing to their political predilections, ‘*What’s 8?” inquired a lad of six or se ubout his own age, the other di she replied, after a moment. of profound thought, “T'ain’t sure; Papa isa ‘Publican, Mama's a Democrat, and so I guess T must be a half-breed.”— Marquette ‘Mining Journal, your pol cn, ami Well,” of 1 master does a flourishing bus “Well you beat me,” as the drum remarked to the’ drumstick.— Boston Transcript. writing “Tire New York market is extensively supplied with foreign eggs.” We thought our fathers cast off the foreign yolk for good more th hundred years ‘ago.—Boston Transerip n KrxG_ (to. missionary) —“I t thing I (in earnest protest) — Bloomington Eye. CANNIBAL think the b Missionary not agree with you, sir. Don’t put fried Restavrant Max— venison on the bill of fare veler. uggestion. cep your hand still?” a Texas hotel, te ubly yp h, i ats, spitting of blood | considerable rehypothecation on his part nid shortness of breath, you have no time to | and conveyed him to a protoplasm.” * A lose. Do not hesitate too long—'till you are | what?” * Protoplasm. “What in the t eure; for taken in its early stages, con- | name of Webster is th “If you will n be cured by the use of Dr. glance at Worcester you will find that proto- iolden Medical Discovery,” as plasm signifies a cell.”—Rochester Post- By druggists. ed, have a hacking Cook—** All right; but why not, sir? | Restaurant man—‘‘ The cold weather has stiffened the price of shoe leather.”—Phila- delphia Call. Miss sEWwooD, who took part in amateur theatricals: ‘Oh, I’m so tired; I had to stand all the evening.” Miss Sharp, who was in the audience Ty dear, you have | not had to stand nearly ‘us much as we have.”"— Ex. ManaGer— Well, my dear, you can dis- iternal progeni- — | Caller—** | am one of the which I find has sus- | where your father ame ¢ Bostos wat itor is not i depositors in his bank, pended. Can you tell m 1 * The authorites le | press. comicbooks.com