Judge — September 20, 1884 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“ Begorra, and I'll have a tast of this, Real Stuff, I don’t know.” It may be some of the THE WRONG FIRE-WATER. Ohi tiortiy Outrageous. He kissed me, Audacious! What meant he? It was done ere I half was aware, Were I only achild, but at twenty ‘Tis a horrible thing, I'll declare! On my cheek just here where he kissed it ‘The blushes of shame come and go; “Twas so sudden I could not resist it, And I'll necer forget it, I know. The loony, what impudence, truly! “Tis a wonder I did not outscream. What possessed him to act so unruly? And somehow it seems like a dream, I'll never get over it, never Should be try it again I'll resent; He will find it a fruitless edeavor, Unless—well, unless I relent, An Irish Lady’s Objections. Mn. Fixxroax, Esq. “ Arrah, phat’s the use of talkin’, Mary Ann, Will we spile our shoes be walkin’, Mary Annt Sure I'll just expind a quarther, That I med be mixin’ morthar, An’ we'll take a yalla carringe, Mary Ann, “Twill be like a big-bug marriage, Mary Ann.” Mary Ann: “Wud ye ax me to go in a black an tan, No, be hevins, I'm agin a black an tan, For I kem of the O'Gradys, Who were gintlemin an’ Indies, ‘And they'd never pathronize a black an tan, I'm their daughter—tI despise a black an tan. The Book of the Tribes of Columbia. CHAPTER VI. Democracy maketh an attempt to kick ite presereers ; it recciveth a lesson on the blackness of ingratitude. 1, Tue Dimmekrats were thinning out in these days; verily, as time passed by, the Dimmekrats grew less and lee and many said, ‘‘Lo, hath not the time come for Democracy to die? How long will it live on Jefferson’s grave?” 2. But among the Dimmekrats were many strong men, able and brave. These counted brilliant men, smart scribes and warriors, 3. And these alone kept Democracy alive; had it not been for them, the Dimmekrats would have shuffled off ere Moses’ time. Yet these received not the reward due unto them, which was given to cowards and sneaks. 4. Among these men was John Kelly, a bold warrior, who had been nursed on powder in his infancy, and been nurtured on blood instead of Mrs, Winslow’s soothing syrup. 5. Also was there one Dana; 8 man who had sat in sackcloth and ashes, and had grieved the land with his wailing, and had moaned as one doth who holdeth but the seven of trumps in his hand, while his ad- versary possesseth both bowers, the joker, and other little things; and had cried unto the people, saying: 6. “Behold, I was not collector of the port!” 7. Another of these men was Butler, he who had once been chief of the tribe of Massachusetts, 8. And there was also one Purcell, one who had worked without ceasing for the Dimmekrats, and had visited Rochester with his eagle eye, that Democracy might have a flush. 9, Then there was also Gleason, a chief- tain in the West, and a leader among the Irish warriors. A mighty man amongst the Hibernians. 10. And Sandison war there, the chief scribe of the Star. Who had worked for the Dimmekrats from the rising of the sun to the going-down of the moon of the same. 11. And it came to pass that when many days had gone by, the Dimmekrats gathered themselves together to hear talking among the chieftains. 42. And Johnkelly arose and said unto them: “Behold, we have fought many days for ye, my brethren, and yet no reward has come unto us. We have Itbored and toiled for thy sake, yet a cold biscuit is all we get from thee. Give unto us now some reward for our services, or we will bolt, honest enjun.” 13. Johnkelly, then cleared his throat, was silent and spoke no more. 14. Then Butler answered and said: ‘‘ My brethren, ye have heard these things, and they are true. Fer these twenty years have I worked for thee; I have bulldozed and whooped until mine eye grew dim.” 15. The Dimmekrats, having heard his speech, did agree with the justice of it. 16. But in the party were many weak and foolish men who lurked under the impression that a Buffalo infant could deliver a whoop- ing unto Blaine. 17, And these contained such men as Daniel, not he that read the writing on the wall, for this Daniel’s name was Manning, and moreever he had not the brains of the original Dan; and other thieves and rascals. comicbooks.com