Judge — November 8, 1884 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. Wires a pair of red lips ar With Do Well, pray for endur to let them al maybe youdo—but I doubt it When a sly little hand you're permitted to seize, With a velvety softness about it can drop it with never a squeeze? —but I doubt it. Do you think yor Well, maybe you eai When a tape react With a wonderful pl ait point ‘twixt the good ut “Wel, maybe you do—but I doubt it of your arm, ithe And if by your tricks you ¢ With a wom: n capture a heart, about it, uard it, aud keep it, aud act the good part? aybe you will—but I doubt it nly sweett town red at THe man who ee the —Hatchet. night feels blue in the mornin, Next to having a cold in one’s head that one can’t endure is having a poem in one’s head that one can’t write. Douett Citizen, A cold compress on the head will cure both. Soak it well—the compress, we mean.— Philadelphia Call. Some one asks why women button their clothes from left to right. While we are on rais topic we should like to inquire wh button their clothes with pins and nails. ‘That would be # more inter bject to investigate. — Graphic, Mn. brid Most charmed, indeed. I ha met your husband-that-is-to- 1. Groom, here a coachman Dovennut—*“* My the daughter, © not yet the-ah- inde Sir, there is no groom ;my daughter isn’t marrying Detroit Free Press. “ Now let’s go downstairs and ride on the electric railway,” said a city lady to her ister from the country Oh, no,” was the reply; “ my son John has got me to ride on team railré for the first time but I always said you could not get me to ride on a telegraph wire, and you can’t.” Globe. —Boston accomplice, after they had broken into a summer resort hotel, ‘ the proprictor’s room is down this hall.” ‘ Wot’s the mat- ter with you?” growled back the more ex- pert crackaman, “I know my busine nt to get to the room of the head —New York Mail. Tiere is a poor untutored freshly im- ported sad eyed, red haired, Milesian girl | out of a job on Bedford avenue. She hap- | pened to hear the lady of the house remark | that the oil paintings necded cleaning, and while the family y to Mauch Chunk for the day, she utilized a bar of brown soap and the kitchen scrubbing brush in cleaning | the paintings.— Brooklyn Times. “Tumpu!” said one little girl to her pla mate, vess Your pa is nothing but drammer, and I won’t speak to you.” “T don't care,” said the other, is nothing but a drum.” adrum?” a hald head and nothin “your pa it but noise.”—Paris Beacon, Uncle ‘Siah Sizes Cleveland. Ir makes a ¢ Haow polities is An’ bh So mighty poor a show They About Jim Blaine’s p An’ held up Cleveland ez 11 To do the world’s But o wer hez been showed Ter bs ckled fellar, They ack like € ter smile ter sce w the Demy hey made started out with lots of lies in’, chap w that Gr zy, bee-stun! That rush around an’ beller They want ter make us all be Aman kin be disgustin’ In privet, yet in offus be A-worthy o” our trustin’, ‘The privet conduck’s no account, They say, ef 5 ro the m iblick’s decint— Is little ez its reeint Ye can’t cut any man Like some half-rotten tater, An fling the wussest part away, An’ better hur Which sneaked Thet ever wuz squar Desa So, if this Clevel Furr The evil streak is in two, mater bout a ved arvin’ to be wit Al's acted mean, anness give him ered! 1 his heart, An’ he can't never shed it Uxcir Stan in New York Extra They Love the Work. “Why is it that th phone office are all ladie this inquriy of her husband. Vell,” answered Mr. Brown, ‘the managers of thestelephone company were aware that no class of employes work so faithfully as those who were in love with their work, and they knew that ladies would be fond of the work in telephone offices.” “ What is the work ina telephone oflice ilking,” answered Mr, Brown, and the tion came to an end, amerrille ployes in a tele- Irs. Brown made conve Journal. Right in Season. Rook AGent—“This is a regular swindle, I've walked twenty-two blocks at full speed this mornin t here early, because you adverti new publication just suit the s and here you hi nothi fres h lot of family Bible: ption Book Dealer— you are finding fault with. “Why, I supposed, of course, new campaign book of some kind, What do you mean by advertising a publication just uited to the season, when you have only Bibles? ” “Mean? season, of course but I can’t see you hada Why, I mean the fern pressing —Philadelphia Call. “It Knocks the Spots,” and everything in nature of eruptions, blotches, pimples, ulcers, scrofulous humor and ineipii nt consumption, which is nothin more or less than scrofula of the lungs, com- pletely out of the system. It stimulates and Inv 3 the liver, tones up the stomach, regulates the bowels, purifies the blood builds up the weak places of the bod is a purely vegetable compound, and more than is claimed for it. Pier Folden Medical Discovery.” We refer to Dr. | Cultured Catcher. e between the Bostons and Metropol lines went to th he stepped up to the plate, the um: vid: Low ball.” «What? demanded Hines, with paling cheek, “1 told ball,” the ani pi the pitcher to give you a low answered the umpire our information,” said Hines direct him to give me an with Bostonian, sir, never desires any And asthe umpire fainted, Hines struck a pre-Raphaelite ball to right field and fled out.— Washington Hatchet. With an Eye to Business. after selling his potatoes He left her in the she called to him: “Remember, John—get twelve yards of dark colored calico, and be sure to ask if it will wash, When he returned, t she held out her he tossed it into the « “Didn't Ohya? “Well, I diskivered that plug tobacker vas coming up and caliker going down, and I made up my mind you'd better wait.” That settled it with her. She heaved a sigh or two over the disappointment, and then her contented look returned.—Detrott Free Press. nd ashe s wagon at the market y minutes later, nd for the pa e, but gon with the reply: et no caliker.” Prov. Macu, a scientist of Prague, ported to have carried the art of insta neous photography to the point of F4 Pp aphs of a bullet in its flight. It may be ile, a few years hence, when the art of photography jis still further de- veloped, to take a photograph of a New York suk ofitor in his flight to Canad Norristown Herald. fr the tet gue ‘the tect fare tbeadac' Gr produce © AS THE ,, BEST TONIC artistic patterns ul