Judge — October 18, 1884 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. Learning His Trade. City Epito1 had had exper New man—‘ Y hen how does it happen that you use such unjournalistic language as this ‘The Hon. William Blank next addressed the meet- ing?” “Tsn’t that all right?” “All right! It’s all wrong! One would think the meeting in favor of our own ticket! Why, sir, it’s an opposition meet- See here, you told me you reporter.” | **T can’t see what difference that makes. | How should I write it?” | ‘Bill Blank next harangued tne crowd.” | —Philadelphia Call. Sure on His Future. “LEND you money, sir? How on earth can you ever pay?” | “Well, sir, Lam going to be a very rich man soon. ” “ How's that?” ; “Tm going to marry the richest young woman in New York.” “You don’ ad Yes I do. “ When did she accept you?” “‘T haven’t said anything to her about it.” “Then how in the world—” “Her father has hired mea and—” Ah, well, then, of course, sir. What sum do you wish? "—Chicago News. coachman, Fashion Note. | — “Pa,” said Johnny Davidson, ‘ Mr. Smithers never kisses his wife when she is dressed up.” “Tow do you know so much?” “Te said so himself. He told you so the other day.” | “T didn’t hear him.” “Why, yes you did. You and he were talking about war, and he said he had never smelt powder. he had kissed his wife when she was dressed up, he would have been bound to smell powder, for she has it all over her face. when she is dressed up.” — Texas Siftings. “Wiat do you mean by running down || our navy so?” indignantly inquired Quarle as Sanderson was expatiating on the use- lessness of our war ships. ‘Well, I don’t see why I shouldn’t, Wien a little two-for- a-cent schooner runs down one of our men of war, I don’t see why a man can’t run the entire down,” retorted Sanderson,— || Brooklyn Times. Joes Brown is rich and stingy. An ac- aintance of his met Brown’s son the other “Your father seems to have lost a deal of money lately. The last time I saw him he was complaining and saying he must economize.” ‘* Economize?” Did he say where he was going to begin?” “ Yes, on his table he said.” ‘¢'Then he must be going to take away the table cloth,” was the | filial declaration.— Philadelphia News. | Throat and Lung Diseases, a specialty. Send two letter stamps for a large treatise giving self-treatment. Address World’s Dispensary Medical Association, Buffalo, N. ¥ A Pretty Good Guess. “Wurat sort of a looking woman is Mrs. Syntax?” “She is a red-headed woman, I've never een her, but I know that much about her.” “But how do you come to know that she has red hair?” “I saw Syntax yesterday, with his head tied up, and he was asking where was the cheapest place to have furniture repaired.” —Tezas Siftings. Alarming Weakness in Men. Accident Insurance at Half Rates. THE BEST IN THE WORLD. UNITED STATES MUTUAL ACCIDENT ASSOCIATION 320 & 322 Broadway, N. Y. Insure-m-the United-States- Mutual 32 &.| ident Association i 320 Broddway NewYork, i Teh Hi : if 332 Gea SEU PRESERVATION Hostess.” What, Colenel_geing soscory ? CoteneL. Im only going out a moment to get a Policy inthe U.S.MUTUAL ACCIDENT ASSOCIATION.” «9 4 a Hostess." What for? Areyou ill? 4% as Coenen. *No_ but.1 see that young Smyke is about te Sing” eae erer nr oe comicbooks.com