Judge — October 18, 1884 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. Joe Pulitz- t. Lonis, a and holy aming, guage for more than twenty years er, late Police Commissioner of $ politician of all parties and a puri patriot who gathers guineas in the works the World in the interest of Cleveland and virtue, and the sweet party that tried to destroy the Union. Joe and his hench- men have a nice contract to remove the animals of defun y Thus, if me I think tha 1 through the of Cleveland to are known by their com- Blaine’s grand triumphal pany, nt. ry of the American people is as fresh as the dawn, and as bright as the dia- mond. Although a hundred years of free- dom have crowned the Republic we have not forgotten the free trade harlot of old Albion, nor the Tories nor the Democrats who were her adjuncts. The slime of the snail nake of monarchy we ‘The mem g wn trace on the ridges of Bunker Hill, through the marshes at New Orleans, along the shores of Lake I blood dyed waters of Bull Ran, II protéct our free labor and it will be a very frigid day when the working man of America will consent to labor for fifty cents, when he can command two ne election of Blaine will give to the Union the most brilliant and pr ive ad- ministration itever h andif the British, or any other lion of royalty assails us at home ad, Pr ent Blaine will twist all the and the teeth out of the bloated animal It will cheer your honor to know that th clerks in the Departments and the patriotic people of the country are contributing with | liberality to the I mpaign: fund. This is sad news for 5 and Barnum, Bat Elkins, Clapp, and Adams seem to bear up under the jingle of the gold with heroic and Christian forti- tude. Rej Grieve They want full measu Of all your pleasurc ¢ and men will seek you, hey turn and pur woe, But they do not want ly thine, Joun A, Joyce. A Hot Old Cold. Tus cold has got ahead of me, and now after the body.. It settled on my principally, and all I can do I can’t set- It’s an old settler. It is about th st north-pole cold, with a mans nd bay window attachment, you ever Lam not magnifying this ger unl grow. I have a cough tosuit it th all the notes in the ascending s it had a good manipulator, any kind of calliope music could be evolved from it. Asit is, it is pure waste of music to which all the boarders around me object. It tickles my throat, but that is about the only way it tickles me, I must confess. I cough often, I will soon be off coughin’. What a cold joke! I have a weight on my breast like a stone on akraut barrel. I sometimes think it is Amarintha’s head—if this cough ever does let me go to sleep and dre nes said dL saw. it could not be made Is eC! I could this morning at the table that I was worth ts money to the house as all the ‘ould be scared out of it, The landlady said there was no money in her congher, the poor woman, Axxiovs Wire aNp Motiren—“ Don't you'll get soaked Urough!” I can cough in four langu learning anothe T all they never so eloquent. en if I climb ar n’t talk above a whisper, up on the fence, and when I call upon Ama most intha she hears some of the nate coughs and feelingly out and stump th question as it will eff 4 seem to talk through my ears, and my head isso heavy it is with the greatest difficulty that I hold it above my neighbors. ‘This is a summer cold, but I'd like to know what a winter one would be. Itisone » freezing colds that makes a man near me think he is in the vicinity of a cold snap, and makes him feel refreshed and thankful if it wasn’t for the noise and the wheezing. I sang in the choir last Sabbath, but put in more coughs than notes, and filled up all the intervals with sneezing. The bark that held the prince went down, but this bark that holds me never docs. It is very hard to y breath dit did always seem like work to draw my breath when I was well. I have stewed all the corns off my toes with hot baths, and all the Our party wa sta syrups I can take only facilitate more coughs. | What I want, I think, is something to keep them down, for with all my coughing I can’t cough this cold up. Tan id of my lungs as I only have one pair. I get desperate, and try to run away from myself, but don’t get very far. When I am asked the pi article in the store I am tellin, doctors s isallon somethi somethi The 8 never so good, and it ountof my custom, Th I have for a cold, but what I want is that will be against the cold. I ] . and am VAA be “ “/ you see it ix raining hard; come right in op ny money up, and to-day Iam no better man than the people think Iam. Some young ladies, because I sneezed a good deal 1 the other day, intimated that snuff, and it is spreading all around town, ‘Snuff to set me crazy. I can’t goto church to-morrow unless they give me chloro-, form there, and I fear I have not religion enough left of late to permit me to go, any way; this cold has been so straining on my lungs and religion. I have been advised to take everything clear down to a shot gan. | I can’t thaw it out, I might d/ow it out, Between coughs, yours truly Brown. Attest A. W. Bentaw. Suenirr, read this inscription on the front door of the White House: “ Who enters here leaves rope behind.” Tue two Rs. The Constitution guaran- tees us a republican government with a small r; a majority of the American people guaran- tee us a Rebublican government with a big KR. What more could we ask? Tlistoricus” wants to know whether the cup found in Benjamin of sack and hence whether Benj: tian is Falstaff and his surname Sir John, and if not so whether that’s why his brethren were jealous of him when his sack was opened at Chicago, and if 80 why Joseph foretold that the chief Butler would not be hanged by Pharaoh (Jeff Davis to the con- trary notwithstanding) and if not, why not for Joe? At present we can do nothing for Histor- icus, but as soon as we have a moment’s leisure have swallowed every thing down and used all | we shall promptly give it up. comicbooks.com