Judge — October 25, 1884 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

12 THE JUDGE. everything this time,” replied Mr. Franklin looking intently at the burning logs. “Could Builer beat I queried a At the name Butler, Mr. Franklin gave a start, but resumed his composure directly. “I am proud to say that I am a co-worker of Mr. Butler's,” said Mr. | Franklin, standin and sticking his chest | out like Roscoe, and I feel further constrained to say. that were Butlernominated he would carry States, Cities, Towns, Villages, Rive everything in fact.” “You're right!” yelled the crowd were just getting fairly warmed up on the ssue of the day. ‘Would you all support Butler if he ran on the Independent style?” asked Mr. Franklin shooting a fountain of tobacco juice into the log fire, that threatened to quench it, “I'd mortage my farm in Jersey for But- ler,” suid the old fossil. who was a reckoning on Vermont solid for the Democrats. “If Lcould only see Butler tonight, young man who had lately commen intricate study of politics, and the ulation of Home Again on an with a force direct from the shoulder-blade, I'd change the tune to Some Day. — But | 3 I can’t (getting in a note out of wind) I'll continue with Home Again.” “ Although its blowing like a porpoise outside, if I could only see a photograph of Ben. Butler, if not Ben. himself, Vd go to town and get a jug full of whis- key, and treat the crowd at my own ex- | pense,” reiterated a third | The landlord only ventured to say that | “he'd give Ben. | 1 piece of his mind, | if he ever laid his optics on him, as he had previously been interested in the ‘Tewks- | bury Hide Co, and Butler had hart his busi- ness.” who | said the d the manip. ‘ordeon, ler tler “So, gentlemen interrupted Mr. Franklin, if old Butler was here you would do all you eay, eh?” queried he, having heretofore remained an impassive auditor. “We would!” yelled the crowd. swear i “ We swear!” answeredthe crowd with one accord. | “Well,gentlemen. [am Ben, Batler of Boston, Ma chusett take the mortgage on that fart without delay, and the youth with that ten ment house piano will change his tune toSome Day, that thoughtful individual who pro- posed getting a jug full of whiskey will ran down to the drug store without Wasting any more time, and the landlord who was about to give mea portion of his intellect had be ter retain it for his own use, but as I might at some future day, make use of his optics, he can send them down any time he feels | disposed. And—, the Jerseyman with his mortgage, the young man with hisaccordeon, the individual with a taste for whiskey, and the lundlord in the hide business hail quietly left the room with the rest of the compan: and with a grim smile, Benjamin F. Butler donned his hat and cape, and started off for pastures new aftor having satisticd himself of the situation iu Northern Maine. amip Franklin and [ will in Jersey | Which requires the largest quantity of gullibility?—for intelligent men like Curtis and Beecher to believe that a statesman like the Hon. Morril Lepper is fit either in point of morals or intellect to be President of the | United States; or for the public to believe that Curtis and Beecher believe anything 30 monstrous as that? A Brick-Yard Drama. ‘Tue scene opens with a family rehearsal, in which pers rehearsed by a su says a relial nquiring § Sor Father— yard.” Whose br It belongs + Doc you, pa nal and business matters are essful father aged sixty rancisco paper, and an x n Agel What place iv chis, pa?” “No, my those big pi “This, my child, is a brick- rd is it, pa? ,my child.” of bricks belong to > mi on.” “Do those dirty men belong to you, pa?” my child, ‘There is no moreslavery in this country, those e free men. * What makes them work so hard?” son. Chey are working for living, my “ Wir do they work for a living?” “+ Because they are poor and are obliged to work. “+ How are they so poor when they work so hard? [don’t know, my child.” ‘Don't somebody steal from them what they rid in their eves aud blinded them. don’t the have made them? “No, « Yes, my Who does th rr 0, my child lous questions? bricks t what makes you ask such aps some of that dirt got But, pa, g to them after they child, they belong to me.” + What are bricks made of, pa?” “Clay, my child.” © Wha hat dirt down there?” hild, nothing else.” Wirt belong to?” ys to me, my son.” you make the dirt, pa?” No, my child, God made it.” Did he mak No, my child it for you esp. I bought it.” * Bought it of God!” No; 1 bought it like I bought anything Did the man you bought it of buy it of “T don’t know, my child, ask me some- thing easier. the land, isn’t it, pa? Any way, it’s a good thing you've got “Why, my son? “+ Because you'd have to make bricn for a living like them horrid men. Will IL have to work for a living when I'ma man?” “No, my boy, Pilleave you the land when Idi De | dead, pa? * What rem: “When are y | “1 don’t kuow, my son. ask? “Noth 9 | hard old brick your clay would make.”— » | Clinton B asks a con. on t people turn to clay when the are s of them is cla: a going to die, , only I was thinking what a 1 igle. HAT is rarer than a day in June?” emporary. the payment of subcriptions to this is so rare that it is almost raw!—Paris Bea- Why, hang it, man, ALL great men have some eccentric habit grea nd now that Sitting Bull is becoming civil- ized he is not an exception. Kin, spreads it on his chair, and Whenever the ief appears at dinner he carefully un- | folds his r sits upon it.—Peck’s Sun. Nature Took Her Corse. “ PLopoes,” said the groceryman yester- day morning, “I just heard that you used to be a physician.” Yes,” was the evasive reply. Didn’t you like the profession?” the groceryman. “Oh, yes, I liked it first-rate.” “+ How did you happen to drop it?” « You sce, I didn’t have enough patients * Yea, Lunderstand,” said the groceryman. “ Were you successful in your treatment of the ° ** Well, I should remark,” said Plodges, “1 got uniform results. I would first give a patient all the medicine he could stand and I could prescribe, and then I'd let nature take her ‘corse’, and she took it, and don’t you forget it.” “Then why didn’t you get a good run of patients? ” asked the groceryman. ked | They were just like you are now,” | replied Plodge: they wouldn’t trust me.” —Scissors. The Worst One. Tue worst pun on record is reported at his office as coming from an attorney of this city. A man had been arrested. for stealing, and the attorney was asked about J it. “ What is he charged wit inquiry. Stealing money,” was the reply. ** How much?” “Ten cents,” “Oh, is that it? sent to the Traveler. was his first Well, he ought to be pebny-ten-tiary.”"— Merchant He Saw Her. “Tien you called on your girl last night, Earl,” said'a down town youth to oue of | Avondale. tone. alled,” he answered in a bilious ea nice time “Did you see her?” “* Yes, saw her leaving the house with an- other fellow just as I turned the corner two squares away.”"—Merchant Traveler. He Was Used To It. AN elderly | the rural d ile one ni; entleman and his wife from tricts were coming into Evans- htthis week. ‘They were in the smoking car, each one occupying @ separate seat. The old man had crowded down, try- ‘o sleep with his head resting on the iron arm of the seat. The car gave asudden jerk and off rolled the old gent. A heavy grunt announced his downfall, then the passer | were thrown into a hearty laugh by hi arnest remark: ** Don’t kick me out of bed Sallie, don’t! a-doin You're allers Argu tha !—Evansville | A BRIGHT woman, who takes an interest in politics, met one of the smartest Demo- tic congressmen from the South the other da: She said she thought things | looked blue fur Mr. Blaine. The brilliant son of w wise father replied: “A man who puts his head in a barrel and holloas thinks it is thundering.” The Democrats have got their head in the barrel and are holloaing.—Piil- | adelphia News. comicbooks.com