Judge — October 18, 1884 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ACCIDENTALLY First Gent or Leisure labor.” Seconp G « [see de paper statesmen, we deem it more important than ever to reaffirm the doctrine that Confucius is regarded as one who has been regarded as an eminent citizen of China, while on the | other hand the pigtail, notwithstanding its deficiency as a fly chaser and its inherent | tendency (in its native state) to curl up, yet since nature has seen fit to adorn it with the rear quarters of the young of the swine, we nevertheless rally around the fact that to compel it (the pigtail) to wear a native born American citizen would be contrary to the spirit if not to the letter of the Constitution. OUR FOREIGN POLICY. We firmly adhere to the time honored Monroe doctrine that James Monroe suc- ceeded James Madison as President of the United States, and respectfully invite foreign nations to take the same view. While we should preserve a becoming reticence in regard to the proceedings of foreign govern- ments, we cannot refrain from denouncing a 8 disgrace to the civilization of the age Pharaoh’s treatment of the children of Israel, and we hereby indorse the patriotic course | which the Red Sea took in the premises. At the same time, though believing it to be the duty of our government to take the part of the oppressed, yet in view of international | relations we believe it wrong for Congress to foment a war between the Czar and the Emperor of Russia; to stir up strife between the Queen of England and the British crown, or to egg on the Datch to make an attack on | Holland. admiration toa ship canal across the Atlantic OVERHEARD, says that Blaine’s election is sure to prostrate st—* Ves, and make capital idle too; its very bad for us either way.” Ocean for the purpose of improving the navigation of the Andes. As to Cuba we favor the conservative policy of those eminent statesmen who have never ceased to regard it as an island surounded by water on every side. For the same reason we should in our intercourse with the South American Re- publics scrupnlously abstain from every attempt to obstruct the ancient right of way which the sun has of crossing the equator, and which the equator has of crossing Irazil. saucer, Grover’s my name, Albany’s my station, But all the same If I don’t keep an eye on him Ben Butler will be my da—, I mean will be the reverse of my salvation. INcREDIBLE as the thing may appear, there is a—a something who edits and ‘ propriets a paper in the Southern Indiana bush that is not easy on the subject of Mr. Blaine’s religion. The good grandmotherly soul seems to have a vague fear that since the Republican platform has failed to define the candidates posish on transubstantir tion, Papal supremacy, and the immaculate conception, ergo the government, or at least the next Democratic convent’on, will be blown up by Guy Fawkes and Monsignor Capel. Bat after all, why not. Us have each candi dates confession of faith forthwith. Grover’s might be given perhaps in the words of devil! “Mariar put the kettle on.” A Campaign Song. Written and sung by MiLLES 8 Gutxse, membe BL &L. Campaign Glee C Come freemen attend, let the shouts ascend For liberty, one and all, And stand for the right, with all your might, Wherever your daty ms Chorus: —Hurrah! Hurrah for the waving plume, And the Eagle of the West; ‘The stars on our banners the heav'ns iNume When Blaine at the White House resta, Let every man work and no labor shirk, Till we vote our candidates in; For sure as the sound of ‘The banner of Blaine vember comes ‘round, will win, Chorus:— Then cheer ‘till the skies shall ring with your cries ‘or the statesman so thorougly tried, And honored will be every true man, and free Who manfully stands by his si Chorus:— The Democrats scowl and dismally how! Whenever the truth appears. ‘They will rout and pout when we tell them about ‘Their record for twenty-four years Chorus:— But Cleveland will go, with Hendricks & Co. To fecd upon husks with the swine. To the darksome shades with their amorous maids, Where the dolorous woodbines twine. Open Letter from Col. Joyce. Washington, D. C., October, 1884. My Dear Jupoe: You will observe that the elections in ¥ and Ohio have not justified the hopes predictions of one Carl Schurz, a Hessian hero and a caluminator also, If the speeches of this political tramp have the same effect in November that they have had in September and October, he can be put down as the boss boomerang of the century. Like chickens, his lacerating lies come home to roost, and while his hypocrisy is glazed over with honied words, his political anat- omy is like the pursued ostrich of the desert nded, but not secure. The presidential campaign seems to be mixed. If the Germans who drink beer vote for Cleveland, and the Irish who drink whiskey vote for Blaine, and St. John goes into the wilderness to eat locusts and wild honey, and Belva Lockwood belabors a bicycle—what will become of Beecher and Grover when they are forced to patch up the lacerated feelings of Elizabeth and Maria; without taking into consideration the howls of little Oscar for his late lamented papa? These are sober questions that must be answered at the polls by a virtuous and con- fiding people. The so-called supporters of the late hang- man from Buffalo, in a moral sense, are enough to damnan archangel. Beecher, the freedom shrieker of the past, turns a Chris- tian pulpit into a platform for the slavery party. Jones, of the Times,» prima facie editor, deserts the love and loyalty of Ray- mond for the free trade slush that falls from the swill barrel of the Cobden Club, Young Bennet, thetuft-hunter, turns the great news- aper of his father into a garbage cart for emocracy. Curtis, the civil service crank, We further pledge our unqualified | Barnaby’s raven: ‘I'm a Protestant! I'm a | spews out toft sentimental platitndes, trying to bless the party he damned in classic lan- comicbooks.com