Judge — September 13, 1884 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. we REV iG PVBLISHED, LY Henent 0, Tompson (to Cleveland.)— Why, them's the independent toolers, help to whitewash you, you know. about; me bounce ’em after election, all th AGUSES EVERYBOOY = favo ANYBODY Ano ¥ fron tHe pacsent SCHURTZ JALE | Hapout THE LOVILIN ESS cirvPlanaos ne PAR THCULAR BLAINT. mm TD Awe ©000 Oee tiphe me PARTY Ate oR DCL he same.” Forget Late Crop Report. DRAWN FROM A SECRET DRAWER IN THE RUREAC OF AGRICULTURE Ix Arkansas the wheat crop is coming » flour splendidly; but since last month’s report we regret to hi wu much of the corn is inclined to g on its ear. In Pennsylvania it is expected that the corn crop will yield ninety per cent of mush; but the Backwheat crop, a8 usual, is buck- ing against the Bureau. Owing to the heavy drouth, the cotton crop is so deep in the grass that our corres- pondent found it impossible to get at.it for an interview. Viewed from the surrounding fence, much of it looks seventy-five per cent more invisible than it was a month ago. In Louisiana the sngar crop promises eighty-one one-half per ceut of sweetn and the yield, it is thought, will be so great that the conscientious portion of the com- nity at large justly fear that sugar will largely used “next year during business hours, for the purpose of adulterating glu- cose and sand. In Virginia the wheat crop, so unpromis- ing in the spring, was readjusted by the June rams and will yield not less than two pecks to the bushel. In North Carolina the corn is making a splendid stand; bat the pea-nut stand does not flourish here as in the towns of the s the beet crop was killed off to a con- lerable extent by the late spring fros there will be no scarcity of dead beets during the coming year. In New England the grass-hopper crop was greatly injured by the bad condition of the g In Kansas, too, there has been a decided falling off. In fact, the grasshopper crop on account of its flightiness, has never been a reliable one, and we would advise our farmers to abandon its cultivation. The tobacco crop, the tidy house-keeper will be ple than usual juiciness. sid ed to learn, is develonins a more | Irish potatoes are developing uncanny- looking eyes, and are reported to be less aly (especially in the mouth) than usual. | Still, there is no occasion for alarm, as the | Bureau will keep its open eye on them, In Indiana, and in fact all the doubtful states, the corn seems to hesitate about coming into t The army-worm has so far escaped the wheat crop, but the War Department is after him and expects to gobble him before he can reach the frontier, | In New York the green apple crop_pre- vails toan alarming extent, and is killing off the bad boy by thousands. Let us hum- bly hope that his loss will, in a land of such boundless fertility as ours, be speedily sup- plied by other bad things in abundance. VELAND, the rapid riser. Gov. C an early, is Mr. Hewitt is the only Democratic statesman whose pillow is visited by no vs dreams of Democratic triumphs. He blest with the curse of insomnia. is To y New York for the Democrats will require how many votes? Echoanswers, “'Tam-many votes.” (Echo answers like a Dutchman, but the voice sounds like Kelly’s.) “Watt,” says an enthusiastic Cleveland organ, ‘till we start the campaign in earn- est.” In plainer English,—we intend to start the campaign as soon as we find the bung-starter. Tuere will be an end for some time to the building of platforms in Chicago, for want of timber of the proper badness. Since the adjournment of the last platform-build- ers, you can go through all the lumber-yards in that twice-in-one-year-blessed city, and find never a slab or plank of knotty, or gnarled, or warped, or cross-grained, or worm-eaten, or wind-shaken, or half-rotten timber. though not | Midsummer. BeNkatn the umbrageous shed the waiter reaches The deliquescent clam; And losing turfites by the Brighton Beaches it the pleasa son with early peaches His little waist doth cram, On sea and sound the small boy grasps the rudder In time to sweetly drown; And from the sea-side cow with rubber udder | The lacteal poureth down; But faster flow the varicgated currents Of mingled foam and beer; Down thirsty throats, with magical recurrence, They swiftly disappear. | The laundryman now cuffs his boy, and collars Much cash from aqueous beaux; : | While in my garret, for a poor two dollars, This poem I compose. WeE.S, A GAS-FIXTURE—the lawyer's mouth. Bap form—the other party’s platform. A SURPRISE party—the party who has just come on deck with a warrant. Wn is the old ticket like the Kilkenny catsafter the fight? Because there is nothing left of it but the tail. Witt Logan’s English misfit the office of Vice-President any worse than the glish with which the Democrats tried to fill the same office four years ago? Ir is understood that one of General Butler’s electioneering schemes is to give his party an excursion on board his yacht before the close of the campaign.—Chicago Herald. A_sILLy New York swell persisted in go- ing into deep water at Long Branch in order to show off before the girls, and was carried fut uz sea. All’s swell that ends swell.— Philadetphia Call.